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hospital at it again! close to snapping :(

(20 Posts)
xShellyx Tue 27-Jan-15 08:54:12

After being diagnosed with GD Iv had to have another growth scan etc, the woman doing the scan doesn't see anything wrong, baby isnt too big compared to alot.

Skin is so sore, feels like it's ripping so badly I can't stand, be touched on my bump, the scans are agonising.

I cant walk due to spd, my partner takes me everywhere and I have a daughter doing mornings in school.

I was told my last appointment would be sorting a date for induction, the 'consultant' marched over to me, pushed on my bump, brought tears to my eyes andsaid 'her bump isn't hard enough, she's being left till full term, want to see her next week, this day at 8am'

Didn't talk to me, didn't care for my spd, bump pain, daily struggles, mental health, nothing. When I explained I cant come back on that particular day due to OH not allowed to book any days off next week, daughter being at school, no family to bring me or collect her, too much agony to catch the 3 busses and get there ontime. His reply ? 'well, I'm afraid that's not my problem it's something your going to have to deal with. see you next week'

I pointed out the letter in my notes from midwife basically pushing for my induction and he then said 'midwives don't have a clue what they are talking about, that's why they don't have the power to make these decisions. I will see you next week, goodbye '

I was left in tears, I'm being told I have to travel there once, maybe twice a week for the next 6 weeks and it's impossible from a mobility / practical way. .

With regards to diabetes, my levels aren't reaching past 5.5 even after high carb foods or sugary foods. My OH has grown up around diabetics and he isn't convincedI have it and maybe iv been misdiagnosed.

Iv had appointments cancelled and rearranged without my knowledge until iv missed this unknown new appointment or turned up and told its been cancelled. Losing of my documents, forgetting treatments, forgetting I'm actually there...

Iv had enough. Is there anything my midwife can do to help? They want me back next week for ONE blood test but told waiting times can reach hours. Is it not something my midwife can do and send to them?

blackwidow74 Tue 27-Jan-15 09:01:24

Can't see why your midwife can't do the test or your gp ... defo give her a call and see what she says smile sorry to hear you are having such a crappy time x

xShellyx Tue 27-Jan-15 09:06:13

I asked the hospital and they said it wouldn't be possible and it has to be done by their team. Iv had bloods done and sent to hospital in the past before being pregnant.

Going to ring my mw later for abit of an emotional break down I think!

Lottiedoubtie Tue 27-Jan-15 09:09:25

Is there another hospital? Can you switch?

If not, contact PALs it should be possible to switch consultants. It will still be inconvenient but hopefully the consultant will be less rude about it!

Is there a senior midwife at the hospital? They may be able to offer support too.

xShellyx Tue 27-Jan-15 09:20:14

The senior midwife backed him up saying hundreds of pregnant woman have to deal with this and it's just unfortunate. I litterally can't walk! Theyv been me walking God knows how slow, nearly crying from.the pain.

Every evening I cry because of the pain and iv just had enough. Just spoke to my mw and she's said it may be too late to change hospitals but she will see what can be done in regards to cutting some appointments by going to her for blood tests but it's something she will need to discuss with the hospital.

I just feel like I'm wasting my time going there. My sugar levels aren't even high - decided to drink some full fat coke, chocolate and fruit yesterday to see if it would have an effect, tested when told after meals and it was only 5.8!!

Trunkisareshite Tue 27-Jan-15 09:23:24

Contact PALS.

I'd find another hospital as well but not without telling your current one why.

Tossers.

comeagainforbigfudge Tue 27-Jan-15 10:04:23

Oh I'm so sorry this is happening. Sounds awful.

I would be straight to MW to tell her your woes. If there's a hospital you can change to then you need to find out soon.

Your consultant sounds like he was on a massive power trip to me. I would complain to pals but also a letter/email to head of hospital and the head of ob-gyn if you can find out. Because I bet if any of them (or their wives) wouldn't be getting that kind of care. Who gives a shit if hundreds of other women have to deal with this. You not asking about them. your midwife has recommended it. (I woke up in a bad mood, can you tell?).

I would push for MW or GP to do any blood work. It's bullshit that it can't be done elsewhere. If your MW is worth her salt she can find out the tests needing done and do them.

