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Visitors towards the end and right after

(6 Posts)
Zahrah5 Mon 05-Jan-15 10:13:01

Hello

my parents would like to come to visit us towards the end of my pregnancy.

It will be sometimes around week 33-34. They want to come for extended weeked, perhaps Wednesday nigh or Thursday and leaving Sunday.

We have good relationship and they do not expect full service as guests, opposite of that, they can cook and help us with anything. But still it is a disruption and I work and plan to still be working full time. Currently I dont have any problems with my pregnancy (24w). Is this a good idea? I am just not able to determine how will I feel and if I can handle visitors at that stage of pregnancy. I know I need lots of rest now.

My mom also wants to come after the baby is born to help out with the baby and keep me company. When do you think it is good time? I think we will need couple of weeks to recover from the change and get some sort of system and bonding time as family so maybe 1 month after? On the other side, what if I have problems after birth and could use help to learn how to care of baby, breastfeeding etc.?

They need to buy their tickets for the plane in advance so it is not as easy with planning.

FeatherFeather11 Mon 05-Jan-15 11:03:16

Hello,
33-34 weeks is still a while before the birth, and if you're feeling ok and having a straightforward pregnancy then I'd say why not. So long as they don't expect to be entertained and are prepared to clear off if you do go into early labour.

As for after the birth, I'd personally have them wait a while and play it by ear. You don't know how you'll feel at that stage and it may be that you will want some space. I've told my mum, who's o/s that she'd be better off coming a month after the birth.

Congrats and best of luck with your pregnancy!

babyblabber Mon 05-Jan-15 11:05:28

I think defo let them come at 33-34 weeks, you'll be fine then. I'm 36 weeks and in the last week have gotten very tired and grumpy but am carrying a big baby, 7lbs already, so think that's making it a bit tougher.

As for after the birth, you might go two weeks over and then if you ended up having a section you'd need to stay in hospital a while so the earliest of let them book flights for is 2.5-3 weeks after your due date. Then it's kind of up to fate as to whether they are there immediately or you have some time alone. In an ideal world I'd say best timing for their arrival would be when your DH is going back to work but again, you don't know when baby will arrive.

dorasee Mon 05-Jan-15 11:13:27

I can't say much with regards to the end of your pregnancy, but if your mum is an easy going person who gets on well with DH, get her in about 2 weeks after the birth. You will need support. You will hit a wall and the sleepless nights in the beginning are just torture, particularly if this is your first. If you have other children, then mum's extra hands will be invaluable. Don't fall into the nuclear family 'we can do it on our own thanks' way of thinking. Yes it's a time to bond but it's also very good for your baby to have the loving touch of family and good friends around. It is good for you too. You will be able to sneak in a kip with your mum there. And we tend to lean on our working husbands so much and they really can't always give the time and energy new mums require. But grandmothers can and do. It is different if your mother is a nagging pain but it sounds as if she is a loving mum who wants to help you and embrace her important role.

Firstimemummy15 Mon 05-Jan-15 11:43:59

If you have a good relationship with them and they won't expect u to be working and then coming home and entertaining them then go for it! As for after the birth, family and friends who have already had babies find that after a couple of weeks people tend to stop visiting or visiting less and the partner has gone back to work and that's when things can get overwhelming - could they visit and support you then?

skyra13 Mon 05-Jan-15 12:09:13

I'd let them come visit but tell not to expect much. I would also say the best idea for them to visit it once your partner had gone back to work after maternity, you might find you might need the support.

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