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Miscarriage and trying again

(17 Posts)
epskie Mon 29-Dec-14 09:19:22

Hi everybody, this is my first post so I hope I'm in the right place. I had a miscarriage on Christmas day at 11 weeks pregnant :-(
I feel so sad and empty and I feel the only way to get over this is by trying again but I am terrified. Has anybody on here tried again straight after a miscarriage and would you share your experience with me please?
Also, has anybody joined the Facebook group 'trying again'? I've requested to join but haven't been added as yet.
Thanks in advance for your replies x

upthewolves Mon 29-Dec-14 09:33:55

Hi epskie I have not been through this but just wanted to say I'm so sorry about what has happened and I wish you all the best with this flowers

I'm sure there are lots of MNers who will be able to help.

Catgirl83 Mon 29-Dec-14 09:34:13

Hi epskie! I came on here to ask the exact same questions- I miscarried on Christmas Eve. There is a really positive thread that I've just read a bit further down the main page and it seems lots of women go on to conceive again really quickly. It's made me feel a bit better reading it.

Catgirl83 Mon 29-Dec-14 09:36:18

The thread is called 'pregnant after a miscarriage'. Good luck and best wishes.

RiverRocks Mon 29-Dec-14 11:25:10

I'm so sorry to hear about your losses flowers

Miscarriage is shitty at any time, but particularly Christmas.

Some people try again straight away and get pregnant, others it takes a few months for their bodies to get back to normal. Some drs advise to wait until you've had a period but this seems to be for ease of dating rather than a specific medical reason.

There is a miscarriage/pregnancy loss section in Body & Health. The ladies there are lovely and supportive, and will be able to answer any questions.

I had a mmc in April, had the operation as my body just didn't realise. We waited a month, because that was what we needed to do, and started trying again. Got pregnant 2nd cycle and I'm now 27 weeks. I'm not enjoying the pregnancy as I'm still terrified it will go wrong. Someone on the miscarriage board once said having a miscarriage takes the innocence out of pregnancy, and unfortunately for us that has been true.

Take care of yourselves, and all the best for when you start trying again xx

Thumperroo Mon 29-Dec-14 11:30:21

Hi epskie, sorry for your loss. I sadly miscarried twins just before Christmas last year it was an awful time and felt like my world had ended. My Dh and I decided to try again in the new year and we got a bfp early March and I write this with our 8 week old ds in my arms! I was very anxious to try again and terrified I would miscarry again. I developed severe morning sickness and was hospitalized 3 times however I saw all this as a positive and began to relax after our twelve week scan. Wishing you all the luck in the world and when you get that bfp try not to worry, relax and talk to the people around you about how you feel, it will ease your stress. Good luck!

babyblabber Mon 29-Dec-14 11:49:00

So sorry for your loss. I had a miscarraige on Christmas Eve a couple of years ago, not nice at any time but christmas makes it even harder. We didn't try again then as it was an unplanned pregnancy but unfortunately I had another miscarraige in March for a very planned pregnsncy. My doc said I could try straight away (had D&C at 10 weeks) but I worked out that I would have been due at Christmas and with two young kids at home I didn't want to chance bring in hospital for Christmas.

So I waited to have one period, which took 6 weeks to arrive and then I did ovulation tests as I knew my cycle would be a bit off. I ovulated late on day 20 I think and got pregnant straight away. First trimester was very very nerve wrecking but am now 4 weeks away from meeting our baby!