Hope you get to speak to MW and she is top-notch and goes kick up a stink on your behalf

flowers

Primaryteach87 Tue 27-Jan-15 10:10:47

That's totally unacceptable. Mental health in pregnancy is meant to be a high priority and the way he behaved is just showing contempt for you. Awful. I actually don't say this. Very often but you need to make a formal complaint. He needs a proper tellibg off to realise we aren't in the 1950s.

xShellyx Tue 27-Jan-15 10:38:32

Thank you so much ladies. Midwife said she's only in for the morning today and off till Friday but she's going to try her best as she is more than happy to even come to my house to take bloods but it's weather the hospital will allow it. You know, as the consultant has already said mw's don't know anything!

Iv had nothing but problems at this place, they started off fantastic, but as I needed more appointments they got rediculous. As said, nurses just cancelling my appointments without telling me - a little confusing when I get a call asking where I am because the patient (me) changed the appointment... And when I couldn't make one last week for my diabetic specialist, I was told im being extremely awkward and making her workload even heavier and its making her schedule harder.

They all have an awful attitude there.

Problems I tried to discuss yesterday, which is why I had an appointment to see him - I'm coming off strong prozac based antidepressants, which is hard enough, Iv been off work since week 13 with crippling spd which no one will help with - still waiting for a physio appointment. I'm carrying extra fluid, skin is agonising, I cant even touch my bump in the shower without Crying out in pain, my partner helps me walk, get to places, he lifts me out the bath and bed, helps me off the sofa and out the car. I'm 25 and I find it all humiliating.

When trying to talk to him he didn't even look at me, and thats when he said its not his problem. I was sat crying from stress, I just want someone to help me. I was told I could be induced asap, and by the scientific test of poking my bump after I said please be gentle, he wasnt, apparently it's not hard enough, my bump is pretty rock solid but apparently has a slight touch of movement when pressed hard.

My partner had a face of thunder, and he never usually says anything but even he tried to explain what it's like to live with me, how it breaks his heart to see pregnancy crippling me like this, how he's exhausted after working 60hours a week, coming home and doing all housework, looking after our daughter and even fits in the school runs (takes half hour from work to do so) and I was an active, energetic woman before this.

He was told its life and this is what happens sometimes.

When diagnosed with diabetes, the woman on the phone told me it was pre-existing type one and to cut out sugar completely, just don't eat sugar, don't consume lactose, dont eat fruit... Later I found out it's impossible to tell if it's pre-existing, andthey wouldn't be allowed to tell me over the phone and the advice given was completely out of order. The woman who I saw about it was probably the nicest woman I saw yesterday, and the nurse who has taken my bloods so often I know her by first name, where she lives and what she gets upto at the weekends.

I'm so Sorru to bang on. I'm so stressed and once I start ranting about the place, I just cant stop!

xShellyx Tue 27-Jan-15 10:49:30

I want to make a point of saying I'm a woman of a slim build and its purely bump and spd causing me from.needing all this help.

As well as coming off antidepressants, which iv been on since 16, with only lowering my dose in early pregnancy and going back to a high dose, im also stuck with sugar cravings - sounds silly I know. But sugary foods especially fruit played a huge part of my diet. It's getting easier though but when all piled together it plays a part in my emotions

Zahrah5 Tue 27-Jan-15 10:50:33

the doctor was definitelly rude

but as far as travel, can't you just take a taxi to the hospital?

xShellyx Tue 27-Jan-15 10:55:17

It's the whole daughter being in school, mornings only. I could take her but I can't keep getting up and running after her, and I know she will get so fed up even if I take things to keep her entertsined, she can play up big time sometimes and she knows I cant run after her so it's like she pushes me all the more. I have no one who is able to have her either

Giantbabymama Tue 27-Jan-15 11:14:50

How many weeks are you? I would definitely change hospitals if there is one that's convenient. Your consultant sounds like one of those who can't cope with his authority being questioned. If there is a good reason not to be induced yet he needs to explain properly not just tell you to lump it.

I am abroad so the system is different but i changed hospitals because my doc was putting pressure on for early intervention without being clear why, then there were cancelled or lost appointments, staff not bothering to read my notes or tell me about problematic test results, it was all way too stressful. Changing was the best possible decision. I think sometimes one not very nice person at a hospital infects a whole team with bad attitude.

Your midwife sounds like a good egg. Can she help make alternative arrangements to see someone else?

babyblabber Tue 27-Jan-15 11:34:00

Who told you you could be induced asap?

