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Pregnancy

Are girls better than boys???

71 replies

lilyanna812 · 01/01/2015 22:02

I am currently pregnant with my third and I have two DS.

I love my kids, I never regretted them for a moment. However I keep getting comments like:-

'Third time lucky, this one will be a girl'
'If you are really lucky it will be a girl this time'
'This one is definatly a girl....'

...etc from family, friends and everyone

I was watching a show called gender disappointment, wanting a girl and there was a mother there with 6 (?) sons and said not having a daughter is the same pain and disappointment as not have children at all.

Are girls better than boys?

Are sons less value?

Is a third son a curse whilst a daughter will be a blessing.

When I got pregnant I didn't care what I had.....but now I want a son. I have always been a rebel .....but also the fact that I actually LIKE having sons and if I had 10 sons or 3 sons, it really would not matter to me.

Will my life be less valuable less important less worthy if I didn't have a daughter?

I am looking fwd to being the mother in law that is always travelling and u see at weddings and funerals and the odd party. I really enjoy being the only woman in the house and I am shocked that people feel that a baby boy will be less wanted, less loved, less valuable than a baby girl.

OP posts:

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thatstoast · 01/01/2015 22:04

I'm sure if you had 2 girls everyone would be telling you that number 3 is definitely a boy.

PoppySausage · 01/01/2015 22:05

Sod them, it's daft. My sil was genuinely disappointed but only because she wanted the elusive close mother daughter relationship, shopping, pampering etc. all an illusion, your children are your children and 3 boys sounds lovely

Pico2 · 01/01/2015 22:07

Your own children are better than other people's (most of the time). That seems to be pretty much it to me.

LotsaDots · 01/01/2015 22:08

Ask them if they'll regret saying that if it's a boy. Wishing you a heathy pregnancy and healthy baby as that is all that matters.

Mintyy · 01/01/2015 22:10

If u want a boy that means u think boyz are better than girlz hun.

TwoLittleTerrors · 01/01/2015 22:10

I think girls are better because I have 2 DDs. I would say boys are better if I have 2 sons. I can't imagine my little girls as anything else.

leanne963 · 01/01/2015 22:12

It's weird isn't it?! Everyone assumes that as a woman you want a girl baby and the dad must want a boy baby.
As long as they are healthy then what's the issue?! I would love a girl and a boy, but I would never feel like I was 'worse off' if I had two of the same sex.

lilyanna812 · 01/01/2015 22:13

@Mintyy....I didn't mind whether it was a boy or girl

but with these comments, I really want a boy.

If I had a girl then it would probably conform to the idea that my life was incomplete and empty until I had a daughter.

I guess being a rebel....I hate people deciding what I should have and what would make my family and my world complete

OP posts:

cedricsneer · 01/01/2015 22:14

Get used to it op. It gets worse and worse (mother to 3ds)

loudarts · 01/01/2015 22:14

I have 4 dds and 2 ds. The boys are definitely easier to handle.

DaphneMoonCrane · 01/01/2015 22:14

I'm with you, OP. I hear all that bullshit on here about, 'If you have boys they get married and you become the MIL and you hardly see them', and I'm like, 'And that's a bad thing because...'

People only want a specific sex of baby for superficial reasons, IMO. Usually with girls it's to do with pretty dresses, shopping trips and weddings. Some girls aren't interested in these things. Children have their own personalities and interests beyond their genders.

I have two DSes and they couldn't be more different from each other. I would have loved a girl the same if I'd had one.

People say stupid things to pregnant women just to make conversation. It's annoying, I know. A random woman at thr bus stop saw me with DS1 and asked me what I was having. When I said another boy, she said, 'Oh dear, never mind'

lilyanna812 · 01/01/2015 22:15

@poppy sausage....

irony is my brother has probably done more shopping, day trips and activities with my mother than I have.

Gender preference is really based on ideals which may or may not actually manifest

OP posts:

DramaAlpaca · 01/01/2015 22:15

Some people make stupid assumptions and say very silly things to pregnant women.

I lost count of the daft comments I got when I was pregnant for the third time having already had two boys.