Best of luck, go easy on yourself. Might be an idea to plan a holiday or something if you can so you're not focused solely on pregnancy as it can take over your entire mind!

thesmallbear Mon 29-Dec-14 15:17:28

Hi OP, I had a MMC in June. We decided to try again a couple of months later (although no reason you can't try again straight away if you want to). I'm now pregnant again 13 + 4. I went for my scan today and bean is wriggly and healthy fsmile

The 'TTC after a MC' thread on the conception board was a lifeline to me when we started trying again.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2241713-ttc-after-mc-the-best-shit-place-to-be-2

slightlyconfused85 Mon 29-Dec-14 15:23:17

Hi I'm so sorry for your loss. I miscarried at 6 weeks at the end of September and fell pregnant 3 weeks later. I am now 11 weeks along, so not out the woods yet but this pregnancy is going along fine so far, feel much more pregnant. I wouldn't wait if you don't want to, as long as you have stopped bleeding and feel comfortable. The likelihood of it happening a second time is quite low

thesmallbear Mon 29-Dec-14 15:32:31

Oh forgot to say... you do need to wait till you get a negative pregnancy test before you start trying again. The pregnancy hormone can stay in your system for a while after you've lost the baby.

LuckyAugust Mon 29-Dec-14 16:34:28

I am so sorry for your loss. I miscarried a couple of years ago at 5/6 weeks. We started trying again as soon as I stopped bleeding and 6 weeks later I got my bfp (ds2!). Earlier this year we had another loss with what should have been dc3 although I was a bit further on this time. Once again we were heartbroken and I was desperate to start trying again but dh wanted to wait a few months. Four months later I got my bfp and am now 34 weeks. For me I 'needed' to be pregnant again- even though when you do get that bfp you're more terrified than ever!!! (and in my case that terror has never really gone away- probably won't until I hold my little fella safely in my arms). Wishing you lots of luck and happiness in your future x

Brummiegirl15 Mon 29-Dec-14 16:59:15

I'm so so sorry for your loss. I've had 2 miscarriages this year and I'm now pregnant again, nearly 9 weeks so I feel your grief and pain.

Please do look at the thread highlighted above by smallbear as it was an absolute lifeline to me in my darkest days.

The only piece of advice I would offer is be kind to yourself, take your time and before you start trying again please please do a home pregnancy test to ensure its negative do you have a fresh start. I've seen too many ladies on these threads get really distressed when they think they might have fallen pregnant again straight away but actually the hormones haven't decreased.

In my first MC it took 7 days to get a negative, but my 2nd it took 16 days. That was really hard but I am pregnant again.

Big hugs xx

sianihedgehog Tue 30-Dec-14 13:00:10

I had a miscarriage in September and started trying again as soon as I'd stopped bleeding and had a negative test. Pregnant again now (found out start of December) , but I have to admit that I've been going insane with anxiety since I found out. I don't regret just trying again straight away at all, because I'm in my late 30s and I'm aware that time is running out, but it might have been less stressful if I'd waited a bit.

LinaDee Tue 30-Dec-14 13:08:41

Hi epskie
I'm so sorry for your loss.

I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks back on the 22nd of June and I had an ERPC on 23rd June. I felt exactly the same as you describe.

My husband and I didn't wait and began trying again right away. I got my first period after that on the 1st of August and fell pregnant during that cycle. My baby is due in May so it CAN happen very quickly.

I hope you take the time you need to heal and grieve for your lost baby. It's a very difficult thing to come through. Use the support of the loved ones around you.
When you do become pregnant again, be prepared for how you will feel.
The first 12 weeks of this pregnancy for me were very difficult. I was very tense, worried and emotional. I hope everything goes well for you x

Halfpastthelegofmyshirt Tue 30-Dec-14 15:46:38

I tried again straight again after a 10 week mmc. I was very lucky in that it worked straight away and I went on to have my baby.

BUT it took a long time for me to get over the mmc despite a successful pregnancy. I was in hospital with my baby on the first anniversary of the mmc and I still cried, despite having a lovely newborn in my arms.

Good luck for the future x

chdmum2491 Tue 30-Dec-14 17:34:37

i mc in september and just found out yday that im pregnant again ! dont know what to make of it, fingers crossed !

Mummytogoldie Tue 30-Dec-14 20:48:56

I miscarried the 1st of December and found out the 27th December that I am pregnant again, so it can happen quick!! I am scared stiff though and do not have a scan for 2 weeks x sorry for everyone's losses. sad

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