Talk

Advanced search

Pregnant? See how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy with the Mumsnet Pregnancy Calendar.

Anyone else not finding out the sex?

(48 Posts)
dillydollydarling Sun 28-Dec-14 09:35:56

Since before me and dp started ttc we said that when we had kids, we would like it to be a surprise. Now that I'm actually pregnant (5 weeks today) we are determined that we will not find out the sex of our baby until s/he is born. My mum is really pleased about this!

I know loads of people that find out the sex and then name their baby before it's even born. But I would worry that they'd got it wrong, and then you'd be stuck with loads of pink/blue stuff!

Anyone else waiting until birth to find out the sex?

Alyx80 Sun 28-Dec-14 10:10:56

I'm 36 weeks with my 4th and haven't found out with any. I think it's a great surprise and I love the speculation lol. The moments we've been told the sex of the baby at the birth has just been amazing!

Showy Sun 28-Dec-14 10:15:42

In my experience, as many people find out as don't. It's just down to personal preference and whatever works for you as a couple. It's no more magical or special or better either way. It's just what suits you.

Bear in mind as well that you can buy clothes which aren't pink and blue winkgrin and you can dress any baby in any colour! Really, the reasons why people find out are often nothing to do with wanting to buy gender specific clothes or pick a name, not in isolation anyway.

It's brilliant that you know what you want to do and you're certainly not alone. Of all the people I know expecting atm, there's roughly a 50/50 split.

Although, it's worth remembering that sometimes you don't get a choice. I didn't want to know with dc2. The fact that in utero the baby had a penis and testicles and they were completely obvious and you could even see him having a wee, rather took away any of the illusion of surprise.

Bicnod Sun 28-Dec-14 10:16:55

I'm due DC3 tomorrow confused and don't know the sex. Didn't find out for the other two either. You don't get many surprises in life grin

WorryWurta Sun 28-Dec-14 10:17:05

29 weeks and we never found out. Personally I did it because I want to raise the kid as gender neutral as possible anyway, however it has turned into a fun game for people to guess too! My mum raced a pink and a blue hyacinth bulb to see which would sprout first (the pink one won, so I guess the baby will like pink?!)

Elledouble Sun 28-Dec-14 10:18:54

We're having a surprise too. I can understand why people find out - I had a little bit of a wobble just before the 20wk scan, but decided not to.

Everyone (apart from my partner!) is convinced it's a girl, though!

babyblabber Sun 28-Dec-14 10:22:34

I'm 35 weeks with number 3. Never found out the sex on the other two but I accidentally found out about a month ago this time. DH doesn't want to know so he's still in the dark. Have told one of my best friends as needed to tell someone!

I much prefer not knowing and wish I didn't know this one! It's good in a practical way, I have one of each and know that I inly need to wash the girl stuff! But I LOVE the surprise. The moment they say it's a boy/girl is just magical and then making all the phonecalls to tell people! I hate knowing in advance what other people are having, birth announcement not nearly as exciting.

Showy Sun 28-Dec-14 10:30:13

Really babyblabber? Not doubting you but I'm surprised. The excitement in a birth announcement for me is in that the mother and the baby are healthy and well. I would never find it less exciting due to something as arbitrary as the baby's sex being revealed or not revealed at birth.

WorryWurta, interestingly, I'm quite keen on the whole gender neutral thing too which is part of the reason I found out at the 20 week scan. I don't see the baby's sex as anything particularly noteworthy so finding out dd had girl bits was no different to finding out she had the right number of valves in her heart or long legs or that she was sucking her thumb. It told us nothing apart from which side of a 50/50 divide she settled on. It meant nothing for who she was or how we felt about her. Which I guess just exemplifies how much of a personal decision finding out is.

perplexedpirate Sun 28-Dec-14 10:39:18

I didn't find out because I wasn't remotely bothered.
If pushed, I would have guessed a girl but when DH said 'it's a boy' I was like 'oh, of course!'. grin

BadIdeaBear Sun 28-Dec-14 11:24:21

We are not intending to find out and hoping not to get the accidental 'reveal' at a scan. My DSC are also well up for a surprise, which I find very cool. I also have a strong preference for a gender-neutral approach so would like to avoid the pink/ blue overload, and stay with nice greens/ yellows/ browns. Not that it's about the colours, of course, it's about the typecasting.

angelopal Sun 28-Dec-14 11:44:27

We never found out both times. Although our trust do not tell you so would have had to go private.

I really enjoyed the surprise each time.

