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want another baby but suffered extreme anxiety and depression first time

(7 Posts)
ostrichhead Sun 04-Jan-15 21:48:36

I suffered very badly in pregnancy with antenatal depression and anxiety and I am currently taking some medication which is a hormone that apparently increases in pregnancy, and finding myself feeling more and more anxious atm.

This is leading me to think it's very likely that if I do another pregnancy I will suffer again but I already have one child to think about and need to do my best to find coping solutions.

I am against medication, and would like that not to be my first option, primarily because I would simply worry over what damage I might be doing to a baby by taking it.

Has anyone gone on to have a positive pregnancy experience after an awful one mentally, or any tips on how you alleviate the anxieties that come with pregnancy?

Rockchick1984 Sun 04-Jan-15 22:31:39

First pregnancy I suffered with antenatal depression and anxiety, miscarried second pregnancy (but had no signs of mental health issues prior to miscarriage). Third pregnancy I was fine - no MH problems, and no more anxious than others I know who have fallen pregnant after miscarriage.

ostrichhead Sun 04-Jan-15 22:37:23

thanks, its nice to know that it isn't always the rule it will happen again.

I haven't suffered any losses but had fertility issues and had the fear of losing, almost as though I had having been told by dr's how much higher the risk of losses were iyswim

Observer78 Mon 05-Jan-15 01:28:12

Have you been offered any CBT? It's not a miracle worker but it's great at tackling issues as you learn more about the causes, your reactions and why they happen, etc.
Really does help.
I think I walked into it expecting a total fix of all my issues (didn't happen), but it's great for controlling and dealing with anxiety (it's reduced dramatically).

I too would like to try for another baby, and I too, like you, have had fertility issues. Ditto scared. I'm convinced I'll have anxiety but I (hope) I can handle it a thousand times better now.

MrsG23 Mon 05-Jan-15 01:44:12

My mother suffered quite badly following the birth of me, back in 1990... She went onto have 3 more children and was absolutely fine! She is the best mother and friend anyone could ever wish to have and I only hope I am half of the woman she was and is now!
Back then, it wasn't talked about as often as it is now... Maybe build up a support network around you that can recognise the signs of any anxiety or depression - that way you aremt on your own when it comes to dealing with it and may enable you to feel calmer?
Also, work out what is best For you... It is such an. Individual thing and what works best for you may not work for others - find something that can ease your anxiety - I'm quite an anxious person and have always swam when I find it all too much - my mum would always just hand me a swim bag and kit if things got too much for me whilst at uni and whilst I was living at home...

The best thing to relise is that.. Despite everything, you are still here and you are succeeding At being a wonderful mother. You've already won, in many respects? smile xxx

ostrichhead Mon 05-Jan-15 01:49:43

I did have some CBT at a very well known mother and baby unit... which at the time was brilliant. However, he'd been born by then... so was more centred around controlling my anxieties that I may have harmed him when pregnant (which were bloody irrational..but made perfect sense in my head at the time)

I never thought then I'd ever dare another pregnancy but now want to.

I think the fears really are whether I will manage to keep the baby well in the long term. In my mothers day her scan reassured her - all was well, healthy baby is coming. But nowadays with things that don't show on scans or the awareness that not everything shows up on scans such as autism for example... I just panicked the whole time that I might be bringing a life into the world to 'suffer'. (hope I don't offend, this is just saying what state of mind I was in at the time, and fear I may end up in again) I couldn't disconnect from the feeling of guilt that it would be my "fault" if that happened...

(again, I know it doesn't run straight - but that's mental illness for you)

rubyboo2 Mon 05-Jan-15 07:47:34

Hi Op just to let you know everytime is different . My 1st time I had pnd and was on antidepressants until I fell pregnant the 2nd time . The midwife was great kept an eye on me offered counselling etc but I felt fine even though I had HG ! Anyway good new is I never had pnd with my 2nd , it was brilliant to experience the joy having a baby I loved it .urrently preggers 35 wks with #3 hoping its the same as last time . Good luck to you x

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