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Upset at husbands comment, am I being silly?

(14 Posts)
Newmom2b Mon 29-Dec-14 17:22:19

Heard hubby saying to somebody today that he is dreading the birth. Doesn't really fill me with confidence and also got me quite upset. I only have 3 weeks to go!
I know he is feeling stressed at 'how good he'll be' but its not really what I want to hear! Am I being a silly hormonal preggers? Do other Hubby's feel that way?

itiswhatitiswhatitis Mon 29-Dec-14 17:24:59

In fairness he was expressing it to someone else and probably didn't intend for you to hear. I think it's fine and natural for him to be feeling anxious and I don't think you should be upset that he told someone how he is feeling.

JohnFarleysRuskin Mon 29-Dec-14 17:27:16

I think that's fair enough- I felt that way too ;)

Have a chat with him, ask him what he's worries about, sharing concerns often helps...

Hopingforpeaceandgoodwill Mon 29-Dec-14 17:29:51

He is probably nervous as you and the baby are the most important people in the world to him and he will be quite helpless during the birth.
Hope you have a straight forward delivery and all goes well. Then you can get on with those important newborn snuggles. must not get broody, my last born is 6 months now and growing too fast!

TheBooMonster Mon 29-Dec-14 17:44:07

I expect he's worried about what's going to happen and that's pretty normal, at least he's thinking about the birth more than my bloody husband did perhaps it would be a good idea to go through some birth books with him and discuss what you both are expecting to happen, and go through your birth plan so he knows how you want to be supported, this might help him.

Happilymarried155 Mon 29-Dec-14 17:50:08

I think your maybe being emotional! My DH is too dreading the birth, he loves me, doesn't want to see me in pain and doesn't know what to expect. I think it's only natural to feel worried about it and probably dread it abit! Good luck x

RL20 Mon 29-Dec-14 18:45:06

I wouldn't say you're being silly, but I also wouldn't say that his comment was an unfair one. Although to our hormones it would feel like it! I would probably feel the same as you do. My partner is probably thinking exactly the same as yours, but is saying to people who ask, that he can't wait for the birth! It doesn't mean that he's not secretly feeling nervous or scared though! Like others have said, sit down with him and talk about the birth. Although you can never really plan these things, I suppose! X

GlitzAndGigglesx Mon 29-Dec-14 18:57:29

Not nice to hear no but I think he meant the birth itself not your beautiful baby. I was dreading my own birth thanks to horror stories off people but it all went well.

MrsDiesel Mon 29-Dec-14 19:00:41

I have dreaded all three of my births, the second and third more than the first. I don't think it is unreasonable for your husband to feel that way.

Dogsmom Mon 29-Dec-14 19:55:09

I'm sure he didn't mean dreading your baby being born but more dreading the actual process, it must be scary being so helpless when someone you love is in so much pain plus if he's seen births on tv quite often there's a lot of screaming and women being nasty to their partners plus the goo covered baby at the end!

Maybe find a few Dad to be websites for him to look at, he might feel more at ease if he is prepared and has a few ideas of how to help you and feel included.

TheScenicRoute Mon 29-Dec-14 20:59:48

I think he's allowed that.
He's going to be the spare part, very little attention on him and he'll be the last person anyone comforts if anything goes off birth plan, it'll be you and the baby first. He'll be on show and maybe he has a role that he's worried about not getting right.

Scarey times for both of you

Give him a cuddle and allow him to be scared, and tell him you are to. X

Newmom2b Mon 29-Dec-14 22:03:49

Thank you ladies, feel better now :-) x

BilboTheAlmighty Tue 30-Dec-14 14:26:49

He is probably nervous as you and the baby are the most important people in the world to him and he will be quite helpless during the birth.

^that. You're the person he loves the most. How hard it must be for our DH to see us in so much pain. My DH confided in me that he's petrified something could happen to me. It's not just women who get scared about horror birth stories. So I don't think your DH is doubting you or anything remotely like that: he's hust concerned smile

Rumplestrumpet Tue 30-Dec-14 15:29:50

I'm with Bilbo (don't say that v. often!), I think it can be really scary for husbands and partners. I've been trying to get my DH to watch One born with me and he just can't bear it (yet strangely I find it reassuring?!). Any mention of labour tenses him up. And I know it's because he loves me so much, feels he has that old fashioned duty to protect me from harm, and can't bear the thought of seeing me in such pain.

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