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Has anyone ever kept a pregnancy secret from even DH until after 12 weeks?

(6 Posts)
mrspuddleduckie Mon 12-Jan-15 20:50:07

My DH has taken a long time to come round to DC3. He found my pregnancy with DC2 really hard and finds labour very emotionally tough. He is usually very relaxed, great dad and husband, caring and deals with any and all other problems without flinching. But pregnancy, birth and newborns send him into a spin. He mainly worries about medical problems, what could go wrong and how he's powerless to help if anything does go wrong.

Would it be a terrible idea to keep a pregnancy a secret until I've had a 12-week scan and relevant results and can reassure him with good news from the moment he finds out? Also then the pregnancy would only be 6 months long for him, which would in theory, be easier?

I ask now because I am 7DPO. This is potentially my third and I am so certain of a BFP next week, it all feels sooo familiar. I've had textbook implantation pains all day and spotting this evening. Obviously I need to wait a week to know if I am pregnant, but if I am I will need to have decided whether or not to tell DH now or not.

I would appreciate any opinions you may have - thanks smile

BananaPie Mon 12-Jan-15 21:01:33

It's your relationship and your dh, so hard for someone else to say whether this would be a good thing to do. However, it sounds like a terrible idea to me.

weeblueberry Mon 12-Jan-15 21:04:47

Do you mean you wouldn't tell him if you were pregnant and then something bad happened?

Because I can only understand your reasoning if the answer is yes but it's certainly not something I'd ever be able to keep from DP...

ThinkIveBeenHacked Mon 12-Jan-15 21:08:07

I wouldnt have been able to.even if I wanted to. The tiredness, vomiting, no booze etc was really prominent in those first few months and I needed dhs support.

It also feels incredibly deceitful to keep such big big news from him.

BikeRunSki Mon 12-Jan-15 21:09:46

I'd be very upset if DH kept somethibg of that calibre secret from me for several weeks. And what if something goes wrong in that time?

mrspuddleduckie Tue 13-Jan-15 12:56:11

OK, so it's a bad idea. I just wanted him to have an easier time of it for the last time round.

I didn't consider it to be deceitful, more protective. But I appreciate the comments and will be open with him as I certainly wouldn't want to be deceitful towards him.

This is why I like Mumsnet - I can think aloud on here, and wonderings and/or doubts are quickly set straight

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