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Feeling unsupported through my morning sickness

(19 Posts)
nanceweir Sun 28-Dec-14 02:55:33

I'm feeling a bit down with the way my family and friends are treating my morning sickness. I'm 10 weeks pregnant and ever since week 5 I've been constantly nauseous and have the appetite of a sparrow. I'm always retching and find it hard to concentrate due to lack of energy from not eating.
I've been signed off work by the doctor for 5 weeks for this. There's no way I'm going in when I feel like this - I work in a call centre and I know I'd be cutting customers off to run to the toilet (the chances of me being physically sick are small as it doesn't happen often but I'm so terrified of throwing up in public I've barely left the house) or start retching.
I was slightly overweight 6 weeks ago and I've lost a stone since - everyone can see this straight away and they comment on how much slimmer I look.
But I'm getting a really hard time off my mum for taking time off work. She is constantly asking me when I'm going back and I just have to tell her when I feel better. Some of the things my sister and my female cousins have said to me are: 'you just need to get on with it', 'it's called being a woman', 'pregnancy is a condition not an illness.'
I'm sick fed up of people judging my ability to work when my doctor has attested that I'm not fit for work. On top of all this I get no sympathy from my husband who thinks I'm being a drama queen and that I should get up off my arse and do more housework since I'm off work.
I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired!! Need some advice from you lovely ladies here on how to handle this smile

comeagainforbigfudge Sun 28-Dec-14 05:44:34

You poor soul. That not very nice at all. Some times I wish people would use an inner monologue before they opened their gobs and check what they saying before they say it.

Have some flowers

Also look for the hyperemesis thread on the pregnancy board. Lots of lovely ladies who give fabulous support.

If it's any help I've felt awful with sickness. Needing anti sickness tablets to get thru it. I'm now 16 weeks and just starting to feel like I'm turning a corner. You will get there.

Plus if your doctor says you're not fit to work then you're not fit to work.
Just start congratulating these nay'sayers on their surprise medical degree.

I'm on a night shift and rather grumpy so trying to tame my cheeky retort but would probably tell them all to feck off tbh

purplemurple1 Sun 28-Dec-14 06:25:24

Can you explain it to them in simple terms that this isn't normal preg morning sickness it is an extra complication your doctor has diagnosed and said you need to rest for the sake of the baby?
I think when people had only had easy pregs they think all pregnancies are the same and can lack the empathy chip a little. Doesn't help that we are all accustomed to thinking weight loss is a good thing when in reality it's prob making you tired and more unwell.

Gemzybelle Sun 28-Dec-14 06:50:03

If you were nauseous and/or vomiting for any other reason people would expect you to stay off work.

Alas, as is the case with most pregnancy related things you are just expected to put up with it. Well just because its natural/ pregnancy isn't an illness etc etc doesn't make it pleasant!

Tell them all to sod off, rest plenty and be kind to yourself if nobody else is going to be. Take care


hopefull2424 Sun 28-Dec-14 07:40:15

I can totally empathise with you. I'm almost 11 weeks abd feel dreadful. My Dr signed me onto half days at work until Christmas but if I still feel ill after im taking some time off.
Nobody should treat you like that, you should be given all the support especially from your family.
My dh has had his moments where we have argued because he thinks im being lazy or using it as an excuse, but I say down with him and explained im growing a person! And also has two other pregnancies before so would not pretend to be ill unless I am. I also told him how fed up I feel with myself for feeling so ill. It seemed to go in because he has been making a huge effort since.
Hun, take the time you need to rest, try and eat what you can and ignore those negative people around you. You could try your gp for anti nausea meds to as they can sometimes help. I really hope your feeling better soon xxx

comeagainforbigfudge Sun 28-Dec-14 08:37:06

Oh dear. OP I've just realised my post was not helpful in the slightest. Don't even know what I was trying to say. Bloomin nigh shift brain

You will get through this. Just tell oh that he can say that once he's had to grow another human inside him. Hmpff

I'm away to bed in the hopes that my OH will get up sooner rather than later

nanceweir Sun 28-Dec-14 08:56:01

No, thank you for your advice, it's appreciated. Hope you get a good sleep after your night shift!
And thank you everyone for making me feel better. My GP went as far as saying she would only prescribe meds if I ended up in hospital so I don't think even she is taking me seriously.
hopefully this passes after the first trimester and I can start to live my life again. Love to all you ladies with sickness flowers

MissYamabuki Sun 28-Dec-14 08:57:36

Your cousins obviously had easy pregnancies and don't know how lucky they were. Tell them you are following expert medical advice and that you are all ears if they know better. It works better if you vomit on them fgrin

Sit down with your husband and tell him clearly what your needs are - emotional support, chores and meals done for you, rest, fluids etc. That's what he should be doing, not having a go at you! Anybody who's been signed off work for 5 blooming weeks is clearly too poorly to "just get on with it".

