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Devastated after misscariage..

(15 Posts)
Natashajade2727 Sun 04-Jan-15 07:02:18

Can anybody relate, I was in hospital last night and had it confirmed I was having a misscariage. The pregnancy was planned and I was only 6weeks+6days! I really didn't cope well in the hospital having people messing with me and all the rest. My husband was with me and was a complete rock. Now to be home and still bleeding is sickening to know why. Things seem so surreal right now! I feel like people are going to think I'm a fool for being so distraught when I wasn't far into the pregnancy but already having a daughter of two yr old I had an instant love for another pregnancy and so did my husband. The hardest bit is that I had told all my family and now I have to go threw them all knowing and I have to try and be happy for my sister in law who is 20weeks pregnant and completely over the moon! I just don't know how to feel right now, any advice please ladies x

Wonkyparsnip Sun 04-Jan-15 07:06:29

Don't let anyone tell you what your feeling is wrong...it's how you feel. Im so sorry you are going through this. I think just be honest with everyone. I'm sure they'll understand. I hope the grieving gets better in time.

VashtaNerada Sun 04-Jan-15 07:22:20

I'm so sorry to hear that flowers There is a miscarriage section on talk somewhere, might be worth asking to move the thread as you'll find lots of support there.

greenlizard Sun 04-Jan-15 08:31:44

So sorry to hear your news - you poor thing. sad I have had two miscarriages one at 10 weeks and one at 8 weeks, and I was devastated both times - it doesn't matter how far along you were the grief is real. My advice would be to let you DH tell everyone, be kind to yourself and let yourself heal.

I can promise you it does get better.

BugBugBug Sun 04-Jan-15 08:38:36

We had two failed IVF cycles that didn't even get to a BFP - I was devastated by that first one. The second was easier to deal with but the first really hit me hard.

The people who love you won't think you're a fool. They'll want to help you get through this. It will be tricky with your sister but it will get easier with time.

Take care of yourself.

Teeste Sun 04-Jan-15 08:58:47

So sorry for your loss. People won't think you're a fool. It can be difficult for people to know how to react to someone's miscarriage as IMO it's not really talked about. But when I had mine (7 weeks), suddenly all these women were telling me about theirs - you may find you have a wider support network than you think. All I got was sympathy from most people, and some sage advice. It takes time to heal, but you can get through it. Just feel how you feel for now and take all the time you need. Be kind to yourself, you need it. Wishing you all the very best flowers

leanne963 Sun 04-Jan-15 09:53:44

Oh natasha bless your heart! I am so so sorry from your loss!! It doesn't matter how far along in the pregnancy you get, as soon as you know you are going to be a mum you want that baby more than anything.

I had quite a horrible miscarriage in the A&E waiting room in June. I had my blood pressure taken 4 times in the space of 3.5 hours and just told to wait in the waiting area while I was bleeding very very heavily. I was devastated that no one was doing anything but now I know this is standard sad

I too had to find out two weeks later that my brother and SIL were now pregnant, it broke my heart......why did this have to happen to me?! I'm a good person!!!

Please look after yourself and allow yourself to be angry/sad cause I tried too long to pretend I was ok and it comes back to bit you in the ass. I'm here if you ever want to chat, mumsnet really is fantastic for support and you know you are not alone in your feelings x

thesmallbear Sun 04-Jan-15 11:44:21

Hi OP, I had a MMC in june and it really is the most devastating thing. There are a lot of ladies on the miscarriage forum who have been through the same thing and will support you.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage

I know it seems very isolating when it happens to you, but you are not alone. Many woman have been through MC, but it's not widely talked about. When I started talking about my my MC, I discovered that that there are are three other women I work work plus a work colleague's sister who have been through the same thing. This is out of a team of about 18 people. My mum also had a MC, which I didn't find out about until I had mine! You may find that it's a good thing that you told your family as you'll have support flowers

Natashajade2727 Sun 04-Jan-15 14:06:02

Thankyou so much everybody, means so much to know I'm not the only one. Just can't seem to get my head around it! I have been up all night thinking of something I can get or do to mark the fact that I'm not going to forget the fact I was having another baby. I don't want to just lose a baby and it just be forgotten! X

ToriB34 Sun 04-Jan-15 14:34:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Firstimemummy15 Sun 04-Jan-15 15:05:46

I'm so sorry to read this. There is no right or wrong way to feel at a time like this. Use ur family for support, I can understand how another pregnancy in the family will be very difficult. With time this will improve and you will be able to enjoy their baby. Just take each day as it comes, if u feel like crying then cry, or shouting then shout. Just keep talking to people and try not to bottle it up. A memory tree or such like in the garden may be an idea x

D00dles Sun 04-Jan-15 16:16:44

Hi, I'm sorry to hear about your MC. Like you I have one DD and fell pregnant again last year. But I also had a MC around the 6.5 week mark. To be honest it was a huge shock. When you've had one healthy pregnancy and no fertility issues I think you're naive about how things can go wrong. I found a few family/friends sharing their experiences with me, I was surprised how many had been through the same.
Take some time to recover, talk to your DH and enjoy your DD. I've just fallen pregnant again after spending a few months focusing on other areas of my life. I'm terrified but I had an early scan and all is well so far. I guess some babies are just not meant to be, but it's so hard to understand that. Take care x

Wonkyparsnip Sun 04-Jan-15 16:20:09

Natasha have you though about getting a charm bracelet of a necklace so you can feel your baby is with you always?

BugBugBug Sun 04-Jan-15 16:37:48

Or plant a tree or something similar?

Like teeste says I have found being open about it all has really helped. So many people go through difficult times trying to have a family. Often being the first one to be brave can lead you to others struggles. Suddenly you're not quite so alone!

Take care and let yourself grieve

Observer78 Mon 05-Jan-15 01:46:52

I guess some babies are just not meant to be
That made me well up!

OP... It's a turd thing to have happened. It's even somehow worse at the hospital. It does get better though. I promise.
flowers

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