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sex drive non-existant

(7 Posts)
beeecaaa Wed 14-Jan-15 10:17:53

Hi all,

I apologise in advance if this is TMI.

I posted a thread on here when I was 10 weeks pregnant asking if it's normal for my sex drive to go. I had a lot of responses telling me it was completely normal and I shouldn't worry.

I'm now 21 weeks pregnant and I still can't bear the thought of being touched sexually.

In the past 2 months, I've had sex only once. I hated every second of it. It was uncomfortable and painful (I didn't tell my partner this). I pretty much faked the whole thing and I was relieved when it was over.

I try to avoid going to bed the same time as my hubby because I don't want him to try it on with me.

it's not bothering me at all, I don't feel frustrated, I feel completely happy that I'm not having sex (unlike pre-pregnancy when I wanted it all the time!)

I do, however, know that it's bothering my partner.

I've not mentioned or explained anything to him, and he's not asked. I know he understands that the pregnancy is doing this and he's being very patient with me. But I feel terrible. I don't know wether he needs reassurance that it's definately not his fault. I don't know if we should talk about it or just let it be.

Once again, sorry for the TMI.


P.s. I should add, this is our first baby and neither of us knew what to expect.

beeecaaa Wed 14-Jan-15 10:20:24

I should also add that he's not put any pressure on me at all, but I feel as if I'm being unfair.

Do I just fake it again and do it for him? It was very uncomfortable last time!

OrangesJuicyOranges Wed 14-Jan-15 10:22:09

My sex drive has been pretty low all pregnancy too. Now I'm right at the end I feel more inclined but it's just too uncomfortable, so you're not alone there.

Could you try some non-penetrative stuff with your partner?

Bondy83 Wed 14-Jan-15 10:26:54

How about you do things just to pleasure him and say to him your happy to do this without the favour being returned so to speak if you don't want to be touched. This way he's still getting his needs met as they say and keeps you close but also mentally notch these up in your head for when you are feeling up to it so he can return the favour when you are feeling up to it again

berrypicking Wed 14-Jan-15 10:27:35

I think it's better to be honest and open about how you feel. It's only a temporary hormonal thing and totally normal. I felt like this for the first 12 weeks of pregnancy, want enjoying it and didnt mind not doing it, now I am the complete opposite and can't get enough! So you never know things could change later in the pregnancy.

berrypicking Wed 14-Jan-15 10:28:36

*wasn't enjoying

luckiestgirlintheworld Wed 14-Jan-15 11:41:42

Why don't you just talk to him about it? Explain you're in a low sex drive phase (he'll understand- you're pregnant) , but can we still cuddle / go to bed at the same time / whatever it is you do fancy?

Just talk about it- no good ignoring it. You're both thinking it so why not get it into the open?

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