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(36 Posts)
Ads99 Sun 01-Feb-15 10:09:01

I'm 14 weeks pregnant and finding it really hard to give up smoking completely. A friend told me the stress associated with giving up is far worse than a social cigarette here and there. Anyone got any advice on giving up or the risks please.

AuntieStella Sun 01-Feb-15 10:19:38

You really do need to do everything you can to give up.

The stress of giving up really doesn't have an effect comparable to smoking.

Do you have friends who have successfully given up who might be more supportive? Or have you asked MW about local smoking cessation services?

fattymcfatfat Sun 01-Feb-15 10:23:56

I started using an e cig. Still not recommended but they would rather that than doing nothing about it as I found it difficult to go cold turkey and smoked throughout my pregnancies with my other two (I did cut down). Im actually getting rid of my e cig once the liquid I have left runs out as I dont really use it anymore!

PacificDogwood Sun 01-Feb-15 10:27:45

There is NO evidence that stress makes a significant difference to the outcome of a pregnancy, whereas there is lots of evidence about how harmful smoking can be.

Having said that, every cigarette you DON'T smoke is an achievement smile

What help have you had or sought out to help you quit?
Have you spoken to your MW about how hard you are finding it?
There's lots of help out there - don't beat yourself up if it takes several attempts to stop (and say stopped!); you can do it.

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat Sun 01-Feb-15 10:28:21

No, it's an old fashioned fallacy that the stress of stopping smoking is worse for your baby than the occasional cigarette. Every cigarette you smoke denies your baby oxygen and puts strain on their heart. Don't mean to sound harsh, just being honest. Your midwifery team will be able to put you in touch with a specialist smoking cessation midwife who will give you as much help as possible to stop for both your sake and your baby's. Good luck, I know from experience how hard it is.

PacificDogwood Sun 01-Feb-15 10:29:33

Can I ask: is your friend a smoker who struggled to give up in pregnancy?
It sounds to me like she is projecting tbh.

seaoflove Sun 01-Feb-15 10:29:49

A friend told me the stress associated with giving up is far worse than a social cigarette here and there.

That's a lie people tell themselves to justify carrying on.

Speak to your midwife - there's a lot of smoking cessation support out there.

ThinkIveBeenHacked Sun 01-Feb-15 10:30:47

Not smoking and having the stress of it is infinitley better than no stress but still smoking.

Your baby will not grow as big and strong in the womb as it would if you werent smoking.

Suck it up and chuck the cigarettes out. You are a mother to be. Time to put the baby first.

FoxHugs Sun 01-Feb-15 10:35:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PoshPenny Sun 01-Feb-15 10:45:00

OK I am sticking my neck out here. I couldn't give up during my two pregnancies 20 odd years ago. I cut down to 10 a day of the weakest silk cut I could get. Not ideal I know, but I tried... I smoked 20 plus a day before. The first was 8lbs, the second 8lb 4 oz. Both girls. Both have always been in the rudest health, now 19 and 20. If you can't, you can't. I did give up all alcohol though. Ironically it is 5 years tomorrow since I did manage to give up smoking.

PlentyOfPubeGardens Sun 01-Feb-15 10:48:39

Hi Ads, congratulations! flowers

Your MW should be referring you for specialist stop smoking services. They can prescribe NRT and provide tailored support. Hassle her if she hasn't referred you, they're supposed to refer all pg smokers and it really does increase your chances of quitting.

If you still get nowhere (it does happen) you can refer yourself. Info here

The effects of smoking in PG are cumulative, meaning that the fewer you smoke the better and it's never too late to quit - even in the last few weeks quitting can make a difference. The thing is though, if you are still smoking a few you're not really avoiding of the stress of quitting, you're just prolonging it (unless you only normally smoke a few social fags but if that was the case I doubt you'd be struggling so much).

Ecigs are not recommended because they are not medicinally licenced (for complicated political and financial reasons). They are still far far safer than smoking but for peace of mind I'd say try the NHS support route first.

Good luck!

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat Sun 01-Feb-15 10:54:47

Afraid Penny your anecdote doesn't really mean anything in the grand scale of things. Just because your daughters were lucky enough to avoid health complications caused by your inability to put their well being before your 'need', doesn't detract from the fact that smoking regularly causes long term health problems, low birth weight, premature birth and increase in stillbirth and incidence of SIDS. The op needs to seek the help that is available to stop smoking and no amount of anecdotes will prove otherwise.

FoxHugs Sun 01-Feb-15 10:55:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fanfeckintastic Sun 01-Feb-15 10:55:44

I really feel for you OP.

