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10 weeks and worried I have harmed baby by getting stressed/angry

(20 Posts)
BotBotticelli Tue 23-Dec-14 08:27:36

Please help - am 10 weeks pregnant and had a stressful day yesterday. DH did something that really pissed me off and I properly yelled at him.

And then I spent a really annoying 45 mins on a phone call to a holiday company call centre in India trying to get someone to help me rearrange my holiday for next year cos I can't fly when planned cos I am pregnant now.

They were useless and I ended up yelling at them too.

Anyway after this I got up from the sofa and felt a sharp stabbing pain in my uterus area.

I am really worried that I have harmed the baby, by getting so stressed and angry.

My 12 week scan is not for a couple of weeks and I am terrified now of finding a MMC and it being my fault for not staying all calm and zen-like, like you're supposed to when you're pregnant :-(

Please can someone give me a slap and tell me not to be silly? You can't harm your baby just by shouting and getting stressed can you?

But if not - what was the sharp pain in my womb??

KittyandTeal Tue 23-Dec-14 08:33:40

You are being silly (in the nicest possible way) a little bit if stress won't affect the baby.

If stress caused cm my 2yo dd who is now leaping around wouldn't have survived the first few weeks!

It is virtually impossible to stay zen like while pregnant. I try to think about back when we were cave people etc, much harsher and more stressful times and they still managed to carry babies successfully.

On another note; the stabbing pains sound like round ligament pain. I would imagine it's probably a coincidence but I find I get it when I've been up and about lots or stood for a long time.

Justyouwaitandsee Tue 23-Dec-14 08:36:48

Try to relax and stop worrying! The stabbing pain probably just ligament stretching but I use it as a useful reminder to slow down.

Either way, I would take the chance if you can you take yourself off to bed or for a lie down on the sofa. Just do the bare minimum and takes breaks in between any tasks.

Baby's are resilient but being pregnant does take it out of you. Don't beat yourself up over what you have or haven't done, but take it as a chance to make sure you look after yourself! flowers

Justyouwaitandsee Tue 23-Dec-14 08:38:09

*babies (stupid autocorrect)

callamia Tue 23-Dec-14 08:39:48

Pregnancy was the least zen-like experience I've had. Life goes on, and you can't just live in some weird stress-free bubble for the duration. Don't worry about worrying, and have a better day today smile

BotBotticelli Tue 23-Dec-14 08:40:03

Thank you. Ah yes I had forgotten about ligament pain. I should know this stuff what with it being dc2.

I feel reassured and will try to take more breaks and relax a bit more.

prettywhiteguitar Tue 23-Dec-14 09:19:04

Zen like pregnancy ! Only in films grin

KentExpecting Tue 23-Dec-14 09:29:28

Zen-like? Oh my God, give up on that idea and embrace hormone-fuelled rage... I'm certainly experiencing plenty of that in my pregnancy ;)

eastcoastmum2014 Tue 23-Dec-14 10:33:35

Haha I have had some lovely hormone based rages... to the point where my OH started shouting specifically at my hormones to p* off, Really early on in this pregnancy the poor sales man at DFS got the brunt of my hormone rage oooops!!! I also went through loosing my dog in a horrid truck accident at 26 weeks pregnant and didn't sleep for 48 hours... was too busy crying! I have not been zen like at all lol!!! (I'm 36 weeks on Christmas Day) Don't worry I would imagine the pain was stretching/ round ligament related smile

TheScenicRoute Tue 23-Dec-14 10:41:43

I would have been equally worried, but those hormones just take over. I had three melt downs in my first trimester. One was even that it was all a mistake, what have I done, I don't want a baby etc etc..... (This was my 6th IVF after 4&1/2 years of trying... Of course I want this pregnancy!)

Just go with your emotions, you're going through the ringer at the moment, you deserve some self indulgent stress head moments. Embrace them. Just think of those people who desperately don't wNt to be pregnant, how much stress are they under? They dont manage to end their pregnancies just from stress. You'll both be fine. Xxxxx

Ridingthestorm Tue 23-Dec-14 10:41:45

Well if a bit of stress causes harm, my unborn is seriously messed up before she is born! Currently on week 11 of sick leave caused by work stress!
Seriously, don't worry about it. You aren't the first and won't be the last to erupt in a rage of fury. grin

JennyBlueWren Tue 23-Dec-14 10:48:08

Was worried about stress myself as my school was inspected a few weeks ago (and it didn't go well). Had a chat with MW as I have suffered from stress in the past and was worried about effect on baby. She said that apart from impact on blood pressure (and mine's been fine throughout) I shouldn't worry about impact on baby.
All well at 20 week scan and only thing now (32) is baby is a bit on the big side but still within "normal".

