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petrified!

(21 Posts)
hullabaloo234 Fri 23-Jan-15 07:33:38

Hello all

I thought I was doing much better at relaxing in this pregancy but no, clearly I'm not! I had a MC on 1st Sept and fell pregnant again 3 weeks later so currently 19+5. I spent the first 12 weeks terrified it would happen again, but after my dating scan and horrendous morning sickness I started feeling more confident that things would be ok this time.
However, it's my 20 week scan on Monday and I am terrified again. I've not really been sleeping, keep thinking about all the things that could be wrong and I'm driving myself mad sad I have a 7 year old DD and I look back at how arrogant I was,never thinking for a second that anything could go wrong and long to feel that way again.

Can anyone reassure me with stats etc of how often very serious anomalies are discovered at 20 weeks and, frankly, tell me to get a grip?!

I can't talk to my partner about how stressed I am feeling, having to put on a brave face as he is the type to worry terribly if he thinks I am, and I don't want to project my anxieties onto him.

Thank you in advance for your help xx

blackwidow74 Fri 23-Jan-15 07:52:31

There is absolutely no reason every thing won't be okay ... but like you my anxiety has been through the roof so I sympathise!
I don't know that statistics will help you much ... and Dr Google can put the frighteners up the toughest of cookies ... just try and distract yourself until the scan and keep a positive frame of mind ... easier said than done but it's healthier all round for you not to be stressing out smile

hullabaloo234 Fri 23-Jan-15 08:02:42

Ahh blackwidow I'm sorry to hear ypur suffering anxiety too. Have you had your scan? I know logically there is no reason for it to not be ok, but I can't seem to stop stressing and imagining all kinds of worst possible scenarios. On one hand I just want to get it done and know, on the other I want to pretend it's not happening! So glad now I booked the first appointment of the day so at least I won't have all day Monday to wait and work myself up.
I hope you and your baby are doing well, thank you for taking the time to reply xx

blackwidow74 Fri 23-Jan-15 18:03:39

I've had several scans since 6 weeks ... my dating scan and anomaly a an but also booked private scans in between smile it was the only way I could stay reasonable sane! I have a scan next week (28 week growth scan) and another at 36 weeks due to previous problems but all is well so far!! Now my main anxiety comes on the days little lady decides to be quiet and turn in such a way that I don't feel all her movements!! We've been for monitoring once in the last week but all was good ... today is another quiet day but I am seeing movement when not feeling it by placing my phone on my bump and she wriggles underneath it smile

If it's any help I had the same fears before every scan ... was sure something would be wrong ... thankfully I get a reassuring kick in the butt from the inside to rein me in smile good luck Monday and let me know how you go ... mine is Friday at 10.30 smile x

CommanderShepard Fri 23-Jan-15 18:06:12

Come over to the posifrickintivity thread - loads of us in the same boat. We totally get it.

Morganlove Fri 23-Jan-15 18:28:58

Oh, I am just the same! 20wk scan on Tues and petrified things won't be ok. Think I've been feeling the odd flutter but not sure, that's making me more worried as I've felt no definate movements - but is it perhaps still a bit early for your first? So many worries, and I'm sure if all's ok on Tues these worries will be replaced with new ones!

sianihedgehog Sat 24-Jan-15 08:08:32

Each year, 700,000 women in the UK get pregnant and only 1800 have terminations because of foetal abnormalities. Of those, a lot are for chromosomal abnormalities that are found well before the 20 week scan. You are vastly more likely to see a healthy baby than anything else. Also, even if you DO see an anomaly, it's very unlikely to be severe. You are much more likely to see a twisted foot (which can be corrected with a brace before baby starts walking) than a severe problem.

If you want some basic stats, here's a report on studies on the outcome of foetal abnormality screening.
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK51878/table/ch9.t1/?report=objectonly
I think it's important to remember when looking at those numbers that the VAST majority of those abnormalities are going to be quite minor, and don't mean that your baby will be terribly ill, or permanently disabled. they are things like a cleft lip, or a twisted foot, not awful life changing things!

Happilymarried155 Sat 24-Jan-15 08:58:32

What your feeling is perfectly normal. I had fertility treatment, a miscarriage and more fertility treatment and the week before each scan I was a mess. I convinced myself that something would be wrong! It hasn't! I've had a wonderful pregnancy and an nearly 38 weeks-can't believe we are actually going to have a baby soon!!

