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first hospital appointment terrified

(17 Posts)
sleepy2kp Sat 03-Jan-15 10:00:31

I'm 10wks +5 and have my first hospital appointment a week on Monday. I have an extreme phobia of drs, hospitals etc and am terrified. My partner got me to the dr 4 weeks ago and I was sick everywhere and collapsed. (I am very lucky and have a very supportive partner.) I have a few questions if anyone can help. I am a first time mum and new to this site.
I am scared scan will hurt and sonographer won't stop if it does.
Scared there will be something wrong or worse no baby (from What I've read everyone has this worry)
Letter says apt may last up to 2 hrs, What happens for so long?
I am a very private person and do not like sharing personal information.
Sorry for long post but any advice is much appreciated.

Bustherb Sat 03-Jan-15 10:02:46

Hi, is it your booking in appointment? If so you may not have a scan unless you've been told you will have one? If so they don't hurt, just a bit uncomfortable but only because of your bladder being full. If it's your booking in appt then the midwife will go through all family history and take some bloods. Xx

ArsenicFaceCream Sat 03-Jan-15 10:02:53

Weighing, height measurement, urine test, blood test, filling forms, an awful lot of haning around.

Realistically, you have 30 weeks of medical care ahead.

You need a strategy.

How about hypnotherapy?

PotteringAlong Sat 03-Jan-15 10:04:58

If it's a scan it doesn't hurt at all - they have to press quite hard but it's no more than uncomfortable And you have your baby to look at!

WorryWurta Sat 03-Jan-15 10:10:25

Do you get all your care via the hospital or just the scans? The scan appointment doesn't hurt, let the sonographer know you're a bit apprehensive ours was lovely, I'm sure if they know you're apprehensive they'll try to put you at ease. I don't think it will take two hours even if it is your scan plus your first appointment with the midwife, I would think more like an hour and a bit plus waiting time. What is it specifically that frightens you about hospitals?

sleepy2kp Sat 03-Jan-15 10:15:40

I'm assuming its my booking apt. Just don't know if I can do 2 hrs in a hospital. I've always had this phobia and really wish I didn't. Generally people just tell me to get over it. I wish it was that simple. I know nothing about childbirth and pregnancy apart from the horror stories I've read so I know I need to go.

a2011x Sat 03-Jan-15 10:21:27

Hi

I know this might not help you as your anxiety seems extreme but it really ain't anything scary at all! Your height and weight, forms,blood test and urine sample, a chat about everything. I don't think you will have a scan but will probably feel for a heartbeat, this doesn't hurt and of course if it did hurt you you are able to say stop at any time. You need to explain your feelings when you arrive or phone in advance so they can make sure they have someone who can help you there. I really enjoyed my first appointment and everything suddenly feels very real and exciting. You need to take someone with you and really this is the easiest part you need to get a grip of this situation as soon as possible. Reach out for support in every way you can because in 30 odd weeks you will be amongst it all. Good luck you will be fine!!!!x

sleepy2kp Sat 03-Jan-15 10:21:51

I'm assuming its my booking apt. Just don't know if I can do 2 hrs in a hospital. I've always had this phobia and really wish I didn't. Generally people just tell me to get over it. I wish it was that simple. I know nothing about childbirth and pregnancy apart from the horror stories I've read so I know I need to go.

bilbodog Sat 03-Jan-15 10:26:58

I'm sorry you are so scared of hospitals and doctors. You do need to let them know your fears and I am sure they will do their best to help you relax. I do think you need to get a good book on pregnancy and childbirth - the mums on here will be able to suggest a good one - I had mine 25 years ago so am not up to date on what's out there now. You don't need to be scared. Bringing a child into the world is a wonderful thing but I do think you need to have a bit of information otherwise you wont know what's going on and that would make me scared. Hope it all goes well. Best Wishes.

sleepy2kp Sat 03-Jan-15 10:28:12

The apt letter I got said for an ultrasound I will need to arrive with a full bladder so I'm assuming I will have one. Worryworta - I couldn't tell What it is that scares me I just don't know. I know they are there to help but I can't stand it. For 30 yrs I can remember being scared. (I'm 34 now).