You mentioned in your first post that you may have to go for appointments for 6 more weeks so I'm guessing you're around 34 weeks. I don't think they would ever induce you that early due to diabetes or SPD. It sounds like you are having a terrible time and being treated really badly but I don't think you should hold out much hope for such an early induction.

As for appointments I know it's expensive but could you pay for someone to mind your DD and get taxis? Or try to arrange all the appointments for while she is at school? Do you have any family/friends who could drive you/mind her?

Re the spd could you see a Physio privately? Again it costs money but you seem to really need it so it might be worth it. Even just one appointment might make a huge difference to you.

Defo push midwife to see if she can do your bloods etc. can't see why she couldn't.

OhMjh Tue 27-Jan-15 12:25:14

The earliest they would induce unless there was a threat to the baby is 37 weeks as anything before that is premature and baby hasn't finished developing properly, especially if your dates are off.

Unfortunately, as long as the baby is okay, they don't care too much how uncomfortable the mother is. I'm speaking from experience here - my DD fractured ribs from all her kicking to the point that I couldn't walk/sit/eat/sleep without being in agony, and every Braxton hicks I had compressed my ribs to go point I heard them cracking. My midwife saw the pain I was in and pushed for early induction on my due date but they refused, and I went to 40+6 before she came out, with legs and feet off the centile. She's now a lovely 8 week old but she is the longest baby my GP and HV have ever seen, and given I'm 5ft 2, it's a wonder I managed to physically carry her for so long.

By all means, push for a Consultant and hospital change! I think the way you have been treated is appalling and they should have been far more compassionate with you, but don't expect a change to mean they'll induce you early as from what I can tell, you're only about 34 weeks.

xShellyx Tue 27-Jan-15 12:25:27

The hospital is almost an hours drive away, so during school times as its just mornings she goes isn't possible. Never thought about a child minder, it's something iv never really needed.

All I was asking from them is an appointment more suitable around my other half and in the afternoon, he finishes work at around 2 most days so I don't see why it's such an issue and I'd 've able to make every appointment needed.

I wasn't expecting a mega early induction, I was hoping for around 38week mark, I don't know how much longer I can cope. Tried some house work today but had to walk hunched over so not to stretch belly skin.

Private physio is a good idea, it's just getting the money for it and finding somewhere to go, iv never gone privately anywhere but I may just look into at least one appointment and hopefully get some better 'self help' advice to carry on with at home etc.

xShellyx Tue 27-Jan-15 12:34:27

And I didn't expect them to treat me like a vip, but I wanted to see consultant to try and get some help with issues. Even some advice to make my life a little easier, I thought that's what they were there for.

I can only hope my appointments can be reduced by having the tests done by my midwife.

It's just really getting me down, it breaks my heart that me and my daughter cant run around like we did, trips to the park are a distand memory and I cant even pick her up. Her dad has to help her in the bath because it's to much strain.

Feeling incredibly selfish, we wanted a second, and I never had problems with my daughter, even the birth was great. I feel like someone's up there saying 'well... You would want another' I felt selfish becoming pregnant because I suddenly thought it wouldn't be fair on daughter, now I really feel bad because the pregnancy has taken so much from us.

Sorry if I sound rediculous sad

onthematleavecountdown Tue 27-Jan-15 13:23:11

I've nothing to say except omg. I'm so sorry your being messed around.

comeagainforbigfudge Tue 27-Jan-15 14:09:31

Don't for one second think you should be treated in this way. Really we should all be treated as VIPs. There's no excuse for shoddy behaviour from consultants.

As for how your feeling, I feel like that a lot as well. But our bodies are being tested to the utter limit. Hormones rampantly messing up our heads.

You're sore, tired, feeling bad about your girl and how much your DH has to do. You need to stop. Stand/sit still for a few minutes. Feet up, cup of tea, have a cry if you need to.

Then you need to take stock. Write your complaints out in order of annoyance. But also write out what you are looking forward to when baby gets here. Remind yourself why you wanted no.2.

(Oh and know someone who has had 5 kids and her last two she was on crutches from very early on. She would have another in a shot if she could!!)

You will recover from this. Your daughter will soon forget everything once baby is here.

Really wish I knew you in RL so could come round and give you a huge hug (and bring biscuits for your cuppa grin)

comeagainforbigfudge Tue 27-Jan-15 14:10:56

Oh when I say stop. I mean that literally. As in "freeze".

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