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I don't like my midwife

(38 Posts)
BinarySolo Wed 17-Dec-14 14:46:46

Had an appointment with my midwife today. It's the second time I've seen her as initially there was a stand in midwife.

Wasn't keen on her last time. She told me off for forgetting my urine sample, but didn't give me a chance to nip to the loo to do one.

Saw her again today and I really dislike her. After testing my urine it was given back to me. Wtf? I thought they had clinical bins for that. She then listened to the baby's heartbeat and both this time and last didn't provide any tissues for me to wipe off the gel with.

It was all very rushed and impersonal. The last thing she said to me was that I'd already had whooping cough jab so didn't need one. I said that I thought I needed another even tho youngest Ds is only 16 months. She then said that she didn't think I did but to check with reception. I checked and I was right. It's a bit worrying that if I was less assertive or clued up then I wouldn't have got this jab.

Do you think I'd be unreasonable to ask to see someone else as I don't trust her knowledge?

JennyBlueWren Wed 17-Dec-14 15:13:23

I think you should ask for another midwife as you aren't going to build a relationship with her.

WTF -giving you your wee back?! And I hate the gel and wouldn't know what to do if no tissues (although the covering of the bed you lie on can be used too).

NaiceNickname Wed 17-Dec-14 15:16:24

You can ask for a different one. Also, giving wee samples back is quite normal now - something to do with bin collections not happening as often or they're only allowed a certain amount in the collections my midwife said.

chloecorey2013 Wed 17-Dec-14 15:19:40

My midwives were really nice. If you dont like her id change. I dont think id get through with a midwife i didnt trust or like.

Gettin wee samples back confused i had this everytime too, shoved it in my bag and in abin outside.

SoonToBeSix Wed 17-Dec-14 15:22:14

Of course you need another jab it's for your unborn baby not you!

Izzy24 Wed 17-Dec-14 15:23:31

The reason for giving wee samples back is so that you have a container for the next sample at the next appointment .

BinarySolo Wed 17-Dec-14 15:23:35

That's interesting re the wee samples. To be honest, it's her lack of knowledge on the whooping cough vaccine and then telling me to find out rather than looking into it herself that has annoyed me most. In effect she gave me the wrong advice and then told me to check when I questioned her!

BinarySolo Wed 17-Dec-14 15:25:03

No Izzy I got a clean container as well!

divingoffthebalcony Wed 17-Dec-14 15:25:11

I have always, always, always had my urine sample handed back to me (different pregnancies, different midwives, different counties). Primarily because I'm expected to rinse and reuse the same sample bottle. I always wonder why the midwife doesn't pour the urine down the sink before giving it back, but there you go...

Izzy24 Wed 17-Dec-14 15:25:58

Would you pour urine down your sink at home ?

BinarySolo Wed 17-Dec-14 15:28:16

This is my third pregnancy and first time I've had my urine handed back to me.

Izzy24 Wed 17-Dec-14 15:30:52

Well the NHS is always looking for ways to save money!

Seriously tho of course you should be able to see a midwife you have confidence in.

Izzy24 Wed 17-Dec-14 15:35:37

Re nipping to the loo to do a sample: an extra 3 minutes for people to nip to the loo means the women at the end of clinic are waiting well over their appointment times which is pretty miserable if you're very pregnant and or trying to keep toddlers amused.

BinarySolo Wed 17-Dec-14 15:55:55

I know what you're saying about time, but other midwives have always asked me to nip to the loo. Not as tho the appointment takes the full 10 mins anyway.

Izzy24 Wed 17-Dec-14 16:01:46

I agree, they should ask you to do a sample because it's important. I'm astonished (and sad) that the appointment doesn't take the full time. So much to talk about !!!

Butterpuff Wed 17-Dec-14 16:10:02

I've not had the same midwife twice! But luckily all have been very nice, I'm at the local MLU. Can you change? Or are you at a doctors with only one MW for all patients? I feel like I can drop in at any time to speak to them and they will be happy to assist.

When I forgot my sample (and was a little late) they just put the next lady ahead of me and I had to wait an extra few minutes so as not to make all of us late, which I was quite happy with.

Oh and I have also had my sample given back, except last time when they sent it off. Not heard anything since so presume it was fine.

I hope you can switch to a MW that you can get on better with.

divingoffthebalcony Wed 17-Dec-14 16:13:05

Would you pour urine down your sink at home ?

When I empty and rinse the sample container I do, yes.

JennyBlueWren Wed 17-Dec-14 16:20:44

I don't have a problem with pouring urine down the sink. I don't know if they clean and sterilise the sample pots or just bin them.

As for the time of the appointment, mine have always taken as long as they needed to -sometimes quite quick but getting longer now. Last time MW tried to book me a scan and was waiting on the phone for awhile. She's never seemed rushed.

MrsLovell Wed 17-Dec-14 16:38:18

I have been given my sample back on the first appointment and on the second (different midwife) she poured it down the sink and rinsed it out before giving me the pot back, which I think is a lot nicer!
Izzy Yes I would pour my sample in the sink at home! It's all going to the same drain and urine is sterile (unless you have an infection), some weird people drink it for goodness sake! And don't tell me you have never weed in the shower!
Seriously though, the whooping cough jab mistake would worry me too, and not helping you to clean the gell off your belly is just plain horrid. You have to feel comfortable with her so change if you want to.

Izzy24 Wed 17-Dec-14 17:04:30

Urine isn't sterile. And I don't wash my dishes in the shower !

divingoffthebalcony Wed 17-Dec-14 17:10:23

But... you RINSE the urine down the sink. And I'm pretty sure neither my bathroom plumbing nor the sink itself is sterile. In fact, I'm pretty sure there isn't a single sterile inch of my house hmm

Jodie1982 Wed 17-Dec-14 17:10:34

I've never had my wee pot handed bk to me, ever, and I'm on my 5th baby. If I was unhappy with my MW I'd defo ask to see a different one nxt time, if possible. Sorry to hear you had a crappy appt today Hun.

SilverStars Wed 17-Dec-14 17:21:26

Get samples back here and 10-20 min apt's. if not first pregnancy 3 less appointments too. You can ring the supervisor of midwives and ask to go to a different place and see a different midwife, however they may give you the same practices and short appointments I guess.

MissYamabuki Wed 17-Dec-14 17:24:36

This sounds like my MW in my second pregnancy. Looking back I wish I'd asked for another one - perhaps growth problems would have been spotted, def booking appointments would have been easier. She was awkward, abrupt, uninterested, wouldn't answer questions or look up from the computer. I thought it was me being hormonal but chatting to the ladies in my postnatal group, they all had exactly the same issues - I realise it was her. I wish I'd asked to see the stand-in MW who was professional and lovely.

It sounds like the poor advice re the jabs has destroyed your confidence in her. Ask to see someone else op, it will be one thing less to worry about during your pregnancy.

MrsLovell Wed 17-Dec-14 17:25:56

Trust me I'm a microbiologist! Healthy urine is pretty much sterile, and the few bacteria that are in it are usually your normal skin flora that are not harmful to you. You already put WAY worse stuff in your sink with your dishes than a bit of wee, such as a chopping board you have just cut chicken on which is covered in Salmonella and Campylobacter that can give you very bad food poisoning. If fairy liquid can deal with that it can deal with a bit of wee!

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