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Happiness short shocked and hurt

(6 Posts)
BlueDiamond89 Mon 29-Dec-14 12:04:02

My partner and I spilt up 2-3 weeks ago, after I decided I wasn't really happy being in the relationship anymore. We were together for nearly 2 and a half years and already have a 15 month old together.

Although we have split up, we had been getting on very well and had been amicable for the sake of our son.

A few days before we spilt up we had unprotected sex, and 2 days ago I found out I was pregnant. I told my exp and we were both very shocked as it was unplanned. At first he was not sure if he wanted the baby, but then said he did want it and even though we are not together we will get through it.

That same day we agreed to have the baby he went to see his mother to tell her the news, and now he's done a complete 360 and says he does not want the baby, because we are not together and he cannot afford it, and he wants a DNA test as he believes the baby is not his and refuses to be involved with the baby until it's proven the baby is his.

I feel so hurt and shocked by his admissions, I don't know what to do...

Number3cometome Mon 29-Dec-14 12:57:02

Do you want the baby? Are you able to cope alone?

Did you secretly hope that you would get back together or was you going to do this alone anyway?

He's just had someone in his ear by the sound of it.

If you are confident about paternity tell him to pay for a test.


BlueDiamond89 Mon 29-Dec-14 13:21:29

Hi Number3, yes I do want the baby. Regarding being able to cope alone, this is my biggest concern but after speaking to family members I feel I will have the support that I'll need...well I hope!

We agreed that we wasn't going to get back together as we tried before and it didn't work but I was hoping we could co-parent like we're doing now with our son.

I just feel so hurt, I think someone has planted these seeds into his head and now he's going along with it and being a coward because he doesn't want to be a man and face up to his responsibilities.

Number3cometome Mon 29-Dec-14 13:37:14

Well he is very well going to have to!

You stick to your guns and do what is best for you.

sianilovesbeingamummy Mon 29-Dec-14 21:42:56

Im in quite a similar position here hun.

I have 2 children with my ex partner and he is also the father of my unborn child, currently approaching 17weeks.

We had split about a year ago and then got back together in August, I also fell pregnant but realised that he was becoming the person I split from in the first place, controlling, obsessive, jealous etc.... I wrongly though he had changed.

Anyway, I now find myself with a 3yr old, an 18mth old and one on the way. As soon as I ended the relationship my ex said he wanted nothing more to do with me and hasnt seen , spoken or asked about the Children or my unborn... not so much as a Christmas Card...

I find it difficult at times but i also have family support and continue to think I am a lot better off single raising my Children rather than trying to cope with a jealous, adult child too.

I hope it all works out for you. Feel free to message me if you want to chat x

StockingFullOfCoal Mon 29-Dec-14 21:49:05

Oh what a wanker angry

My ex walked out after 4 years when our DDs were 2.5 years and 6 weeks old. It is hard but it is very doable and I actually found my life a lot easier not having to pick his shit up as a single mother.

Tell him he can have his DNA test provided he pays for it. I'd suggest using Cellmark as they are court approved. I had my ex do similar with my eldest (also have 10YO DS from previous relationship) and holy fuck he was genuinely shocked that DS was his as he'd fully convinced himself I was a proper little trollop I'd only had sex with him a few times and he was my first boyfriend in ever sense of the word and he bloody well knew it

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