Advanced search

Pregnant? See how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy with the Mumsnet Pregnancy Calendar.

Elective C-section

(16 Posts)
samesong12 Fri 06-Feb-15 17:27:34

Hi all, İ am 34wks pregnant with second child and am looking for advice on elective c section.
İ suffer from severe SPD, stumbling through with belt, crutches and bedrest. İ also started suffering with Anxiety and palpitations after my first child.
After many talks with my midwife and time to think about what İ feel is best for my birth İ had an appointment with consultants to discuss a planned section and was left totally fuming.
My first child was born with normal delivery and although there were a few problems everything was fine in the end and İ recovered well. My main issue with the birth was the terrible care İ received during and after labour.
İ explained my worries to the consultant about the laçk of care and consideration during my first delivery and how this time with the constant pain and stress İm under , after much consideration İ would like an elective section. İm worried about being forced to use stirrups (İ was made to in first delivery even though it was against my wishes due to the SPD but İ didnt argue it as they were in a hurry to get baby out) and worried about causing more damage to my pelvis. İ cannot open my legs at all and have problems with my knee meaning İ cant put any weight on it.
When i was given a date to see the consultant about booking a section İ relaxed immediately knowing İ would have a date when my little one would be here and the stress and worry was replaced with excitement and determination to get through the last few weeks! İ was told by my midwife that they could not turn down my request for a section but İ would have to listen to the risks etc. İ had done weeks of research and was happy to discuss these. However, the consultation was the most infuriating, patronising experience of my life! İ was told matter of factly that İ would not be able to pick my baby up for 6 weeks after a section, that it would affect future pregnancies (i said this is my last and im 100% sure about this and was told İ was young so how would İ know this) İm 27 and in no way am İ putting myself through the struggles İve had in this pregnancy again. İ only ever wanted 2 Children anyway. İ was given the huge list of cons of a section and the list of of pros of natural birth. İ felt like İ was being talked too like a child who had not already thought about any of this.
İ have a massive support network should İ need it for the recovery of a section but basically the meeting ended with me being refused and told İ could go back with my mum to re talk. (İ am adult enough to make decisions without my mum however her and the rest of my family back my decision)

Does anyone have any advice on what to do next? İ left the hospital angry and in tears and now am stressing about what to do next. Should İ try to move hospitals or stay where İ am as İ dont have long left and hope for the best. İ would like to make it clear that İ am not afraid to give birth naturally but more about the extra pain and possible damage that can be done to my pelvis.

All advice would be appreciated, thanks.

mineymo Fri 06-Feb-15 17:45:10

You've been treated awfully, I'm sorry this happened to you.

NICE guidelines clearly state that you are entitled to see a different consultant if the first consultant will not grant you a cs. You need to take advantage of that and demand to see someone different, and soon since they will likely carry out an elcs at 39 weeks. I'd phone your midwife asap and find out how you go about doing this.

TakingTheStairs Fri 06-Feb-15 19:11:44

You poor thing. I'm sorry you were treated so shabbily. Ask to see another consultant.

Oh and not being able to hold your baby for six weeks is a load of crap. .. Just in case you were worried.

Hellohellohowareyou Fri 06-Feb-15 19:27:58

Yep load of crap! I had my son by emcs and could hold him/pick him up fine. I was just very careful and like you have already pointed out I had a fantastic support network too. Hope it all works out for you x

weelamb123 Fri 06-Feb-15 19:30:35

Yes, I back that up. I had c-section with my ds and was able to pick him up and care for him perfectly well. Xx

meglet Fri 06-Feb-15 19:33:17

You will be able to hold your baby once you are back in recovery and nicely comfy on pillows, and maybe even while in theatre. I found my EMCS recovery bloody painful but holding a newborn that weighs 7lbs wasn't a problem at all.

Although I would recommend living in pj's for at least 2 weeks and keeping visitors to a minimum.

Jaffakake Fri 06-Feb-15 20:50:48

I'm so sorry you had that awful experience. I'm requesting an elcs after an emcs last time & my reasons are psychological not medical. I went in there expecting a fight but it was just fine.

As pp have said use the nice guidelines & go back to them. You are a grown up, know your own life & support systems so they can't judge on that.

Showy Fri 06-Feb-15 20:55:28

Well I held my baby in theatre and recovery and on the ward and 12hrs later as I walked out of hospital with him.

They do need to tell you the risks. Of course they do. It is surgery. However, they have no right to belittle you.

samesong12 Fri 06-Feb-15 21:11:40

Thanks for the responses, i feel better knowing its not just me that thought their points were ridiculous! İ saw 3 consultant at the same time but am going to chase up a second opinion first thing monday and failing that a referral somewhere else. İ will also have the NİCE guidlines to hand next time! İ would like to have a natural birth like before but just do not want to take the risk and would like to make things as straight forward and organised as possible for my daughter who has been stuck with a pretty useless mum during this pregnancy yet has been a total angel and reminds me every day why we do it!

