Talk

Advanced search

Pregnant? See how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy with the Mumsnet Pregnancy Calendar.

gender disappointment?

(123 Posts)
dy14 Tue 06-Jan-15 15:12:35

I am 20w with DC3 I already have two boys. Which are the best! But me and my partner mostly me have decided this will be our last baby for our family. My part ers really hoping for girl as I am to. and I think I will be quite upset if its not. it sounds terrible and I no some people on here get quite touchy with the subject as ive seen. I am very greatful to have two healthy boys already and be pregnant as far as I am with a healthy baby. but I really would love a baby girl! smile

dy14 Tue 06-Jan-15 15:13:32

My scans on friday and think I will find out if all is well smile

gymboywalton Tue 06-Jan-15 15:14:51

i think if the scan shows a healthy baby then you just need to have a word with yourself really.
a baby is a baby.

dy14 Tue 06-Jan-15 15:16:47

I was waiting for somone to say something like this grin

Bowlersarm Tue 06-Jan-15 15:18:48

Well what else can anyone say? Poor little boy, if he is one.

Letmeeatcakecakecake Tue 06-Jan-15 15:20:16

A friend of mine was similar, 2 boys and was desperate for a girl. She got pregnant hoping it would be a girl and was so upset when she realised it was a boy, she said she didn't want it. I'm really worried about how she will get on with the baby once it's born. Fingers crossed all gender disappointment will disappear.

I think it's a good idea that you find out, so you have time to adjust if the baby is another boy. Personally, I think that having 3 boys would be awesome and I'd love 3 of them! Boys rock!

I'm not saying that this is what you've done, but just from experience with my friend. I think it's so irresponsible getting pregnant with a child hoping for a particular sex, when there's a 50% chance it won't be. It's the only reason that my friend conceived and I really hope the little boy doesn't find out when he grows up!

bigfam Tue 06-Jan-15 15:21:11

My mil cried at my 20wk scan she was so disappointed that it was a girl, I honestly wanted to slap her, the scan lady thought it was tears of happiness. I was so pissed at her, she actually had the cheek to scowl at me when we were told it was a girl. Grrrr makes me mad even remembering it! :@

Bowlersarm Tue 06-Jan-15 15:21:54

If it is a boy, you'll have a few months to get over your disappointment, before be arrives. With any luck.

BabyOnBoob Tue 06-Jan-15 15:22:14

I do understand what you mean OP. We found out we were having a girl at our 20 week scan and this is what I wanted.

I would have been a bit disappointed if our DD was a boy but yes, a baby is a baby and as long as it's healthy I think that's the main thing.

Good luck with your scan smile

mum2benicole Tue 06-Jan-15 15:22:47

I was adherent that my 1st child was going to be a boy I hoped it would be as I helped raising both younger brothers so in a way I was terrified of having a girl, my 20 week scan showed she was a girl and I cried but was happy that she was healthy and after a while I came more attached to the idea of having a daughter im 21 wks with 2nd baby now and felt the oppersit I was scared of having a boy but behold at my scan there it was a baby boy im staring to be less wworried it sounds awful when u hear it but at the same time ur happy knowing they are healthy audits a blessing to be able to have childeren I was told I would rather never have a pregnacy go full term which at 1st I did lose 3 pregnancies before my daughter or that would die giving birth so its a gift to be able to carry a healthychild to term and be here to see her grow and be starting aging with anoughter.
Good luck hope u get what ur after but healthy happy baby's better than nothing at all xx:-)

Bowlersarm Tue 06-Jan-15 15:22:58

You took your mil to your scan bigfam? Brave!

Ruth10 Tue 06-Jan-15 15:26:49

I think you are being very honest and I think a lot of people in your position would feel your way but wouldn't be brave enough to say it. I wonder if the 2 posters above have boys or girls?

I think it is very natural for a woman to want a baby girl, If the baby is a boy you and DH will love him absolutely and unconditionally even if you always do wonder what it would have been like to have a girl.

