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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

sex and pregnancy

32 replies

Meplusyouequals4 · 18/01/2015 21:29

What's everyone's views?

If all is well in pregnancy and you don't get told not too, I don't see the problem with it.

A few oh DH's friends (male and female some who have kids) think it is completely disgusting.

mine on the other hand thunk it's okay up to a certain point (all have different opinions on when this is)

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Racheyg · 18/01/2015 21:35

I dont think i could last 9 months without sex. Why do they think its disgusting? how on earth are babies made? :) what does your DH think could you both go with out sex for atleast 9 months? make the most of it now because you will be knackered once little one is here :) x

Meplusyouequals4 · 18/01/2015 21:39

They just do they were disgusted by just the conversation.

I'm 36+4 with DC2 and there is no way we could have gone without it no way. my sex drive has always been high so it just wouldn't happen lol.

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JennyBlueWren · 18/01/2015 21:41

I don't have a high sex drive anyway so not champing at the bit for sex. DH was wanting as normal to start with but when I started getting bump and movement he went completely off except for once -when I guess he was really up for it!

HollyBen · 18/01/2015 21:45

Sex during pregnancy is some of the best i have had

Racheyg · 18/01/2015 21:46

I think I would have laughed if me and my friends had had this conversation. sorry didnt realise it was your second so you know how it is afterwards. I remember having sex after pregnancy felt weird but maybe i was confused we had to resort back to condoms :) (sorry if to crude) x

Meplusyouequals4 · 18/01/2015 22:08

rach DH was just talking (guy talking) with his mates at work about how sex and stuff me and him get up too (nothing strange or anything just naughty) and they were like "OMG she is pregnant you shouldn't be doing that" and "you just don't when their pregnant" a few of the women he works with then joined in saying he shouldn't volatile me in that way in my condition. he came home and was worried that he wasn't normal for wanting sex with me while I was pregnant I reassured him he was fine and there is no reason not too.

me and my friends had a right giggle having this conversation 6 of me and my friends are all pregnant (at different stages) I'm farthest along. its just funny how people are so different in opinions.

I had a section with DD and I'm having a section this time too. so I don't know if that makes a difference to the way it feels it was about 12 weeks after DD was born before we did it again as I was in too much pain.

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fattymcfatfat · 18/01/2015 22:13

Theres nothing wrong with it....I think they are strange for thinking there is.
I wont be having sex as im now single but jesus do I want it! Sorry tmi
I have a very high sex drive to and that gets worse during pregnancy and then to make that even worse some of the dreams I have!!!!!!

Meplusyouequals4 · 18/01/2015 22:17

fattymcfatfat I know I was shocked when DH came home and told me he is one of the youngest where he works so maybe it's a generation thing. Most of the people he works with besides a few at 20 plus years older.

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sebsmummy1 · 18/01/2015 22:19

In my first pregnancy we had sex all the way through, until DP went all weird at about 7 months. I think it was my belly moving and the realisation there was a little person the other side of my cervix.

With this pregnancy I don't want anything to do with him. I've had two miscarriages and am now old so feel this is my last chance to have another child. I am very happy to not have sex for 9 months, he said he is fine with it but I seem to get sexually harassed on a daily basis so I suspect he is not quite as ok with it as he makes out!!

sianihedgehog · 18/01/2015 22:22

I had no idea that people still thought that!!
Of course it's fine! What on earth do they think you do for 9 months, rattle one out discreetly while your OH is sleeping?

GinAndSonic · 18/01/2015 22:22

Pregnancy made me feel really sexy, the bigger my bump got the more i liked my body despite having spd and various complications. When we found a comfortable position it felt better too. I was more sensitive and i had lots of naughty dreams. I would have been gutted if my dh hadnt wanted to have sex.

applecore0317 · 18/01/2015 22:29

Not disgusting at all, if I could I woukd have happily, but because of bleeding early on was asked to abstain until after my 20 week scan which has been and gone, and now just have to wait until my consultant appointment on Wednesday and believe me, if I get the all ok I will be happily playing catch up :D

Racheyg · 18/01/2015 22:32

Me your poor husband. He must have been feeling bad all day before he got home to chat to you.