İ do appreciate your comments and am feeling slightly less stupid/frustrated so thank you!

freneticfox Fri 06-Feb-15 21:33:40

I am so sorry you went through this; I've recently filed a formal complaint against the hospital I WAS with due to the way a consultant treated me. I have severe SPD and hypermobility, to the point I've been stuck in a wheelchair/on crutches since about 32w (I'm now 39w). Both my physio and midwife supported my interest in requesting an ELCS, especially after my MW saw first hand how pain I found parting my knees.

Despite this, both consultant appointments I had (the first one denied my request flat out), were awful. The second in particular was utterly awful. I got out all of the research that my husband and I did, with particular areas of interest highlighted that I wanted to discuss as a point of concern. She shoved the papers aside and actually used air quotes with her fingers and said "Well I can tell you now, your 'research' means nothing". She then lectured me and my husband on how serious having a child is (as though we were stupid teens who split a condom - we're both in our 30s and this is a very much planned pregnancy). I left in floods of tears after she told me that "no normal woman gives birth via c-section". I then got a letter from the hospital saying they ascertained I needed counselling because I clearly wasn't in sound mind. I was completely floored, devastated and horrified. I immediately spoke to my midwife who sent me details of the next nearest hospital - who have great feedback. She also urged me to make a formal complaint which I have done.

When I had an appt with the new hospital, the consultant took one look at me and said "I can't fathom how much pain you're in, let's talk options". Of course we spoke about risks/benefits, but she helped me to make an informed decision, and I have an ELCS booked for next week.

DEFINITELY chase a second opinion and talk to your midwife too if possible to get her view - it may be that you can make a complaint... I'm not normally one for making a fuss but I do NOT want any other women to suffer the humiliation that I did at my local hospital. Vile, awful, experience.

I wish you all the best x

agnesrose86 Fri 06-Feb-15 21:38:56

I am sure they can't say that you can't have an elective c-section, it is your choice (NICE guidelines). They have to advise you to try for a normal birth because it is SO MUCH cheaper for the NHS.

Doobydoo Fri 06-Feb-15 21:43:38

I had emergency section with 2nd child...I had requested a section for this and been refused.In fact was visited by consultant after who aplolgised!For my third I was prepared to fight and encountered no resistance at all...that was in a different country though.Ask to be referred to someone else.Good luck .

SilverStars Fri 06-Feb-15 21:45:00

As others said go back and insist on a section and if that consultant disagrees ask to see one that will support your request.

You will be able to pick up your baby after a section. When I had mine ( EMCS) I had to pick my own baby up in hospital 2 days later - staff would not do it for me!!!

LollieLoves Fri 06-Feb-15 21:53:17

You have the right to have a section if that is your choice. For the consultant to give you all the cons of a section and pros of vaginal birth - without giving you the pros of a section and risks of vaginal birth - is biased, unscientific and unprofessional. It is also unprofessional to treat you in such a patronising manner. I don't know quite who he thinks he is, but I would ask for a second opinion asap and make a complaint.

Good luck! I hope you are out of pain soon, and birth goes swimmingly.

mrsnoon Fri 06-Feb-15 21:55:29

I had a similar experience requesting a section with my first baby.
My reasons are fairly unusual (to do with family medical history) but medical rather than psychological, dont want to out myself by being too specific but its to do with an area of medicine that the UK has done very little research on. The NHS would rather pay out to cover long-term disability than fund research, fair enough but when other countries ARE doing the research, I'd expect it to be at least considered. Anyway. The 1st consultant I saw at 19 weeks was rude, dismissive of all the research I'd taken the time to do and basically spoke to me like I was some uneducated 15 year old who, on a whim, dragged myself away from watching Jeremy Kyle in my council bedsit with my multitude of gold chains and smackhead boyfriend in order to ask for a major operation. I was told to go away and read the NICE guidelines again (I actually had a copy with me) and come back at 34 weeks when we would discuss it again. I left angry, upset and humiliated.
I saw my midwife a few days later and told her if this wasnt agreed I would be seeking a termination and complaining to the Chief Exec about my appointment, she rang straight up for an appointment with a 2nd lovely consultant who saw me the following week, listened to my concerns and booked me in there and then. She told me no-one else would ever have the exact same experience as me so I was the best person to ultimately make the decision.

Get your midwife on board, see another consultant (as is your right) and get booked in.

Instamum Sat 07-Feb-15 17:26:02

I understand your predicament. I had an awful emergency c section last time because it burst. So obviously the hospital are sucking my butt due to their medical negligence this time and are totally happy for me to have an elective c section because it will be a consultant.

An emergency c section is usually a registrar and could be inexperienced like mine was.

Obviously I don't want to scare you, my case was rare. But you will feel more at ease with a more experienced consultant. Definitely ask your mid wife how you can see another consultant. And just tell them I want a c section, end of.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: