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Obsessed about pregnancy..??

(28 Posts)
Mrsgentle2014 Fri 26-Dec-14 18:11:59

Hi - some advice needed to confirm I'm not insane!
Newly married, 25 and diagnosed with endometriosis last year.
Always adamant we weren't having children until I was at least 30.. But since getting married I've become like a crazy lady - it's all I think about, dream about, all the time.
In recent months my endometriosis has become a daily struggle to control the pain so I'm not sure whether it is that that is pushing me more towards having children sooner? I had to come off all contraceptive hormones in August because of it too!
It doesn't help that my OH is very anti children at the moment - if I were to be pregnant, it would cause a huge divide.

Is this normal, or am I just broody? Broody way before and way worse than I ever thought I would be?

honeysucklejasmine Fri 26-Dec-14 18:18:13

Yeah I had this too. I think it was because in my head I would only ever have babies when married, so as soon as I was marrieds, the fever hit!

I also had endo and had second lap for it just after our honeymoon. Of was largely a failure and Dr said no more to be done short of investigating my bowels and maybe starting to remove that too! So it can down to potential ileostomy, mind bending pain or baby. DH said much as he didn't really want baby now, he did not want me to be in pain, so now we are TTC. If I didn't have endo I think we would have waited a bit longer. TTC is taking a while and in that time dh has adjusted and has baby fever too.

Mrsgentle2014 Fri 26-Dec-14 18:22:19

This is the thing.. I've only had one lap for my endo, my only option now is just a tens machine for the pain, induced into early menopause and HRT for the rest of my life or hysterectomy!
I think that's something to do with it sad
My OH is SO anti, to the point where I think it could split us up... He just does not want it. If I try talking about it he says "don't worry, you'll be fine" - burying his head in the sand.
Since I've been married, I'm just obsessed! X

GlitzAndGigglesx Fri 26-Dec-14 18:22:27

I have a friend exactly the same as you. Since she was diagnosed she's been desperate for a baby although a year ago she said she wants to wait a few years. Her partner isn't too keen on the idea though but I think she's having treatment soon

Mrsgentle2014 Fri 26-Dec-14 18:25:19

I suddenly feel like I'm on borrowed time... I had a termination when I was 18 (my OH baby) so feel like if I were to fall pregnant now, it would be tempting fate and I could never go through that again... It was right at the time, but not something I ever want to have to decide on or experience again sad
Just don't know what to do?

honeysucklejasmine Fri 26-Dec-14 18:33:32

Do you think your OH will ever want children? sad with my DH he just wasn't planning on it just yet so it was easier to convince him to move forward.

It has to come down to what your dh is prepared to sacrifice. Your health or his timeline. sad

Mrsgentle2014 Fri 26-Dec-14 18:36:14

When we first met, he didn't want any - but then he never wanted UK get married or move in with anyone either and we've been living together for 3/5 years and married for 6 months....
I get what he says - we want to travel and love abroad got a bit... Br I don't know how much longer I can go with the pain to then suddenly try and not be able to conceive you know?
Which is why - and this sounds terrible - I hope I'm pregnant accidentally every month so that it is taken out of our hands? Awful isn't it? Lol x

honeysucklejasmine Fri 26-Dec-14 18:55:43

Not at all sweety. The pain is like no other, and it is really hard for him to understand.

If you got pregnant by accident do you think he would want to keep it? (I would not advocate getting pregnant by "accident" BTW) If he would then he really needs to think about why he is prepared to see you in pain every month and eventually undergo major surgery from which there is no return.

If his desire to stay child free is stronger than his regard for your wellbeing then for both your sakes, I think you would need to have quite a serious talk.

Mrsgentle2014 Fri 26-Dec-14 19:20:52

By accident I mean without trying and without knowing just suddenly find out one month that I was... I'm not on a pill and we tend to start off without a condom and then put one on half way through because we both hate them! So by accident I mean.. Fate lol he already knows that the next time in pregnant, it's happening and I'm going full steam ahead wth it - falling pregnant on my pill at 18 and going through a termination is not something I ever want to decide on... It doesn't stop him saying "having a baby would ruin my life" but then he was from quite an abusive household and, although he won't admit it, is scared of being the sort of dad his dad was - although he is already nothing like him!
Just hoping Fate steps in and takes all the decisions out of my hands and my head, you know?

