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Feel like a Grade A bitch...

(10 Posts)
Skeppers Sat 27-Dec-14 16:59:28

I'm currently sat at home having cried off my good friend's birthday drinks tonight because I'm 8 wks and not ready to tell people yet. I've literally only told my sister because she's trustworthy and won't make a fuss. I've made some pathetic half-arsed excuse about having a migraine which I'm sure my friend can see right through. There's no way I could have gone; there would have only been 6 of us, I've already used my arsenal of excuses for not drinking with them twice already this Xmas...I've a reputation for being a bit of a boozer normally and it's a 'cheese and wine' evening (!) so wouldn't stand a chance. Feel like a massive bitch and I hate lying to people. She probably thinks I hate her now. It sucks. fsad Please reassure me I'm not a horrible person!?

BingBongMerrilyOnHigh Sat 27-Dec-14 17:03:15

Can you tell them you're not feeling well at present, hence the migraines? Or perhaps a convenient course of medication? Is your friend the sort who would tell others or could you trust her?

comeagainforbigfudge Sat 27-Dec-14 17:16:35

You are most certainly not a horrible person!! And once your friend knows she'll be all "ah so that's why you never came to cheese and wine", she may even squeal with excitement first and give you a huge big squidgy hug.

Don't fret about it, a good friend will always understand.

congratulations!! flowers

anothernumberone Sat 27-Dec-14 17:19:48

If you want to go just 'feel a bit better' and go along but be no well enough to drink. Then she will know you have made a big effort to get out of your sick bed to see her. It won't be long now.

anothernumberone Sat 27-Dec-14 17:20:18

no = not

callamia Sat 27-Dec-14 17:28:59

You're not a horrible person, but you could certainly lie a bit more. It's a time-honoured ritual of early pregnancy.
Good friends will totally know already, and be sweet and discreet enough to let you tell them in your own time.

anothergenericname Sat 27-Dec-14 18:20:11

Or, and there are good reasons for doing this, just tell her you can't drink because you're pregnant. If she's that good a friend, then you may be grateful she knows if you have a rough time from pregnancy sickness or, heaven forbid, anything happens.

I told my close friends with my second pregnancy, then when I lost the baby early on (before the 12 week mark) I was so grateful I could just turn to them, it meant they knew how excited I had been and could support me in my grief. It also meant I didn't have to lie about anything.

With this pregnancy I told them again, which meant I could call for their help and sympathy when I started vomiting at 5 weeks and kept it up for 10 weeks!! It's fairly recent to not tell anyone until after your 12 week scan. Previously you'd have just told people once you knew.

Do what suits you. If you don;t want to go out, then don't. She'll understand when you tell her. Just don't feel you have to take this course.

Skeppers Sat 27-Dec-14 18:23:59

I do have a feeling she knows already, to be honest. She's been very good about it, but she's now worried I have norovirus (cos I've been 'sick' for so long)! I've worn the antibiotics excuse to death. Thanks for the reassurance. I just genuinely really hate lying. It'll be a relief when I have my first scan, finally know what's going on and can tell people if necessary!

Skeppers Sat 27-Dec-14 18:29:38

I know what you mean about the whole 'not telling people til 12 weeks' thing...I never really understood it either, but this particular friend- as much as I love her- does tend to make a bit of a drama out of things whereas I'm more pragmatic and just get on with stuff. Think this is why I chose to tell my sister; she's very practical like me, rather than emotional like my friend. If something did go wrong I'd rather have someone who'd tell me to buck my ideas up and get back on the proverbial horse, iyswim, rather than let me wallow in self-pity. That's just my way though, everyone's different! I'm also a bit paranoid about telling people early as I'm not having many symptoms (just sore boobs and going to the loo a lot) and I'm convinced I'm going to have the scan and there'll be nowt there after all...

TheScenicRoute Sat 27-Dec-14 19:06:03

Has your friend had children herself? She would so understand in retrospect when you do tell her if so. If not, she might not quite get it as much, but in time she will reflect back and understand.

Only 3 more weeks to lay low and explain all.

I had a grade A bitch moment about 9 weeks when everyone at work kept coming in with D&V and not going home. I lost it! Everyone throughly thought I was a bit of a loser and gone mental.... But in retrospect they all got it!

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