Well, I had a third son & can honestly say my three boys are wonderful, I have a great relationship with them & I wouldn't have it any other way.

lilyanna812 · 01/01/2015 22:16

I'm with you, OP. I hear all that bullshit on here about, 'If you have boys they get married and you become the MIL and you hardly see them', and I'm like, 'And that's a bad thing because...' wink

I KNOW......I really want to travel and do my own thing and cant wait to be the MIL u see at weddings, funerals and parties. I would hate to be latched on to any of my kids....I want to be the pot smoking hippy nanny who is watching the Northern Lights somewhere, not calling up and hassling the family to come round and see me

OP posts:

Peachy27 · 01/01/2015 22:18

I have three boys and couldn't be happier. I also understand your wanting three boys as after my first son I hoped each time for another, why would I think anything could be better than what I already had, although I'm sure if I'd had a daughter I would have loved her just as much and thought she was just as wonderful. The fact is, be it boy or girl, it will be your child and that is why you'll love it. A good friend who just had a girl actually told me she felt sorry for me as I would never understand how wonderful it is to have a girl. My response.....she'll never understand how wonderful it is to have three boys. Ignore what anyone else said and the baby will be a blessing, whatever 'variety' it is!

IdaClair · 01/01/2015 22:19

People say stupid things.

Noone knows the first thing about the gender of their children until the child knows it themselves and chooses to share.

leanne963 · 01/01/2015 22:20

Hahah daphne 'oh dear never mind?!?!?!' Omg what a thing to say! That is so rude!!!

I'm having a girl and tbh I hate all of the expected girl items. I really don't like pink, but of course everything is pink so family are being very generous and buying us lots of tutus and bows and frills. Even looking at the toys and im thinking there are more to girls than doing hair on a barbie, heck if she wants a tool set I will happily get her one lol. What I'm saying is girls don't have to necessarily be 'girly' and im sure some mums have sons that live dressing up in pretty dresses.

I admire lilyanna and her 'screw what people expect me to want' attitude!!

DaphneMoonCrane · 01/01/2015 22:20

Couldn't agree more, lily. My mum and gran are both like this and it does my head in. I want to be there for my kids if they need me, but once they grow up and find partners etc, their lives are their own.

Pooette · 01/01/2015 22:20

You're getting whats in there, love!

What you (or nosey people in your life) want doesnt come into it

DaphneMoonCrane · 01/01/2015 22:23

I know, leanne. I wish she could see my DS2. He is so lovely, an absolutely beautiful child. The idea that anyone could think I'd be disappointed with him because he's my second boy really boils my piss.

mumxof3x · 01/01/2015 22:28

I have 3 sons and im pregnant with my 4th son 20+2 weeks luckily my pregnancy is still more or less a secret and I said the other day im dreading the comments starting. I had it all with ds3 "aww what a shame your not having a girl" "bet you would love a girl wouldnt you?" and by far the worst one of a lady looking into my pram at newborn ds3 and saying "aww just a shame its not a girl isnt it?"
I feel blessed to have any children as some people cannot have them like members of my family and also members of my family (mother and aunt) who had stillborns. So as long as the baby is healthy and well, sex doesnt mean anything to me.
I do think though it is not just about boys its about both, some people seem to think having both boys and girls = a perfect family, and if you have 2 or more of the same sex then you must want the opposite sex to "complete" your family. It really does annoy me lol.

dm86 · 01/01/2015 22:29

I would just ignore it! I'm expecting my 3rd dc and currently have one of each. People always ask if I know what am having and I say no,I always get the reply 'it doesn't matter as you already have one of each.'

Like it would matter whether I already had two boys or two girls Im not bothered as long as my baby is healthy! It doesn't matter in my opinion.

Good Luck OP with your pregnancy

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hmc · 01/01/2015 22:34

Love my dd and ds equally but dd is much harder work. Gender doesn't matter - you know that. Ignore the silly comments

BlinkingHeck · 01/01/2015 22:42

Nah! They aren't better! I'm sure girls are equally as nice to have as boys are. Just might vary in their interests or maybe not. Plus personalities of individual children vary massively.

I have two gorgeous boys. Wouldn't swap them for the world.

Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a daughter. But then remember my own relationship with my DM. Not the doting mother daughter relationship at all. I preferred my Dad!

Not at all tempted to 'go for the girl' as people sometimes say. Happy with my lot.

Ignore them or just say it doesn't matter what we have as long as he or she is healthy, plus I love being a Mum to my boys.

Best wishes

noitsachicken · 01/01/2015 22:51

I've just had DS2 (4 days old).
We didn't know what we were having. When we got home from the hospital our neighbours popped out to see the baby, we said he was a boy.
Neighbour said, 'will you try for another?' (Not even in the house yet!), 'you will want a girl, someone to go shopping with' (she has two adult DD).
I was a bit annoyed so I said 'hopefully one of them will be gay then!'

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