Mrsgentle2014 Fri 26-Dec-14 19:23:31

It doesn't help that this month I'm bloated, with waves of nausea and exhausted as well as having tender boobs - all of which, my friend pointed out to me, was what I was like the first time round!
Too much going round in my head!

honeysucklejasmine Fri 26-Dec-14 23:06:26

I see i see! Have you done a test? wink

Mrsgentle2014 Fri 26-Dec-14 23:18:48

BFN - that was on Monday though... Not entirely sure where I am in my cycle as they have been so all over the place since coming off my pill in August!

Mrsgentle2014 Sat 27-Dec-14 08:38:20

also wasn't aware that vivid dreams could be an early sign? The last week or so, I have been reduced to tears by some of them and how realistic they are sad
Mega veiny boobs the last few days too! Ahhh, gotta wait until tomorrow to test though...
Before AF, I only tend to get a little bit bloated, constipated and a few cramps - no constipation and cramping? Was due on in December 25.. So a few days late!

Mrsgentle2014 Sat 27-Dec-14 09:06:02

My CM tends to disappear prior to AF too - but no - there is tons of it!!
manic symptom watcher over here
Goodness me!

Mrsgentle2014 Sat 27-Dec-14 22:55:49

So bloated this evening, boobs are so sore and veiny and keep having mega waves of nausea sad

IrritatedPartyOf1 Sat 27-Dec-14 23:59:02

Have you done another test?

Mrsgentle2014 Sun 28-Dec-14 10:08:41

Another one today... BFN. I'm notorious for not showing on a test until 8 weeks though! Just don't feel right, my boobs are so so tender and I'm bloated beyond belief - only been like this when I've been pregnant sad

BatteryPoweredHen Sun 28-Dec-14 18:27:43

Sorry OP, but he sounds really selfish. Making you wait until you are well past your most fertile years before even starting to try, in the full knowledge that you will likely have issues conceiving anyway is a really unkind thing to do.

In your position, I would be having some couple's counselling, as it can sometimes take an independent third party to spell it out.

Your chance of motherhood really isn't something to play russian roulette with.

IrritatedPartyOf1 Wed 31-Dec-14 15:49:07

Are you still having the same symptoms MrsGentle? I hope you get the results you want soon.

Mrsgentle2014 Wed 31-Dec-14 16:38:27

Hey! Still suffering.. No AF but BFN only this morning.
I had a glass of wine at lunch today - tastes like vinegar! And even the lemonade made me feel queasy and I usually love it! Still getting waves of nausea and the most vivid dreams - I wake up crying! Had to buy new jeans as I'm so bloated, I don't fit in mine anymore! sad

Mrsgentle2014 Wed 31-Dec-14 18:27:24

So fed up sad
Feel so sicky and bloated... Had crampy pain for over a week now and sore boobs too... Didn't BFP until over 8 weeks with my first pregnancy but feel, because my cycles are all over the place, I'm at the doctors most months with "I'm feeling sick and I'm late..." They are gonna ban me soon!
Hate the limbo!
My last cycle was 52 days and AF only brought on by a transvaginal scan, which only lasted 2 days and was very light... It's just so messed up!

IrritatedPartyOf1 Thu 01-Jan-15 16:09:32

I'd definitely go to your GP and request bloods to be done and for a referral to a gynaecologist.

Mrsgentle2014 Thu 01-Jan-15 18:01:10

I've got adenomyosis and endometriosis so I'm under gynae anyway.. They don't seem too fussed - my mental and emotional state is taking a battering lol just very frustrating! sad

cooperjay Fri 02-Jan-15 02:42:16

Didn't you post just a couple of weeks ago saying you thought you were in labour? confused

Mrsgentle2014 Fri 02-Jan-15 03:26:02

I did - but that was my friend who doesn't have an account. She was round mine and had the back pain all day and evening. I told her about mumsnet, so she posted on mine - she wasn't in labour thankfully! I'm a nurse, but would panic if she suddenly starting crowning on my living room floor smile x

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