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Very anxious 2nd pregancy after dd born blind

(14 Posts)
Melonhead11 Sun 21-Dec-14 12:07:37

That really. Does this put me as high risk as my dd is blind? My pregnancy with her was too good to be true. Gained 11lbs in total, wasn't sick and then needed induced which ended in forceps which left me being stitched back together for almost 2 hours. Dds blindness aside, my labour still haunts me and I'm terrified to have the same experience. Would My labour be reason enough for an elective section?

evertonmint Sun 21-Dec-14 12:12:38

You sound understandably worried. I would really recommend you try and debrief your birth story as I think this will help you feel calmer and make the right decision this time round. Our local hospital has a Birth Stories service where you can discuss your feelings and memories with a trained midwife who has your notes and can go through what happened and why. A couple of friends used it during subsequent pregnancies and found it really helpful.

Ask your midwife at your next appointment about it. I think you are entirely within your rights to request a section too.

evertonmint Sun 21-Dec-14 12:15:20

By 'right decision this time', I don't mean you made a wrong decision last time smile just that debriefing may help you make the decision that you feel is best for this labour and delivery. Good luck x

Melonhead11 Sun 21-Dec-14 12:23:44

Thank you, it just spiralled really quickly. Got a pessery and dilated to 10cm within the hour. I was screaming for a epidural the whole time and was totally ignored and given an injection in the thigh (forget it's name but it was in my notes under no circumstance was into her that as I'm yet to hear a positive outcome) and low and behold, baby's heartrate dropped and needed out by forceps. I should add dd was back to back so it really made for the worst experience of my life. I'm only 5 weeks pregnant so I'm just getting myself in such a state thinking they won't give me a section

D00dles Sun 21-Dec-14 12:34:45

I know how you feel. I had a traumatic labour due to Step B and my blood pressure going mega high. The last bit was a blur of consultants, mws, taking blood, forceps, being cut then stitched, DD being taken to special care... She was a healthy baby in the end but the experience itself was awful. I'm now 7weeks and I'm already thinking about what's to come. I had a blood test the other day where I nearly cried at just the thought of what I'll have to go through again.
I'm planning on talking it through with my MW, I don't want a section because I want to be up and about as soon as I can. But I want my care better managed as last time it seemed like a last minute panic! Like others have said have you discussed things with your MW?

marne2 Sun 21-Dec-14 12:45:55

I had a awful birth with dd1 she was back to back, I stupidly wrote 'no pain relief ' on my birth plan, was in so much pain, tore badly and had a very long labour. I then had dd2 2 years later, had hardly any labour pain, started off in birthing pool, then had epidural and dd came out after one push, was a totally different experience than the first. The midwives were lovely and I told them about my fears, it was so much more relaxed. No 2 births are the same.

Bondy83 Sun 21-Dec-14 12:51:51

My 1st was also back to back and after 39hrs labour and 3 hours pushing I had to have a ventouse delivery and episiotomy with what felt like a million stitches. My 2nd was completely different although I did need a few stitches I recovered a lot quicker. I suppose what I'm trying to say is no 2 deliverys are the same this one could simply fly out no problem. I wouldn't rush into the idea of a section straight away discuss your concerns with your midwife and consultant 1st. Think about the recovery time after a section especially with 2 little ones to look after.

Melonhead11 Sun 21-Dec-14 13:06:07

I had a 6 week recovery with dd and that was 'naturally' the stitching back up was horrific. They said they'd never seen such extensive 'bursting' as they said! I got an episiotomy and then burst in 4 other directions. I was given a catheter for 2 weeks and told not to hassle myself breastfeeding as I had enough going on. I did breastfeed anyway but the more I think about the poor care the more angry I get. I haven't even been to my gp yet as I'm only 5 weeks but think I'll go tomorrow to get the ball rolling

marne2 Sun 21-Dec-14 16:26:23

Talk to your midwife when you see one, they will be able to access your records from your first birth, as you had such a bad tear then they may suggest you have a c section. I tore badly with both births ( not as bad as you ) and had horrific bruising, there were mums on the ward that had had c sections and were walking around, I could hardly walk sad.

naty1 Sun 21-Dec-14 17:07:18

Agree it could be less pain and recovery with cs.
But sounds like others have found 2nd much better.
I had infection, pethidine, back to back, epidural finally and ventuose and forceps. And an episiotomy.
All quite common with others in my birth group.
The catheter does sound worse than usual.

Melonhead11 Sun 21-Dec-14 17:20:11

I just find it mind blowing that nowadays this kind of birth can't be prevented. Totally barbaric!

divingoffthebalcony Sun 21-Dec-14 19:07:17

I had a third degree tear and have got a consultant to agree to an ELCS.

He disagreed with all my concerns about my physical health (tearing again, incontinence etc.) saying I was "unlikely to tear again" - oh really? Prove it!

So he agreed to ELCS on mental health grounds. Although I was annoyed he was dismissive of the other reasons, I don't care how the section gets justified officially. I just know that I need one.

So, if the idea of another traumatic birth with a traumatic recovery is too much for you to bear (and that is so understandable) you really are entitled to request ELCS.

Melonhead11 Sun 21-Dec-14 19:12:28

Thank you for that. I hate professionals telling you things will 'probably' be better 2nd time.. And especially coming from a man!! Relieved to hear you're getting a section and I agree the reason shouldnt be for mental health!

naty1 Sun 21-Dec-14 19:40:36

I think though supposedly more intervention after induction. I would think there is less chance of induction being needed second time round. Not sure of stats though.

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