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safe to tell??

(7 Posts)
Tigger31 Mon 16-Feb-15 18:19:25

I am 7wks+3 and feeling sick - all day & all night. (PLEASE tell me this is jst a first trimester thing?!)

My partner & I decided to keep our exciting news a secret until 12 weeks, but I am struggling physically & I think it's becoming apparent I'm not 'right'! Not to mention the fact I've stopped drinking (something I usually excel at...!!)

All the women from one side of my famliy are coming over this week (a rare occurrence; something that has been planned since Christmas) and I don't want them to think I'm poorly, or just don't want them there, but I am definitely not capable of being my usual upbeat self.

The problem is, we live next door to my in-laws. And we really didn't want to tell them until 12 weeks because, well, for all her genuine loveliness my mother in law can be quite overbearing, and also cannot keep her trap shut...!

So my partner is against me telling my lot because it wouldn't be fair for his mum to find out so much later.

What to do?!!! I fully understand where my o/h is coming from, but I really want to tell my family so that they understand I'm not miserable - and to be honest I'd really like some female moral support.

I guess this is the first of many first-time pregnancy dilemmas?!! Hoping one of you has been in a similar one & can offer some advice...?

Katie2489 Mon 16-Feb-15 18:29:57


Difficult dilemma, but IMO it is your body and if you feel you need moral support from your family then you should tell them. I'd be sympathetic to dh and his mama but if you both don't want you mil to know till later than that is fine. Also, your family will probably guess anyhow if your usually a keen drinker!

Casmama Mon 16-Feb-15 18:34:26

I disagree actually tell or don't tell but whatever you decide treat both families the same otherwise it is likely to cause problems.

Casmama Mon 16-Feb-15 18:36:20

Also better to start being more assertive with your MIL now as you don't want her being overbearing once the baby arrives. Oh and congratulations grin

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore Mon 16-Feb-15 18:45:06

Congrats! I told my parents 5 weeks before my dh's family as I was suffering physically and my mum needed to know. I just made it clear that my parents were the exception to the rule and I didn't tell my sisters or anyone else in my family. I think dh realised that my parents are in a special category and didn't feel I was being that unfair as I didn't tell my whole family. Do you need to tell everyone who is coming over, or could you try to make it 'fairer' by just telling your mum or someone else you are particularly close to? It might make your partner feel better as he won't then feel like your entire family know.

Tigger31 Mon 16-Feb-15 19:18:49

Thanks for your input ladies. Have discussed (again) with my man tonight & have decided to keep shtum after all. In a few weeks, all being well, everyone will know why I was looking so green around the gills anyway!

Sooo you might just find me on here wailing about how fucking AWFUL I feel, for the next 4/5 weeks...! :-/

hestialou Tue 17-Feb-15 06:52:16

Told my mum as soon as test positive as she great support to me and dh,pil arent so much, don't need to know and didn't cotton on to how sick I am so don't know yet.

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