Good luck with the scan, whether your baby is a girl or a boy I hope they are a healthy little one x

dy14 Tue 06-Jan-15 15:27:39

Yeah course you will get over it and be happy either way! Not really poor little boy if he is one as he will be loved just as much as his brothers so dont write such crap wink . My OH has no family so there is reasons why we would like a little girl. But thanks to the people that were nice about it ;)

dy14 Tue 06-Jan-15 15:29:20

Thanks Ruth.

I agree with you

Thanks grin

bigfam Tue 06-Jan-15 15:29:47

Bowlersarm, I regret it whole-heartedly, it was so embarrassing!

Bowlersarm Tue 06-Jan-15 15:31:28

You said you would be quite upset if it's a boy. So why am I writing crap confused

Bowlersarm Tue 06-Jan-15 15:33:53

bigfam you made me laugh at the thought of your mil scowling at you when she's sitting in on your scan. Don't think she realised how privileged she was to be there, not many dils would be so accommodating.

Sallycinnamum Tue 06-Jan-15 15:34:07

It really frustrates me that some people can be so dismissive of this whole gender disappointment issue.

Of course every parent wants a healthy baby but there's no getting away from the fact that many mothers are disappointed when they wanted a girl and got a boy and vice versa.

If your third DC turns out to be a boy I don't think for one minute you won't love him with all your heart but it's only human for many mothers to want a girl.

ILiveOnABuildsite Tue 06-Jan-15 15:34:58

mum2benicole my experience is exactly the same as yours. With first baby I so so wanted a boy, I had never pictured myself having a daughter, don't know why it's just the way it was in my head. I was gutted to find out it was a girl but soon got used to the idea. My dd is my perfect princess now and when we decided to have another both dh and I really really wanted another girl. We're having a boy! We were a little upset/shocked at first because we had convinced ourselves we were having another girl, but realistically our baby is healthy and active and looked so well on the scan. It does boil down to being happy and grateful to have a healthy baby but it doesn't mean that you don't need time to sometimes adjust the reality with your fantasy and that's fine too.

dy14 Tue 06-Jan-15 15:35:58

upset as in disappointed slightly. I agree with ruth not alot of girl will admit it. I also think every girl if not high majority of them when conceive hope for a certain sex once you actually no the sex of the baby its fine its the whole anxiousness of finding out I also think. smile

mum2benicole Tue 06-Jan-15 15:36:41

Baby's are all wonderfull boys or girls I dont think its wrong that she wants a girl my friend is desperately trying to have a girl shes got 4 boys now all under 8 years of age and she only 24 so its just how Manny childeren u willing to have before u call it I mean I hope its a girl but even if its not its going to have a family that will love it rather way im sure

Bowlersarm Tue 06-Jan-15 15:39:06

I think slightly disappointed, is different to quite upset. It might take you a long time to get over being upset.

Anyway it is what it is. I wish you well, and hope you get what you want.

dy14 Tue 06-Jan-15 15:40:27

Of course. My OH has no family like I said we already have a 4yo boy and a 17month old boy. I would love to have a girl but I do think I am a boys mum and I love my boys and would like the fact of three boys to look after me when im older grin . I am young aswell so have plenty time to have other children but I dont think I would like more than 3. therfore I would like to have a little girl smile

Butterpuff Tue 06-Jan-15 15:41:20

I can understand. We are due our first, don't know if we will have another or not, we haven't found out and will be happy with either just hope that he or she is healthy.

But if we do have another I know that I will be hoping we get the opposite to who I am carrying now just to experience the differences between raising a son and a daughter.

GlitzAndGigglesx Tue 06-Jan-15 15:41:47

Ffs op isn't exactly gonna tie the baby to tree and leave it if it's a boy! I think deep down everyone has a preference. Of course we all want a healthy baby too!

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: