Recently got a BFP after first IVF and am so happy but was so prepared for failure I'm now a bit scared to get excited thinking something will go wrong. Anyone else going through the same?
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Pregnancy
Rumplestrumpet ·
22/12/2014 12:29
Hiya Whittle 
I'm with you on this. I didn't want to mention it on the IVF thread (don't want people to think I'm ungrateful for my BFP!) but I have been pretty terrified. I was so sure that I'd be happy, easy going, but instead it just didn't feel real for the first couple of weeks. I went to accupuncture and burst into tears with the poor woman, and realised I was just so terribly anxious and tense. I was terrified of losing the baby, and particularly of the thought of having to go through it all again.
My coping strategy was to take it one day at a time. Each day I was still pregnant (ie no AF) meant a reduction in the likelihood of miscarriage. So each day I felt a little bit better. And at 8 weeks I had a scan - I was really prepared for there to be no heartbeat, but it was there, strong and visible and we both cried. I saw some stats that said that once a heartbeat has been detected at 8 weeks the chance of miscarriage drops to around 2%, so that really reassured me.
It still didn't feel real, and last week I was worried because I've still had no symptoms. But then the last few days I've started showing, trousers are tight and I've had to throw a couple of my favourite dresses into the back of the cupboard. That has made me a bit more confident that there really is something growing in there.
Are you telling people about the pregnancy? I decided to tell my parents & sister early because I needed it to feel real. DH wasn't too keen but respected my decision, and I felt better having them to talk to. Seeing their excitement made me feel a bit more excited too, which was nice.
BatteryPoweredHen ·
22/12/2014 18:35
Yep, me too - also feel like I can't discuss it on the IVF thread...
I have my first scan tomorrow (will be 7+1) and am terrified. I so hope everything is as it should be as I am hoping to tell close family over Christmas.
Having massive waves of nausea and boobs huge and painful so trying to hang onto that as a positive
Rumplestrumpet ·
23/12/2014 16:14
So glad all went well Hen - the heartbeat is amazing, isn't it? My heart melted at the sight (and seeing DH tear up too).
Despite seeming to have no symptoms so far (apart from outrageous indigestion, gas and bloating, which is awful), I've now realised that my breasts are pretty gigantic - bursting out of my D-cup! I went looking for bras the other day but here in France most shops seem to cater for, well, typical slim Frenchies, and there was almost nothing above a C! Going to a shop with maternity section next week, hoping it'll be better. Still, it's nice to have some signs of pregnancy. Oh, and my trousers are too tight, and a couple of dresses are clear no-nos for the next year or so, so I've sadly said goodbye to them (and DH said good riddance!).
I'm struggling a bit with the banned foods - I invested in some lovely blue cheese yesterday and my local organic food shop. They didn't have stilton, but I chose one that was with pasturised milk, so thought it would be ok. But when I got home DH convinced me it probably wasn't safe 
. Plus there are loads of oysters everywhere and I love them so much, but again, not allowed. Feeling a little sorry for myself on that front, but otherwise enjoying the seasonal cheer.
Is anyone else gearing up for the Downs testing? I'm not sure what it's called in the UK, but here you do a blood test and scan, and with the combined results they give you a likelihood of Downs, percentage or fraction (ie 1 in 1000, etc). I'm not really sure why we're doing it, as even if it said 100% chance we wouldn't terminate the pregnancy - we've waited so long for this little baby we'll love it whatever happens. Have you had thoughts on this? (sorry if it's very personal or upsetting for you - feel free to ignore!)
Right, off to buy some smoked salmon (one of my favourites which is thankfully not on the forbidden list!).
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whittlefish ·
27/12/2014 09:49
Thanks little miss it's good to hear some happy stories. I think the problem with most message boards is that people use them to talk when things are going well or gone wrong for support which is great as that's exactly what I do but it's nice to hear so good news stories too
Of course pipbin welcome. I'm glad your scans went well I have my first one next week. Should be 7/8 weeks I think not sure still getting my head round that. Hopefully seeing a heartbeat will reassure me but can't stop worrying there will be nothing there. It's good to know about the lack of symptoms from the progesterone as apart from exhaustion and some cramping I don't feel much different. Although am starting to get some mild nausea now which I'm not loving.
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