Lottiedoubtie Sun 28-Dec-14 09:06:21

Please see a different GP, the nice guidelines recommend early use of anti-sickness drugs. Some GPs would rather just sign you off and not give drugs, it's ignorance of the facts.

I had Hypermesis and was signed off from work from 7-22weeks when I went back part time. I was on drugs from week 12-delivery, I really wish I'd started the drugs earlier as whilst they aren't magic they do offer some relief.

Please go over to the hypermesis support thread here, the posters there are amazing and definitely kept me sane throughout pregnancy. They won't care if you've been officially diagnosed with HG or not, being as poorly as you are very definitely 'counts'!

comeagainforbigfudge Sun 28-Dec-14 13:25:17

Nancweir I have a friend who is not getting any anti-sickness either. And she's been same as you. Off with a sick line.

Her gp said it was because she could keep water down. Whereas I couldn't keep anything down including water.

Try again with gp and highlight that you've lost so much weight!!

Or get a new gp.

Chillyegg Sun 28-Dec-14 13:35:35

I feel your pain flowers I remember throwing up violently in morrisons car park and then having to walk home! I got some very funny looks! Your doing the right thing and looking after yourself! Go back to the gp and badger them! See if they can help you!

kalidasa Sun 28-Dec-14 14:07:57

Poor you nance. Come and find the lovely HG thread. And really the modern advice is that if you are unable to function normally you should be on medication. There are several things you can try which are completely safe and which might really take the edge off it for you. I have had very severe HG twice (35+5 in second pg now and still ill) and even though it is the vomiting that is the really dangerous bit from a medical perspective, I think almost every woman who's had it would agree that it is the relentless nausea that is the worst.

BumWad Sun 28-Dec-14 16:07:29

Poor you. It's crap isn't it? Not as much sickness for me but I am finding the sheer exhaustion really difficult to contend with. Everybody else at my work that have been pregnant seem to have had such easy pregnancies, working all hours no illnesses. And then there's me with my migraines and constant sleepiness. It is really really tough I am in a managerial position so feel like I have to be a martyr sometimes.

Not a very useful post ha but know a little of how you feel flowers

capecath Sun 28-Dec-14 20:43:25

Sorry you're feeling rubbish... It is a really hard phase, but it should pass and second trimester should get better.... Try to rest wherever you can and go to bed early. You may not feel like eating but not letting yourself get hungry actually really helps your feelings of nausea. Small amounts, regularly. Eat whatever you're feeling like - I found something bland like rich teas or butter on toast or potatoes calmed my tummy. Keep drinking fluids. With DS2 I'd usually throw up once a day, late afternoon. What usually just phlegm. TMI hmm. This usually actually made me feel better (as horrible as throwing up is)! Hang in there...

ToriB34 Sun 28-Dec-14 20:59:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ToriB34 Sun 28-Dec-14 20:59:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZebraZeebra Sun 28-Dec-14 21:39:46

I think until people experience it, they just can't imagine how awful it is. With DS - my first - I just had heart burn for three months. I'm now 30 weeks with DC2 and have had morning sickness up to 25 weeks. It has nearly killed me! It's like having food poisoning for five or six months!

I think also there tends to be a lot of disparaging masochism when it comes to certain kinds of women and pregnancy. These are the kind of women who will harp on to a first time mother how dreadful labour is hmm

Try to tune it all out, OP. You know how awful you feel, you don't need to justify it to anyone. I'm sorry you're feeling so ill, and I hope it passes in the next couple of weeks as you move into the second trimester. For most, it does so crossing my fingers you feel better soon.

elizabethsmum Mon 29-Dec-14 11:16:49

nance so sorry you are suffering. lack of support will just make you feel worse. please come over to join us on the hyperemesis thread as kali and lottie have already suggested x

Number3cometome Mon 29-Dec-14 11:23:18

I think your GP is wrong not to prescribe you meds.

I was violently sick for just two days before my GP handed over some anti sickness tablets (I do have a heart condition and couldn't keep down ANY water or medication)

I allowed myself to throw up, then quickly took an anti sickness tablet, the first one didn't stay down, but the second one did!! I then defo turned a corner with sickness.

I have stopped the tablets now, and although I feel nauseous I haven't been physically sick since Boxing day (and even then I was just sick after breakfast, and not again)

Sometimes the nausea alone is enough to make you want to curl up and hide!!! Lucky for all those people commenting to you that they didn't get it, next time they get a sickness bug or cold tell them to stop being drama queens and see how they like it!

My sister was not very sympathetic either - she was like "Oh sickness, yeah I didn't get that, how comes you are so sick this time but wasn't with your others?" Err yeah thanks.

OH thankfully has been amazing, this is his first baby so he is keen to make sure I am able to eat and baby is growing!

Please see your GP again, you need support and tell them other horrible bastards to leave you the feck alone, or just cover them in vom grin


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