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Interferring opinions!!!

(5 Posts)
bambi07 Mon 02-Feb-15 17:45:33

I apologise for the rant but need to do it somewhere!

I have posted before about my hellish MIL, since then she has been much better but is starting to step up the irratating behaviour again.

MY mum is my MW up unitl my actual birth which apparantly is a lie because shes not allowed to be according to MIL!

We have offered her the option to come to any of our scans but she has always said they are horrible and she doesnt want to come, my mum has been to them all. Today she decided she was coming (last minute making us late) but then was furious that my mum was going to be there, my mum was not coming in for the scan but came to the consultant appoinment after as I wanted her there.

Apparently my mum looks at her like she's s**t and is always really rude to her, which is total crap. It is ridiculus that my mum is at our house so much (she comes round if im worried about anything to listen to the baby etc), even though I live next door to MIL.

Now Iv just been told how selfish I am being for having the baby at my mums house "it isnt about you, the baby is the most important thing and homebirths are not safe!". Im being ridiculus apparently and only doing it because it's what my mum wants.

She is making feel sick with rage and my OH cant understand why I'm so pissed off, Im 37 weeks on Wednesday and have tried to shut her out during the pregnancy to avoid the stress and she has been on good behaviour, so I have tried to make her feel included but that has bitten me in the arse yet again. angry

Not sure what Im hoping to achieve from this post just need to swear and rant and curious if anyone else has any stories of nightmare in laws and how you handled them?

4hayters Mon 02-Feb-15 17:56:01

My Mil doesn't seem as bad as yours although probably because she doesn't leave her house, so I can always walk away! I was told by my mil that home births weren't safe and it was irresponsible as the hospital was so far away etc etc. I told her that if she didn't have anything nice to say then please not to bother. It was my body, my baby and I'm not putting it at unnecessary risk. She is good as she does but out.
In my experience the home is the best place for a baby to be born, first was at hospital as they said I need to be induced as baby small (6lb 14oz so not exactly) home births perfect.
It is your life and you know what is best for you and your baby. Stick to your guns and tell her to leave you alone.
I am fortunate that my partner knows exactly why I'm getting annoyed and sticks up for me.
Good luck x

Cornberry Mon 02-Feb-15 18:08:51

Oh my goodness she sounds like a nightmare. Perhaps you could try and get your partner on side? Sit him down and explain how she's making what should be a wonderful time difficult and you need his support? Thn one oF you needs to assertively but nicely explain that she needs to understand the limits of what she can express as she is upsetting you. If I were you I think I would make a bit of a scene otherwise. You have to be heard here.

rosedavo Mon 02-Feb-15 18:09:08

At the end of the day as long as you and your midwife/doctor is happy with any discisions you make then thats what matters. My mil is a nightmare too - overbearing and oppionated and doesnt respect my opinion at all!

bambi07 Mon 02-Feb-15 19:20:48

Thank you for your replies, I am beginning to calm down.
I am going to talk to my OH when I know I can express myself without getting mad. I am going to ask OH to speak to his mum so I can avoid the stress and I plan to put some distance between us for a while. She is very immature and unreasonable and I am trying for a calm and natural birth if possible, so minus the annoying and unwanted opinions! Baby is wiggling and cheering me up smile xx

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