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I've turned into a horrible bitch - help!

(3 Posts)
GingerbreadPudding Tue 16-Dec-14 12:43:11

33 weeks pregnant, signed off work since 25 weeks with dislocated ribs, spd and a rash which is driving me mad with itching. Can't drive, can't walk far at all, can't really function. I'm normally an active, happy person but I've become so depressed and I can't manage the pain at all.

I've become such a moaning, awful wife. I constantly nag on to my husband that he should be doing more, that he doesn't understand how much pain I'm in and that as soon as the baby comes out I'm giving it to him and running away. Then I get all tearful and apologise profusely.

Earlier this week I got it together enough to cook a spag bol which is one of his favourite dinners but when I went upstairs to lie down, as just doing that had left me in tears of pain, the dog jumped up, knocked the pan off the side and ate it.

I just really hate how I'm feeling now. In pain and useless. The doctor basically shrugs. I'm seeing an osteopath and I don't know if that's doing anything. I sometimes take paracetamol but it doesn't seem to do anything.

He can I cope with another 7-9 weeks of this? My poor husband. To make it worse, at last nights ante natal class the woman said that when mum is stressed so is baby. So now I'm worried I'm going to bring a ball of stress and unhappiness into this world,

Whoateallthecheese Tue 16-Dec-14 12:57:12

I had ridiculous amounts of stress when I was pregnant last time, and my first born is the happiest, cheeky kid going, so don't worry about that, honestly. I was terrified about exactly the same thing as you, and it hasn't affected him in the slightest - and worrying about that won't help you to become less stressed.

But - it does sound like you're struggling, have you talked to anyone, like a doctor, or the health visitor, about your depression? Ante-natal depression is very common, but not really talked about as much as PND. There are support services out there to help you. Have you asked the doctor for a referral for some ante-natal physio? If the GP you saw isn't being very helpful, try another one. If you know you need more help, you might have to be a bit pushy. Have you considered relaxation exercises? They might help, there are good ante-natal hypnotherapy CDs, or mindfulness meditation might also help. It's awful when you're feeling so rubbish, and you're in so much pain, and the smallest things can trigger off very intense emotional reactions. Have you talked to your husband about your depression so he knows there are reasons behind the way you're acting? Maybe it might be worth showing him your post so he knows how you're feeling?

I hope you start feeling better very soon. It's tough, don't underestimate all you're going through.

wawabear Tue 16-Dec-14 14:08:44

I pulled/strained some muscles round my ribs a few weeks ago due to a chest infection.

My doctor gave me dhydra-codeine which was MAGICAL for relieving the pain... and what I had doesn't sound even nearly as bad as what you are going through. You obviously need stronger pain relief and I think its awful that your doctor isn't taking this more seriously when the pain is so bad.

Do you had a walk in centre at the hospital where you are going to have the baby? Give them a ring and see if one of the doctors there will see you and prescribe something stronger.

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