Meplusyouequals4 · 18/01/2015 22:40

I'm glad you all have the same idea as me it's very reassuring for DH. he was racheyg so much so he rang me from the car using hands free of course and we spoke the whole way home (45 minute drive) he couldn't understand why he was feeling the way he did and everyone was saying it was wrong. I just glad he now knows it's okay to want to.

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leanne963 · 18/01/2015 22:43

Sex is perfectly normal during pregnancy.

I m, however, have completely refrained from sex cause I have had spotting and horrible round ligament pain so it really is the last thing from my mind. Plus i have never had a high sex drive anyway. I do WANT to have sex but I know it will cause bleeding and I would be worried so there really is no point if I can't relax. DP is fantastic and really understanding, I'm very lucky.....

Gillian1980 · 18/01/2015 22:59

I think it's fine, not disgusting at all.

It's not been frequent in this first trimester as I feel so rough but I'm hoping that that whenever that passes I'll be more up for it.

EmmaOt · 18/01/2015 23:04

I'm overdue now and we only stopped having sex a few weeks ago cos everything was getting a little tender. We weren't having as much sex during pregnancy as when we were ttc but plenty anyway!

Makes me wonder if any of these work colleagues have children of their own!

EmmaOt · 18/01/2015 23:06

Sorry just seen that you said some of them do have kids- very odd! They sound like embarrassed teenagers!

fattymcfatfat · 18/01/2015 23:53

I cant see it being a generation thing as I had plenty of old ladies on buses telling me to have sex to move things along whenI was heavily pregnant with my dd!!! It was quite funny. I also had an aargument with a lady on a bus as I stood to ket her sit down and she refused to take my seat...she made the teenager behind get up! Old ladies are awesome haha. If people want to be judgemental let them if you want to have sex do it....what you get uo toin the bedroom is no ones business but yours and your oh.....hell have freaky fetish sex if thats your thing nothing to stop you! (Not saying it is....its definitely not for me but some people like it). Your oh will just have to keep quiet about it in future if their reaction makes him uncomfortable

CursiveLetters · 18/01/2015 23:56

If they want the kind of marriage where they don't have sex for 9 months PLUS the newborn time, go for it! Personally not what we're choosing.

Tranquilitybaby · 19/01/2015 00:22

It's totally normal don't worry, his workmates are the ones with "issues" for thinking it's disgusting.

Number3cometome · 19/01/2015 09:09

Disgusting?? See I have heard people say this too, and I really don't get it.
My best friend is 40+2 and her OH would not have sex with her from the moment he found out she was pregnant, she was fine with it (trying to convince me she was ok with it) until about 30 weeks when she was desperate!
Her and him did it last week (to try and bring on labour) but she said because she had left it so long she felt really uncomfortable and didn't enjoy it at all. She said she wishes she had persuaded him to do it more now.

Me and OH are fine, we usually have sex every day and I did warn him if he started all this 'Don't want to have sex because of the baby' rubbish I would disown him haha!

He just likes to be careful of the position so as not to squash the baby, but that's fine.

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Meplusyouequals4 · 19/01/2015 09:24

emma they do don't they It makes me laugh I know some of their wifes/girlfriends and they tell me this is true they refuse point blank from the moment they found out (guys are in their mid 20's to mid 30's)

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Meplusyouequals4 · 19/01/2015 09:27

fattymcfatfat he said he will. i know guys talk and he comes home telling me stories of what they get up to with their partners (which can be awkward as I know a lot of them) but I just don't get the issue with it. It's how you get pregnant in the first place lol

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Meplusyouequals4 · 19/01/2015 09:29

curvasive I know but they clearly do as they all have at least 2DC.

tranquillity he said he isn't going to listen to them about it any more

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