Try not too be to hard on yourself, it's so natural to be worried and nervous, generally everything is ok at the 20 week scan. Hope it goes well and you can start to enjoy your pregnancy xxx

hullabaloo234 Sun 25-Jan-15 10:07:12

Thank you all so much for your words of reassurance and support, it really does mean a lot! went out for the day with my DP and DD yesterday to keep busy and take my mind off it which was good, going to do the same again today hopefully.
blackwidow- I will be keeping everything crossed for you that all is well and ypu have a great experienceon Friday! Please do let us know how you get on!flowers
Morganlove- I remember with my first I didn't feel discernable,regular movement until 21/22 weeks so perfectly normal, try not to worry (although I know it's easier said than done and given the nature of this thread I sound a total hypocrite lol!) The stats from sian are reassuring, the odds are in our favourfor everythingto be ok. Will be thinking of you Tuesdayflowers
happilymarried- oh I'm so pleased for you that everything is going well! Not long to go now and you will have your beautiful baby in your arms smile
Thank you again everyone, it really has beena comfort reading your comments xxx

Morganlove Sun 25-Jan-15 15:25:17

Best of luck to those with scans tomorrow - my fingers will be crossed for you. Looking forward to some happy and relived updates from you! x

blackwidow74 Sun 25-Jan-15 20:15:24

Best of luck for tomorrow smile x

hullabaloo234 Sun 25-Jan-15 21:43:52

Thank you! I will let you know how I get on xx

hullabaloo234 Mon 26-Jan-15 13:01:56

So I've had my scan, baby is healthy, growing perfectly and a little girl!smile so so so happy and relieved! Feel like I can finally relax and enjoy my pregancy now. Planning a big baby shopping spree for the weekend with DP. he's got a grin as big as mine stuck to his face too smile Thank you again all. Blackwidow you'll be feeling as happy as I am Friday I just know it xxx

blackwidow74 Mon 26-Jan-15 16:49:27

Awwww bless ya and what fab news on being Team Pink smile my little lady has been busting some grooves today just to remind me all is okay in there!! Happy shopping smile all thats pink and fluffy x

hullabaloo234 Mon 26-Jan-15 18:22:24

Yes team pink haha! such a shame I didn't keep any of DD1's stuff, but will be so much fun replacing everythingwink please do let me know how you get on Friday xx

blackwidow74 Mon 26-Jan-15 21:44:49

I surely will ... and I had a huge delivery of nearly new hand me downs today so my shopping spree has been postponed lol ... I won't be needing to buy anything below 3-6 months!! All my daughters stuff is sat in the loft ruined by a 7 year leak and damp so was handy most of those around me have had girls in last year!! X

hullabaloo234 Mon 26-Jan-15 22:07:31

Oh no! But how nice of your friends to pass their bits on for you! Going to order my bednest tomorrow and then get the pram and make a start on the rest on Saturday smile

blackwidow74 Wed 28-Jan-15 07:47:34

It starts to feel so much more real once baby things appear around you smile although if you are impatient like me you will just want baby here to go in it all grin x

hullabaloo234 Wed 28-Jan-15 13:39:03

Haha yes your do right it does! My DP has said I can splurge for the lot at the weekend if I want to so I really can't wait,I'm itching to get shopping haha! He's been reading up on the best prams and car seats etc bless him smile
morganlovehow did your scan go yesterday? Xx

blackwidow74 Fri 30-Jan-15 14:52:39

Had my 28 week growth scan and after a worrying day yesterday of reduced movement I'm happy to report all is well in there ... my little womb raider is approx 2.10lb and has big belly ... cord feed looks great and fluid levels are where they should be too! She's a lot more wriggly today and has gone head down ... now to wait til 32 weeks and see if she follows her big sisters antics and tries to arrive ahead of time! Next grow th scan at 36 weeks!!

hullabaloo234 Sat 31-Jan-15 09:44:24

Oh fantastic news I'm so pleased for you! So glad to hear she is ok. Fingers crossed she will stay put and not arrive early!smile have a lovely weekend xx

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