Ecigs are far far safer. When I was pregnant with DD my mother was dying of lung cancer and still smoking (don't blame her to be honest as she was given 6 months) but she lived in a small apartment and I spent a lot of time around her smoking. At my last scan the doctor asked if I smoked because my placenta was that of a smokers. I didn't even live with DM and I worked full time too but still the passive smoke had caused damage. This isn't to make you feel guilty but just to show how dangerous even the odd one is for an unborn child.

magpieginglebells Sun 01-Feb-15 11:08:08

OP- please access help, there is plenty out there via your midwife. Babies with mothers who smoke are at higher risk of stillbirth and sids so it's really important to give up.

yummymango Sun 01-Feb-15 11:28:16

Women who smoke during pregnancy are putting their baby at risk of many things as said above, including asthma. I have lived with asthma and it's not something I would risk giving to my children. It can be life threatening, many hospital visits and stays and even when it's controlled it means drugs for life which can have side effects. I know how hard it is to give up - but there is a lot of support out there.

ThinkIveBeenHacked Sun 01-Feb-15 12:14:32

OP have you read the advice on smoking and newborns - changing clothes and waiting a set time before holding them again. You going to do all that? Leave your baby indoors alone while you pop outside at regular intervals to smoke?

Quitting during pregnancy is the right thing to do.

Brummiegirl15 Sun 01-Feb-15 12:34:48

I'm going to sound harsh here without meaning to.

I've just had my 3rd miscarriage - I have no kids yet, and I'm grieving for my 3rd lost baby.

Your baby has the chance to be healthy but you are carrying on with smoking and that will harm your beautiful baby. Whatever Penny might say of how her dc's were ok, smoking during pregnancy will harm your baby.

I did every thing I was supposed to do, and still mine didn't survive.

Please please please, for the sake of your unborn child speak to your midwife about the help and support you can get.. It is out there and it will make a huge difference.

Yes it will be hard, And to be honest, the same way I'm going to have to suck it up grieving for my 3rd loss during the week of my first due date, you are going to gave to suck it up (pardon the pun) of getting through the cravings.

If saying this makes me a bitter bitch then so be it. But your baby would be here and healthy, my 3 aren't.

Soapbox rant over

OhMjh Sun 01-Feb-15 12:37:17

OP, you don't need to be made to feel any more guilty than I'm sure you already feel. It's a known fact smoking is bad, but you need some guidance, not to be bombarded with all of the risks associated with smoking which, again, I'm sure you already know.

I'm another one who will admit I'm a former smoker - not a heavy one, no more than 8 a day. I will admit that i smoked the odd few during my pregnancy, mainly related to stresses I encountered ( cheating partner, lost my job), but every one I smoked, the guilt outweighed that few moments of 'relief'.

It is hard, even when your whit pregnant, but it is worth it. It isn't a question of risking it, because you'd kick yourself if anything happened to that baby. As a previous poster said, every one you don't smoke is a plus. Instead of going cold turkey, cut down, and down until you just stop.

Macey78 Sun 01-Feb-15 12:58:34

I went to see a hypnotherapist as soon as I found out I was pregnant. It worked a treat for me. Don't get me wrong still have the odd fly by thought oh I could really do with a fag but never act on it.

gamerchick Sun 01-Feb-15 13:08:26

There used to be a smudge of truth about the stress being worse but you would have to be more or less a chain smoker and it doesn't apply now really with all the alternatives to smoking there are out there.

You don't have to smoke to get a nicotine fix.

snapple Sun 01-Feb-15 13:21:09

So sorry for your losses brummigirl flowers

Op I was very stressed during both my pregnancies but do not smoke. My babies were thankfully heathy.

My mil smoked and both her children were ill.,the asthma of my bil was so chronic and he had asthma since being a young baby. She did eventually give up thankfully but it was very hard for her. I am asthmatic and I can not tell you how awful I find smoking when I am out and about. But I understand that it is an addiction.

Please give up. Seek all the support you need. Do it for yourself and your baby. Good luck!

Horseradishes Sun 01-Feb-15 13:51:17

It's time to quit. Every time that you want a cigarette, visualise the poisons going to your baby, that incentivised my friend to quit.

Rumplestrumpet Sun 01-Feb-15 15:30:17

You have my sympathy OP, I can imagine how distressing this is for you. I was a 20 a day smoker for over 10 years and quit overnight and never looked back. I never even had a craving and now, 9 years on, I find it hard to believe that cigarettes were such a central part of my life for so long.
I used the Allen Carr "Easyway to quit smoking" book and it was like a revelation ! I can't recommend it strongly enough. It costs about the same as a packet of fags, so hardly a difficult investment. I know it has worked for thousands and thousands of people around the world. Just go into it with an open mind, follow all the steps in the book and keep an open mind.
Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy !

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Sun 01-Feb-15 15:34:11

The stress argument is bollocks. Giving up nicotine is physiologically negligible, it's only psychologically difficult. By which I mean you will be irritated and ratty but your baby will be unaffected when you quit. However, smoking is absolutely, categorically damaging for your child.

If this helps - the association between cot death and maternal smoking is significant. Imagine going through 9 months of pregnancy and birth just for your baby to die in her sleep, just because you didn't give up fags. Not a pretty thought.
I recommend the Allen carr easyway book, it works and it's totally painless.

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