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No idea how far along I am - midwife of no help

(32 Posts)
nanceweir Mon 15-Dec-14 17:17:59

Hi everyone, I'm new here. I'm 22 and this is my first pregnancy. Apologies if this gets long.
I had the implant in for 2 years and bled every single day for these 2 years. It was removed on 31st July 2014. I didn't have unprotected sex until I started taking the pill on 25th August. I didnt take a period between 31st July and 25th August. Because I didn't want a period on my wedding day and was fed up of constantly spotting, I ran four packs together until 14th November. The ONLY day I missed a pill was my wedding day - 3rd October.

I found out I was pregnant on 21st November - I tested because I hadn't taken a period in my week break from the pill.
When I saw my midwife on Friday I told her all of this and she convinced herself I am 8 weeks pregnant - I have no idea why she would say this when all she had to go by is what I told her hmm.

I think it's more likely I conceived on or around my wedding day (which was 10w 3d ago) which would put me at 12w 3d. She gave me a date for a booking appointment which isn't until 13th January at which point I could be 16w pregnant!
I'm so hormonal and feeling really upset by this all. Why have I not been offered a scan to date my pregnancy? How can I break the news to my friends and family without knowing everything is OK first, or even knowing how far along I am?

I managed to get a booking appointment rearranged for tomorrow but I'm so scared of going and being fobbed off again and made to wait 4 weeks for a scan.

Can anyone suggest what I tell the midwife tomorrow? AIBU thinking that I should get a scan if there's no other way to date my pregnancy?

ThinkIveBeenHacked Mon 15-Dec-14 17:20:53

Id tell them an out an out lie:- "My last period was X date" and make sure X is at least 12 weeks ago. And tell her you want the Nuchal check in your scan (needs to be done by 14+1).

Good luck! And congrats!

TooTiredToBeCreative Mon 15-Dec-14 17:21:57

I think this is fairly common, most hospitals struggle to fit in all the 12 & 20wk scans as it is, if everyone who wasn't sure about their dates had an additional scan the service wouldn't cope. That said, I appreciate its very frustrating! Could you book a private dating scan?
Congratulations on your pregnancy!

BumpAndGrind Mon 15-Dec-14 17:23:08

I don't agree with lying but I would in this case.

Legodino Mon 15-Dec-14 17:24:04

How many days had you been on the pill before you started having sex?

Legodino Mon 15-Dec-14 17:26:34

What was the last date you had sex with implant in?

Foggymist Mon 15-Dec-14 17:27:47

Myself and 3 of my friends had our first scans booked for 15-16 weeks, as well as being very busy they want to be very sure you're over 12 weeks by the time of the scan so the best way to do this is to make sure they are well clear of it, to allow for mistakes with dates.

Get a private scan before then? That's what we did.

Legodino Mon 15-Dec-14 17:29:22

Ask her to use the featal monitor - although if you are 8 weeks you won't get a heart beat and it could stress you out

Legodino Mon 15-Dec-14 17:30:53

Can you feel butterfly like movement? It started for me at 13 weeks, although most others get it at 18 week.

nanceweir Mon 15-Dec-14 17:32:28

Thanks for the advice guys, if I suddenly conveniently remember the date of my lmp is say, 16th September, and say I want the nuchal test, how quickly do you think they will send me for a scan?
Legodino - I think pretty much as soon as I went back on the pill, and I can't remember the last day we would have had sex before the implant was removed, it wouldn't have been any less than a week before 31st July.

nanceweir Mon 15-Dec-14 17:34:44

And yes I have been feeling flutters just above my pubic line for the last 2 days.

Legodino Mon 15-Dec-14 17:38:32

Sperm can hang around 5 or so days after sex.

Legodino Mon 15-Dec-14 17:39:08

The fluttering would make you at least 12 weeks in my mind.

Gunpowder Mon 15-Dec-14 17:40:02

Did you have sex in the first 7 days you were taking the pill? If so you could have conceived then.

I wasn't sure on dates (was breastfeeding so no period) and my MW told me to self refer to the epau for a dating scan. Do you have a hospital nearby where you could do this?

Legodino Mon 15-Dec-14 17:41:20

Are you still bleeding because you could ask for a referral to the EPU if you are

Legodino Mon 15-Dec-14 17:41:42

1001 questions grin

Mulderandskully Mon 15-Dec-14 17:45:05

This is quite confusing- you wouldn't have released an egg if you were on the pill would you?

Personally I would pay for a private scan and get it done tomorrow

Gunpowder Mon 15-Dec-14 17:46:33

I think you would be more likely to have conceived the first week of taking the pill than the one day you missed, as you ran packets together, (that's if you are on combined pill). You could be as much as 18 weeks. shock Which would make sense if you are feeling flutters. smile

nanceweir Mon 15-Dec-14 17:46:47

Gunpowder - yes I did, I didn't think about that. I tried phoning the early pregnancy unit to ask for a scan, they told me they couldn't do it without a midwife referral. That's when I got on the phone to the midwife and told her I wanted not earlier booking appointment as I might be further along than 8 weeks.
Legodino - no thankfully I havent bled since I got the implant ouy

nanceweir Mon 15-Dec-14 17:50:18

Mulderandskully - there was a period of nearly 4 weeks I wasn't on the pill so could have released an egg then, and conceived when we stopped using condoms.
This being an unplanned pregnancy I didn't really budget for a private scan and don't want to have to pay for one if I can get one after seeing the midwife. Money is tight enough as it is sad

Mulderandskully Mon 15-Dec-14 17:51:19

I agree with gunpowder it sounds more likely to have happened before you went on the pill (and assuming it's your first you shouldn't feel flutters until close to 20 weeks)

HaPPy8 Mon 15-Dec-14 17:53:25

If she is seeing you tomorrow she will be able to feel your uterus above your pubic bone if you are 12weeks +

Legodino Mon 15-Dec-14 17:57:17

Tell her you feel flutters, show her where, then report back.

MisForMumNotMaid Mon 15-Dec-14 17:58:34

I was going to say as PP that physically the difference between 12 and 18 weeks can be felt by the location of the womb. At 12 its just above the pubic bone at 18 its just below the belly button.

this explains how to feel for 18 depending on your size and way you're carrying if you lie flat and relaxed and feel, having read a few online links, you may be able to get a better idea.

Mulderandskully Mon 15-Dec-14 18:12:38

Sorry OP I missed your post. Hopefully the midwife can help tomorrow

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