WorryWurta Sat 03-Jan-15 10:29:15

Ah OK, I have my midwife appts at the GP and separate scans at the hospital so I've not had as big a stint. You could try ringing the midwives this Monday and talking it through, see if there's anything they can do like put your scan on a different day to your booking apt - actually like bustherb says you quite probably won't have a scan, all my hospital letters for consultant appt say they 'may need to scan you' but they never do. I have a fear of viruses/bacteria so I've had similar difficulty attending appointments (ended up hysterical when the midwife last took my bloods), the midwives aren't particularly flexible in their approach so it's whilst it's worth talking to them (yours might be better) perhaps have a look into CBT or hypnotherapy as you do unfortunately end up with a lot of medical appointments. For next Monday maybe turn up as close to your appointment as possible, check when you sign in if there's a delay - if there is maybe they'll let you pop back out to the car and come back in when they're ready for you? RE childbirth I just try not to think about it lol, I think at that point you're probably in that it would override the fear. Having said that though I have support from mental health team for my OCD and they have been quite keen to support me to give birth at home if that's less upsetting for me - and that's even though it's a first baby and I'm consultant led care.

Meirasa Sat 03-Jan-15 10:34:29

Maybe you should try reading a pregnancy book, rather then the 'horror stories'

BadIdeaBear Sat 03-Jan-15 14:16:57

I don't know how you are financially, but my DSis has a strong aversion to hospitals too and what she decided to do was to get an independent midwife - it might be worth you seeing if there are any available in your area. She felt so good with them and with the hypnobirthing stuff she read and practised, she went with a home birth and was very happy with that decision. In fact, she said it was 'amazing'.

Saying that, she did have to go into hospital afterwards, as baby wasn't too well the day after the birth, so it really is worth you trying to deal with the phobia too. Hypnobirthing stuff may help, but it sounds like hypnotherapy specifically for this issue might be worth doing (and potentially be useful at other points in your life too).

Good luck!

Bustherb Sat 03-Jan-15 14:56:19

What to expect when you're expecting is a good book, got lots of info and even a section for dads zzz

Tranquilitybaby Sat 03-Jan-15 16:41:41

It's probably a good idea to explain this to the the sonographer and the midwife when you arrive. I'm sure you're not the first person and you won't be the last.

I have anxiety around hospitals too but I find rescue remedy helping in the lead up and keeping busy whilst I'm in the waiting room, reading or on being on my phone.

You usually have the scan, then wait again for the midwife to call you in to have a chat, do you height and weight etc.

MissyBear10 Sat 03-Jan-15 18:42:03

Hello

I have the same phobia and my heart goes out to you. I had my baby 10 weeks ago and all I can say is -it is totally, totally worth it. As a friend said to me - keep your eyes on the prize. Nothing will ever be more magical for you.

You do need a coping strategy though as you have lots of tests/appointments ahead. I thoroughly researched my options - counselling, hypnotherapy, private midwives and finally a totally private birth. I ended up picking my obsterician, anaesthetist, mdwife, clinic, hospital unit and all appointments were on my terms. This really helped me. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Good luck

applecore0317 Sat 03-Jan-15 20:52:28

My scan appointment said up to two hours but it didn't last anywhere near that long. I was in the waiting room for 15 mins then got called in, scan probably took around 20 mins as we asked for the nuchal screening where they measure the back of the neck for downs syndrome. Then following that we went up to the maternity unit as I had to have a blood test for the second part of the nuchal screening. We were done within an hour.

The scan itself was fine, just some cold jelly and an extremely full bladder, I was so desperate for a wee that she let me do a partial one after a few mins smile once they flip on the screen to show you your baby it should hopefully distract you from where you are.

May be worth seeing if they can refer you to someone who can help manage your fear during pregnancy, hope all goes ok for you and you get through the appointment x

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