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20 week twin scan... just curious. first pregnancy.

(20 Posts)
Rebecca1608 Sun 11-Jan-15 11:14:21

After finding out my twins are identical and sharing a placenta. I have to go to a different hospital (not local) and have scans every 2 weeks until I'm 24 weeks gone. I went last Tuesday (I'm only 15 weeks btw) had my first scan and really excitable after seeing my babies again.

A lady who I presume was a nurse handed me my notes back and I asked "because I'm coming here every 2 weeks do you think I'll find out the babies sex before 20 weeks" only to have her have a massive go at me and say "let me tell you that is not what your 20 week scan is about, it's about their vital organs, bone structures not gender if you find out it's a bonus but that's not what it's all about"

I left feeling pretty upset and after being put in my place just wanted to know.... Is it usually your 20 week scan they MIGHT tell me?! That scans being done in my hospital at home.

GotToBeInItToWinIt Sun 11-Jan-15 11:19:04

Yes it's usually the 20 week scan that they tell you, as that is the first opportunity they would get in a normal pregnancy when you're only scanned at 12 and 20 weeks. I don't think she should have spoken to you like that but she's probably fed up with people referring to it as the 'gender scan' or 'sexing scan' when it's purpose is to check for anomalies.

GotToBeInItToWinIt Sun 11-Jan-15 11:19:55

By the way I think private companies offer 'gender' scans from 16 weeks so they may be able to tell you earlier, depending on the sonographer/hospital policy etc.

Teeste Sun 11-Jan-15 11:20:50

Yes, AFAIK your 20 week scan is when they may be able to tell you with varying degrees of accuracy what sex your babies are. The nurse is technically correct, but being bloody harsh with you. Plenty of people are excited to find out what they're having!

Schoolaroundthecorner Sun 11-Jan-15 11:22:38

She was a narky cow wasn't she? Yes they can tell you at 20 weeks, hopefully the person doing the scan is nicer than she was.

Dottydadoo Sun 11-Jan-15 11:42:06

She was being narky and has obviously been doing her job so long that she's stopped seeing things from mum's point of view. Of course you'd be excited to know - that info will have a big impact on your life (albeit secondly to any medical issues) I'm expecting dc3 but this is my 5th pregnancy and I now wouldn't hold back in my response if I was 'put in my place' like that. It's not on to make you feel bad like that.

Rebecca1608 Sun 11-Jan-15 11:44:42

A right narky cow! She was horrid. Of course I know scans aren't all about finding out what you're having. I honestly don't mind I'm over the moon to just have two healthy little babies but the fact I'd just come out of a room where I had an actual consultant doing my scan and 3 people taking notes and hearing that everything seemed perfectly normal with my kids it was just a question. Hopefully I'll find out what I have then and if I don't, I don't. I'll keep buying white and cream lol. Thanks everyone.

JennyBlueWren Sun 11-Jan-15 14:09:20

Does your area tell you the gender? We can't find out on the NHS.

TheEagle Sun 11-Jan-15 14:16:02

Congrats!

I'm 22 weeks today with twins and we had our anatomy scan last Thursday. Before she stated scanning the midwife asked if we would like to find out the gender. We said no.

And then she went on and did all her checks.

Your HCP was being unnecessarily short with you and possibly taking out her frustration on you which isn't very fair. She was technically correct but could have said it in a nicer way.

Best of luck for the rest of your pregnancy smile

TheEagle Sun 11-Jan-15 14:16:44

Ps. I'm not in the UK if that's at all relevant! But I am in the public system in Ireland.

sleepybee Sun 11-Jan-15 14:17:07

We decided from the start not to find out. When we went for the 20 week anomaly scan there was no mention of the sex, we weren't asked if we wanted to know & I didn't have to tell them we don't want to know. It took while (and various movements, jumping etc) to get a look at the face so I'm assuming our baby may not have been happy for us trying to see the front bum bits. wink

Rebecca1608 Sun 11-Jan-15 17:07:58

Haha maybe not. Thankyou for the replies. I'm hoping I can find out. It's not a massive deal if I can't as like every else I just want my babies to be healthy. I just dread seeing her again and the hospital I have to go to isn't particularly nice either. I'd rather just have my scans at my local hospital but apparently their scans aren't as in depth as this other place and no one can come with me either.

NinjaPanda34 Sun 11-Jan-15 20:22:57

We found out the sexes of our non-id boys at our 20 week scan. Had moreorless the same reaction as you beforehand, but the consultant was lovely. When we went in, we just said "if it's obvious, we would like to know the genders". To
Be honest it takes a bit of pressure off them because they can then refer to baby A/B as he or she. I'm now 35+2, not long to go now!
But it is lovely seeing them more often at all the scans. I'm now getting scanned weekly and on first name terms with most of the scanners/ twin-clinic team!
Good luck smile

neversleepagain Sun 11-Jan-15 21:14:32

We had a private sex scan at 16 weeks as I really wanted the 20 week scan to be about the babies health and not add finding out their sex to the list. For me it was a worrying time and the private scan made me feel relaxed as all we were there to do was to find out if were were having boys or girls.

There are a lot of ratty hospital staff, ignore her!

Rebecca1608 Sun 11-Jan-15 21:14:46

Its amazing getting to see them so often. I might say something similar myself when it comes to it. How exciting for you, not long to go at all :-) bet you can't wait. I'm extremely excited but nervous too as I've read a few stories about id twins that share a placenta like mine are so I'm just going to stick to mumsnet and read the nice things lol. Good luck to you too. flowers

Rebecca1608 Sun 11-Jan-15 21:16:57

Hopefully I won't see much of her. I only want to keep hearing my babies are healthy... And possibly gender. Lol.

squizita Sun 11-Jan-15 21:25:04

Miserable cow indeed! I was also high risk with loads of scans: what they do is have the health check bits in deadly serious silence (so they miss nothing) then sufdenly cheerfully say "do you want to know the gender?" And tell you if you say yes.

Rebecca1608 Mon 12-Jan-15 20:25:57

Brilliant. Thanks I'm very excited smile and loving these extra scans.

arghhelpme Mon 12-Jan-15 22:38:17

At my 20 week scan i asked before they started to scan that if it is possible for them to see could they tell me the sex, the sonographer was more than happy to tell me, certain twin 1 was a boy and pretty sure twin 2 was a girl. I had scans every 4 weeks as obviously not id twins. Each time the sonographer asked if I knew the sex and each time tried to double check twin 2. Sure enough they were right at the 20 week scan. The boy is currently asleep in the cot whilst i'm feeding my little girl in bed smile Congrats on twins, don't let that moody hcp get you down.

slightlyinsane Mon 12-Jan-15 23:35:27

Hi, glad everything is going well so far. We were asked at every scan if we new what we were having, I think it was there way of checking they didn't put their foot in it. We asked at our 18 wk scan and she said they were definitely boys. 2 weeks later she said they were definitely girls, it took me 3 more scans to believe they were definitely girls.
Which hospital have you been referred to? Although she sounds like a nasty mare try and push to continue with fortnightly scans at the new hospital after 24wks, your local one has done the right thing in referring you to a better unit.

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