Terrified of labour

[Bubba19alicia]

I'm only 7 weeks 3 days and I know I've got a long way to go, but I am already panicking an absolutely terrified at the prospect of labour :(

[TeaandHobnobs]

Have a look into hypnobirthing?

[CaptainMorgansMistress]

That's one of the reasons pregnancy is such a fantastic design - by the time you get to 40 weeks you're so fed up with being pregnant that labour doesn't seem so scary any more!

Now joking apart, of course it seems scary - it's something completely new you've never done before and nearly all of the childbirth stuff you will have seen / read in the media involve screaming women and lots of pain.

So the best thing you can do is get yourself on an antenatal course (NCT is good and NHS generally offer them too), do lots of reading and start getting the real facts.

Yes of course some people have v tough labours and births but very very many women have straightforward, hard work but hugely satisfying labours and deliveries.

[Bubba19alicia]

I haven't, not realy sure what is is? Heard some mums talking about it on here, but classes seem to be £100 a time and I haven't got money like that!:( so so scared!

[Annarose2014]

We're all terrified of it - until you get to 40 weeks and you just don't care anymore.

I have to say that epidurals are a godsend. I was hugely impressed with mine. I really didn't feel a whole lot after it was put in. So there's always that.

[Bubba19alicia]

I may talk to my midwife about the antenatal classes, I suffer with bipolar and personality disorder and have come off my medication so may be why I'm panicking web more

[Bubba19alicia]

Scared of epidurals because of the risk of paralysis?

[Annarose2014]

Go onto the Mental Health board here - there'll be lots of Mums who have been pregnant with MH issues. Pregnancy is a very triggering time so you will probably need more support, rather than less.

[Bubba19alicia]

Thank you, didn't realise there was a mental health board, will check it out now

[Annarose2014]

Bubba I'm a hospital nurse. I'm confident enough to have an epidural. You would be cutting off your nose to spite your face if you refused one because of that.

[Bubba19alicia]

Annarose you just hear so many horror story's, I know everyone's labour is individual though

[NickyEds]

NCT stands for National Childbirth Trust, it's a charity that gives help and support to parents. They run ante natal groups, helplines, bumps'n'babies groups and nearly new sales (among other things). I suppose on mn they're talked about in terms of the "nct classes". These are courses that you can take locally on aspects of labour, childbirth and bf etc. TBH people's experience of these seem to vary depending on the course leader. They are expensive and are sometimes best seen as a way to make friends. I didn't do them but I know an "nct group" and they meet up and do things with their babies.
NHS also do classes (or in our case class) and your mw will tell you about that when you're further along.
Try not to be scared. Is there any one thing in particular that frightens you (I know for me it was tearing)? If it's just the whole thing then I'd recommend something like Lazy Daisys yoga (cheaper than nct) and perhaps talking it over with your mw.

[Bubba19alicia]

AnnaRose I can't seem to find the mental health board?

[Bubba19alicia]

Thank you NickyEds I am definitely going to look into attending some air of class! I think what worries me the most is that I have a realy bad pain threshold, I nearly cry having a small 10 minute tattoo, and I have a tendency to panick, I'm just worries I'm not going to be able to cope! I know women do it everyday and when you fall pregnant it comes with the territory, but I'm just worried

[Bubba19alicia]

Meant some sort of class!

[NickyEds]

I had a 30 hour back to back labour with the synto drip and no epidural but no way could I have a tattoo!! I bet they well hurt. You also find that sometimes it's the women who profess mega high pain threshold that struggle and those who say they're wimps do fine- you just don't (and can't) know how you'll react.

[leanne963]

I think tattooing and labour are different types of pain. Cause I have quite a few large tattoos and yes it is painful but I just gritted my teeth and tried to get on with it. I think with labour you will be so ecstatic about meeting your little baby and also the pain is created by your body where as when someone is tattooing you that pain is inflicted by someone else and you rationally know you could get then to stop at any time, whereas with labour there is no stopping. I think you will be suprised at how strong you will be.
I haven't actually experienced labour so I am probably chatting crap but I think you will be stronger than you are giving yourself credit for!!

[snailsinlove]

If you're on a low income the NCT give massive discounts, we got 90% off so only paid £17.50 for the whole course for two of us! definitely worth asking, they were really worth doing and they really helped me feel more prepared, they are really nice people so don't be afraid to ask

[Bubba19alicia]

I think tattoos do bloody hurt! But I know women who have had tattoos and children and say they would pick that tattoo any day! D: and I hope so! Panicking is probably only gunna make it worse!

[Bubba19alicia]

Thank you for both of your advice Leanne and snailsinlove, I am on a low income (signed of sick due to my mental health and medication) and will definitely talk to the NCT about this :)

[leanne963]

Tattoos absolutely kill, so if you managed that then give yourself a pat on the back cause I know a lot of people who couldn't do that! Don't doubt yourself :) you will be so amazed at what your body can handle!! I wish you all the best! It is a scary time but women have been doing it for many many years :)

[BaronessBomburst]

Honestly, it's not nearly as bad as you think it's going to be. I would chose the labour over the rest of the pregnancy any day! And it's a funny sort of pain, very difficult to describe as it doesn't compare to 'normal' pain. It's not constant, it comes in waves. And you know that it's going to stop. When it really hurts, you know it's soon going to be over. And when it stops, it stops. Not like a burn or cut that goes on hurting for days.

[Zebrasinpyjamas]

It is natural to be scared about labour. Most people are. Also it seems people only like to talk about the more difficult births and then exaggerate until it seems like every one has a completely horrific experience. For a start, mine was quite quick despite requiring some interventions and while I wouldn't do it for fun every day, it wasn't too bad.

You have lots of time to do some research about what sort of birth/pain relief you would like. I changed my mind after doing nct so you might surprise yourself. .in the meantime see if you can find a way of doing some yoga or antenatal Pilates (good for strength which will also help you during labour as well as relaxing).

Also would it help to focus on more positive aspects like choosing a name?

[TeaandHobnobs]

Get yourself down your local library and see what books they have in the pregnancy section - Ina May's guide to childbirth, or any of the hypnobirthing books (Marie Mongan is the one I have). You don't necessarily need to go on a course - the idea is very much along the lines of yoga-type breathing (pregnancy yoga might be a good idea too, if you can find/afford a suitable class) and relaxation techniques. You are basically trying to relax / self-hypnotise yourself into turning off your conscious mind with its fears and worries, and allowing your body to subconsciously do what it needs to do. If you find a local mums group on Facebook, someone on there might have a book and CD they want to offload?

And I agree with Baroness that it is a transient thing - it comes to an end and results in a baby! Unlike the ache after a wisdom tooth removal - I know which I'd rather do again!

You've got a long time to prepare yourself - do some reading, arm yourself with knowledge, and see if you can make contact with the perinatal mental health team.

You can do it

[Cornberry]

When I am tempted to panic about the prospect I remind myself that since the beginning of humanity amost every single woman has done it at least once. When you go outside everyone you see is the result of a birth. Everyone you know was born and your mother and grandmother and mother did it, probably more than once. You can do this :)

[ch1134]

Ok, I've had my wisdom teeth out and had a baby and honestly, I'd have happily have agreed to all my teeth being pulled out to stop the labour pain. I was hugely unprepared as everyone told me it'd be ok. It wasn't. I think people should be honest. So one word: epidural!