I've read lots of opinions and hearsay about impact on baby's future health but can't find any scientific research to back this up. The difficulty is those of us who get stressed are more likely to have children who get stressed but that could be biological or due to growing up with stress as much as anything that happens in pregnancy.

ladyflower23 Tue 23-Dec-14 13:51:10

I would not worry about a couple of random shouting episodes. I've had loads of them this pregnancy have really suffered badly with THE RAGE. Some to the point I can hear my own heartbeat in my head. That can't be good! Baby seems to still be doing well at 26 weeks though so based on this the anger has not done anything too serious. Am glad to say am feeling much more Zen like now that I am further on and the horrormones seem to have calmed down grin

BotBotticelli Sun 28-Dec-14 16:46:40

I really hope you ladies are all correct - things have gone from bad to worse here over xmas. Had horrible run-in with my awful mother this morning. Cant be bothered to explain the 30 year back story but it was one of those cataclysmic family rows where all sorts of nasty stuff gets blurted out and everyone says stuff to hurt each other.

I was screaming, shaking with rage and then cried for about 2 hours sad sad

Just can't imagine how the poor little bean can possibly be ok after all that.

Am thinking about getting a scan next week to see if everything is still ok - my symptoms seem to have disappeared this afternoon too. Dont feel sick or tired anymore, and boobs not sore.

Am terrified i have harmed the baby byt letting my parents wind me up so much.

thesmallbear Sun 28-Dec-14 17:29:42

Hi OP. Please rest assured that if there is anything wrong with the baby (and I really hope there isn't) that your stress won't have caused it. I had a MMC in June and the consultant nurse said that it's a complete myth that stress causes miscarriages. She said that babies are hardwired to deal with stress due to the stress they're under during childbirth. The vast majority of miscarriages are caused by chromosomal abnormalities in the baby, which is something you have no control over. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time flowers

jeee Sun 28-Dec-14 17:36:32

I had a massively stressful first pregnancy (bereavement, close family illness, moving, wedding, change of jobs.... all those things, in fact, that head the 'most stressful' lists). One day, when my sister was in ITU I was bent double with pain - simply because of the amount of stress I was under. One doctor said to me "Of course you're stressed. Anyone would be stressed. So just don't get stressed about being stressed."

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights Sun 28-Dec-14 17:38:57

Bot. Stop it. Just stop it. You are putting yourself under a ridiculous amount of pressure to be 'perfect' and 'zen'. Life isn't like that. Women go through all kinds of actual trauma while pregnant and the babies are fine. Your shouting and crying is nothing compared to some. It won't affect the baby.

If there's anything wrong with your pregnancy, it really, really, isn't down to shouting & stressing.

I'm sorry about your family situation sad

BotBotticelli Sun 28-Dec-14 19:28:54

Thank you ladies. I consider myself slapped with a wet fish (in a good way).

It's so hard to keep sight of what's a rational thought and what's not, in the first trimester isn't it??

Now to try and sort out horror show situation with dreadful mum...

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights Sun 28-Dec-14 19:35:24

Good. Glad you've seen sense!

Why not just leave it with your Mum. See if she apologises or whatever.n give yourself a break from it all.

geekymommy Wed 31-Dec-14 17:50:10

If this kind of thing generally did cause miscarriages, one of two things would be true:
1. Humans would have gone extinct a long time ago.
2. All pregnant women would be totally zen, because the people who weren't wouldn't have been able to have kids, and so would have gone extinct, with only the zen ones surviving.

These things are not true, so we can conclude that this sort of thing does not cause miscarriages.

Women have been through much worse stress during pregnancy than this. I won't cite examples, you can Google them if you really want to (not recommended, though). There would also be very few unwanted pregnancies if normal life stresses like yours caused miscarriage, since I imagine that finding out you are pregnant when you don't want to be is stressful.

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