Skeppers Sun 28-Dec-14 11:47:57

We're planning on finding out ASAP and regardless of whether it's a boy or a girl we are going to stick with our planned non-gender specific colours of mossy green and earthy browns and sunshine yellows! grin

We're only finding out because we are the world's absolute worst at making decisions- even with the most simple things- so need as much time as possible to think about names!

Stillyummy Sun 28-Dec-14 11:49:57

We found out because I could tell my husband wanted to know. He never forced the issue but said he feels more bonded with the baby for knowing. I was not fussed about finding out either way- as long as it was healthy. Nothing you can do about it anyway lol

WorryWurta Sun 28-Dec-14 11:52:14

I respect your approach Showy, like you say very personal. Our families are not massively onboard with the gender neutral approach lol so since I'm no good at keeping secrets not finding out was the simplest way to keep all preparations gender neutral and keep the fam on board.

Showy Sun 28-Dec-14 12:21:55

Our families are a strange mix. We're not militant about being gender neutral, just prefer to let the dc develop an interest in whatever suits. Mostly the family have been okay with this and support the dc in their unique interests but one family member is pretty aghast at the fact that our 3yo ds adores pink for example. His grandma knitted him the most amazing striped pink jumper for Christmas and he refuses to take it off even at bed time. The other family member was very tight lipped except for a curt "well let's hope he grows out of it - all of it - very soon". Best of luck Wurta, sure it will be smashing. smile

babyblabber Sun 28-Dec-14 12:49:55

Yeah showy defo think its not as exciting. Of course the main thing is that everyone is healthy & if it's s good friend I'm dying to talk to them about how it all went down but getting a text call to say "it's a girl and her name is..." Is definitely more exciting to me than "she's here" especially if I already knew/had an idea of the name. I think the not knowing and all the guessing is quite fun.

coastergirl Sun 28-Dec-14 12:53:07

I'm 28 weeks and we haven't found out. I want my husband to tell me when baby is born. The vast majority of people I know have found out, and all for the reasons of buying gender specific clothes, decorating, choosing a name etc.

Newlywed56 Sun 28-Dec-14 12:57:13

We aren't finding out either smile its our first baby and we don't really have a definite reason for not wanting to know we just thought it will be a nice surprise when the little one makes an appearance! All the best for your pregnancy flowers

dillydollydarling Sun 28-Dec-14 14:02:56

Interesting hearing about everyone's reasons for finding out/not finding out.

We're not particularly wanting to have a gender-neutral approach, just want a surprise when baby arrives. Even if we did find out the sex, I wouldn't want everything to be blue or pink.

m33r Sun 28-Dec-14 14:10:40

We found out because i simply couldn't wait so got my surprise at the twenty week mark that it was a boy! Since then though I've found it has made me bond with him (he's also named after my FIL so that wasn't a secret for anyone either) and also other family members who very much talk about little m33r.

Each to their own though - I half thought if I had another I'd wait but know deep down I just couldn't!! grin

JennyBlueWren Sun 28-Dec-14 14:20:02

I'm 32 weeks and don't know sex. Where we are you have to go private if you want to find out anyway. I wouldn't mind if I did know but wouldn't go all "pink for girls/blue for boys" about it. I don't feel excited by the surprise (I'm too scared of labour/caring for a newborn!) but people seem to enjoy speculating.

CherryLips1980 Sun 28-Dec-14 14:20:54

I'm 23+6 and not finding out. I felt a bit gutted when DD was born and because we knew she was a girl there was no 'It's a...!' style ...thing. I know that sounds ridiculous. I think she was about 20 minutes old before we suddenly went 'um, it IS a girl, right...?' and checked!

We're trying to sort DD's room out at the moment as she has so much STUFF - we haven't thrown out or given anything away just in case we need it this time and tbh every so often I wish we knew so I could get rid of some stuff but I'll be cross with myself now if we find out wink

Problem is we have absolutely no inspiration for names either way. This baby is in danger of being known as #2 forever.

applecore0317 Sun 28-Dec-14 16:50:25

We found out as we are way too impatient, for us it was enough of a surprise finding out I am pregnant, allbeit a nice surprise :D

I'm not particularly gender neutral either, not something that really bothers me. I was dressed in girly colours and patterns as a baby and I don't dress that way now, am also not particularly girly

MsDeedles Mon 29-Dec-14 16:59:59

27 weeks here and not going to find out. I know my Brother and SiL are having a little girl next month, and her name but I want a surprise.

Pegglebot Mon 29-Dec-14 17:50:50

I'm 35 weeks with number 3 and I've not found out. I've seen between the legs now twice at scans but haven't spotted anything either way. I can't wait to find out at the birth, I wish I'd done it this way the first two times I've found the build up much more exciting.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: