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When's the right time to tell people your pregnant(14 Posts)
When would be a safe time to tell people I'm 4 weeks and had 2 miscarriages be 4 this they were 18 months ago thanksx when did you tell ??
'Safe' is usually around 12 weeks after you have had your scan, but honestly it is completely up to you! Everyone is different! So sorry for your losses!!
Sorry for your losses.
I told before 12 weeks all three pregnancies (MMC pregnancy no.2 at 11 weeks) - but only those whose support I would need should it go wrong: both sets of parents, my best friend, my sister, employer.
Then after that we told the wider circle.
I think it's totally up to you. The odds of mc drop quite a bit at 12 weeks. I think it depends on what you would do if you had a mc.
I was showing at 8 weeks & the most people had guessed, but we're politely not saying anything! I decided that if I did have a mc, I'd probably tell quite a lot of people - I'm one if those annoying heart on their sleeve types that deals with thing by talking it through with the world! Plus a friend whose had many mc once said, "they were all my babies" which made me realise I'd want to acknowledge their existence even if it were painful.
But, it's totally up to you. (Congratulations btw!)
12 weeks is the norm I think, just after the scan. I told parents and sister at about 11 weeks, best friends at 15-16ish and then went public at about 30 weeks.
Told my parents and his straight away. Told my boss when asking for time off for MW appointment (when thought I was 7 weeks) and close colleagues a week later when I was late due to sickness. If I'd had a MC I'd have needed their support.
Announced generally after scan (actually only 10 weeks).
I am sorry for your losses. I think its a personal decision. In my last two, we told family and close friends straight away ish. This time around though, we are holding out for as long as we can hide it. My last baby was very prem, so ideally I want to get past 26weeks before telling. Though we will probably tell parents slightly earlier. All the best for a smooth pregnancyx
We told both sets of parents, my gran (only living grandparent) our sisters & their partners. I then told my boss about 5/6 weeks as I'd started to get bad sickness by then, my boss told her boss in the event my immediate boss wasn't in the office & I need to speak to someone else. I told one close pregnant friend at the start too as I wanted to know about appointments etc.
Then at 10 weeks a funny eventful thing happened & I had to reveal to a few more people at work I was preggy. & I told some close friends too due to funny event. Then everyone found out after 12 week scan as my husband shared the pic on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram
Personally, I wanted to wait until 12 weeks - we had 2 early, suspected MCs and I didn't want to tell anyone just in case.
DH persuaded me to tell our parents and siblings at 7 weeks - basically because, if anything went wrong, he felt that we would need a bit of support (or, at the very minimum, to just be left alone if that is what we wanted).
I'm now 32/40, and tbh I'm still in 2 minds about whether it was the right thing to do or not. As soon as my mum and DSis knew they had their hands all over my tum which irritated the fuck out of me (couldn't feel a baby - just my fat ) But then, we had to tell them sometime!
Other than family/close friends we've not broadcast anything - nothing on FB, not informed distant relatives (although I'm sure word has spread through the grapevine) - we've maybe only told a dozen or so people. I'm a bit nervous about saying anything to anyone until he/she arrives, and I'm feeling so antisocial at the moment that I don't particularly want to be in contact with the world and his wife.
But - horses for courses! Just tell people when you feel comfortable doing so - there is no right or wrong!
I think it's a personal decision - many people wait until after 12 weeks when the risk of miscarriage falls dramatically.
However, I do also know people who were told they were high risk for Down's, and so waited until after 20 weeks when they could do the fuller test.
They wanted to keep the option of not continuing the pregnancy without having to deal with people judging them.
I think it depends what the people you are telling are like. Pregnancy is loooooooong! If they are liable to annoy you and be on your case then hold off. Otherwise it's a long time to be hearing the same old shit week after week LOL.
I'm quite bristly and hormones have got to me. If I could've kept it a secret longer I would've but the no drinking thing was obvious.
I never announced mine so only family, friends and people who happened to see me or heard from another knew. I felt good about this - it gave me back a tiny bit of autonomy.
Only you can decide, it a very personal thing. If you need support perhaps tell a close family member or friend now, but why do you feel you need to tell people how? (Not flaming, just asking.)
I should add, after two losses myself, I'm very wary of yelling too many people even at 18 weeks. quite like keeping it to ourselves and just sharing with those closest to us. It's nobodies else's business x
I agree, it's horses for courses. Depends what situation you are in: if you're going to get people judging you, and responding negatively then it might be better to wait, then they have less time to be that way before the baby comes and they (hopefully) shut up!
But if you're going to get wall to wall congratulations and happiness, then you might feel more inclined to tell your news sooner.
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