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BFP (3 weeks) and terrified after previous mmc

(8 Posts)
KellyBird1980 Sat 10-Jan-15 18:18:21

Hi All,

I thought it might be useful to share my story here and see if there is anyone else out there feeling the same or who has been through this and had a positive experience in the end.

I had a D&C on the 31st of October following a MMC where the baby had stopped growing at 6+4 :-( DH and I were devastated but decided that we wanted to start trying straight after my first AF which finally arrived on 11th of Dec.

I found out that Im 3 weeks pregnant just this week which I thought would be an amazing feeling (and a relief since it happened so quickly!) but all I can think of is how scared I am that its going to happen again. I can tell that DH is apprehensive as well and trying to stay positive, but I think we are both just terrified that it might not work out.

The first time around I had an MMC with no signs of trouble at all so I guess we are just scared that it could happen and we wouldn't know until the first scan. We also don't have children yet so don't really know what its like to have a healthy pregnancy. Its sad because this should be a beautiful experience for both of us but I can only imagine how stressful leading up to this first scan will be!

Is there anyone out there who is going through the same? would be great to keep in touch and support each other through all the anxiety!! xx

thesmallbear Sat 10-Jan-15 18:30:30

Hi Kelly, I'm so sorry to hear about your MMC. I had a MMC in June and it was devastating. I'm now pregnant again 15 + 2 and although it is terrifying (particularly in the early days) the odds really are in your favour for everything being ok this time. I decided to pay for a private scan at eight weeks for reassurance. If you see a heartbeat at eight weeks the chance of the pregnancy continuing is 98% - so I would say eight weeks is the perfect time to seek that reassurance.

There is a thread on here full of women who are pregnant after a MC. We all understand each other's fears and it's a great place for support.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2249840-The-posifrickintivity-continues-another-shiny-and-new-posifrickintivity-thread-for-pregnancy-after-miscarriage

longestlurkerever Sat 10-Jan-15 18:32:04

Hi Kelly. Smallbear beat me to it. I hope you come and join us.

KellyBird1980 Sat 10-Jan-15 18:41:04

Hi ladies,

Thanks so much for this - I will definitely join the conversation there too, its so nice to know that Im not the only person driving myself crazy with anxiety! lol xx

babyblabber Sat 10-Jan-15 19:51:55

I had a MMC last March. Found out at a scan at 8 weeks and had a D&C at 10 weeks. It was my second miscarriage (also have 2 healthy DCs thank god) and it really took me by surprise. I think I thought that I'd had one and statistically that was my one and really didn't see it coming at all.

I waited for one period and got pregnant straight away. Am now 37 weeks but the first trimester was very long and worrying. I would usually be thinking of baby names etc immediately but was too nervous this time and in discussions with DH we would say "if we have a baby" rather than "when the baby comes" etc. I didn't relax until our 8 weeks scan and was still worried until 12 weeks.

I don't think there's anything you can do except just hope for the best and keep yourself as busy as possible to pass the time until you can get an early scan. It's seems like forever but you will get there. Good luck!

KellyBird1980 Sat 10-Jan-15 20:42:37

Hi babybladder - thanks so much for your message, I know exactly what you mean about saying 'if' in stead of 'when'. During the first pregnancy I was planing right from day one - baby names, nursery furniture and even looking at maternity clothes! This time Im really struggling but hopefully it will get easier as the months go by because I still have a long way to go!.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy xxx

Rockchick1984 Sat 10-Jan-15 21:13:19

Hi Kelly sorry for your loss. I went through the same thing April 2013, and fell pregnant again after one AF. I'm currently sat cuddling my 10 month old daughter while she is sleeping in my arms smile

I spent a lot of the pregnancy stressing about if everything would be ok, but one loss doesn't make it more likely that you will go through it again. Up to the first scan I barely allowed myself to think about having a baby at the end of it, then I was still terrified until about 18 weeks when I was feeling kicks and knew things must be ok. Good luck, hopefully you will have the same experience as I did!

KellyBird1980 Sat 10-Jan-15 23:14:05

Hi Rockchick sorry for your loss too and congratulations on your darling girl smile. I just wish I could be put in to a coma for 9 month and wake up with a baby! lol. Its always great to hear experiences like yours with a happy ending, hopefully the anxiety will ease off in time - fingers (and everything else) crossed for a sticky little bean! xxx

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