What's it actually like having a baby?(39 Posts)
Due in April and I'm starting to feel my little bun in the oven kick it's amazing! However I'm starting to really wonder about what it's actually like in real life when you have a baby? It's my first and I'm the first in my friendship group/ family to have a baby! I've Bought a ton of books asked my mum and all that but still curious... Just wondered if anyone had any nice stories
Its lovely, basically!
Do you want to know something specific?
This article gives some idea...
I have no idea where the time goes but I think it just disappears into the fog of sleep deprivation.
It's truly amazing though.
Sorry I suppose I asked a very open question I was thinking along the lines if child birth and the first few weeks!
I found it weirdly boring, to be brutally honest, they just feed and sleep in those first few weeks, me and dp managed to watch the entire Dr who series during his paternity leave.. Dd is now 23mo and ds is 4mo and I long to be able to watch an advert in peace, a whole series is completly out of reach!
Just enjoy it, enjoy every minute of it because sometimes I think I just wished it all away
I was stood up for the birth and it was like having a very big poo!
First few week's were very restful as he slept a lot but once his eating was on track it was tiring, and a bit like having a very angry foreigner in the house. You want to help and you know they need things but you don't understand each other yet.
The first few weeks and months are bloody hard grind tbh, though incredibly rewarding. With my first I felt crap most of the time because I had mastitis and guilty because I couldn't bf DD because of it -I had an op when she was about 8weeks to have the access drained.
Childbirth could end up being anything. I was all water birth, gas and air and ended up with an EMCS and a premature baby - so try to keep an open mind.
After, recovery will depend on your birth but you'll bleed a lot! Be very tired and maybe emotional / clueless (well I was!)
Just be easy on yourself. For some reason I thought I'd be doing baby classes every day whilst looking glam and getting new hobbies whilst the baby slept! I've now realised as long as he's fed and happy that's all you need to do
Good luck, it's tough but the best x
Childbirth? It's like period cramps and backache which gets steadily worse. You feel fine between contractions. Towards the end the sensation is pretty overwhelming and you need to focus and concentrate, it's hard to hold a conversation. You may feel the baby descend from the womb into the birth canal (I didnt really notice with first baby, it just all felt like one big sensation) then lots of pressure in your bum like a big poo. It feels like its coming out of your rear. You often feel like you can't do it at this stage, it can feel frightening, it's called transition, it's over with soon enough and then you can push. I found that my body pushed involuntarily and I just helped, it's a bit like vomiting but downwards. It will probably sting while you're pushing, but that means he/she is almost out.
Then they're out and the pain is 90% gone. You'll be sore and achy but you won't notice because baby! you push the placenta out, it doesn't really hurt, nothing to worry about. Cuddles and cooing over baby, bf if you want to (the baby will want to) they inspect you for tears and clean you up a bit. You bleed a lot afterward. You waddle off for a bath and if you're lucky tea and toast... Hope this helps (homebirths are better. with a pool even better)
Thank you it's really interesting hearing all these replys!
Childbirth:- each one is different, and the point of it is to get you and baby through safely. So dont beat yourself up if it doesnt go exactly how you envisaged. It may be long, it may be short, but you do eventually forget the pain
The first few weeks:- dont feel bad if you get bored; trust your instincts; get dad doing tha bath and bed routine asap to get their confidence up and let them have a bit of bonding time; dont try and be a superwoman (accept help, rest up, say no to visitors if you want, and dont try and get yourslf out of the house on day two); the day three blues when your milk comes in will ha e you sobbing and wondering what you have done - it will pass! ; newborns need very very little,so dont worry or feel guilty at not entertaining them every two seconds; let them feed and sleep whenever they want for the first couple of months.
YES! You will definitely at some point after the birth think "What have we done??" and then feel incredibly guilty for even thinking it. We all think that.
It won't be the last time you think it either, I had a wobble recently "Oh god why did we have three kids, we're skint and we can't keep them under control waaah" lol
Gas and air, breathing, staying upright and hugging your partner are all great things to try during the birth. I found chanting (in my head) "it's just a contraction, it's just a contraction" really helped keep it in perspective. If you feel fear taking over tell your midwife to "keep you in the room". They can hold your hand, talk to you quietly. IT really does help. One of the best pain relief methods I found was to have my partner hugging me, and getting him to apply pressure to my lower back.
No shame in drugs at all, but if you can, do try the birth pool because the the freedom and support that the water gives you, makes it so blooming easy that you can often get away with nothing at all, or just gas and air. Deep deep breaths of gas and air as the contraction builds, and try to leave it alone when you aren't contracting, as it can make you woozy and spaced out if you constantly breathe it.
When the baby is asleep you just want them to wake up so you can play with them, but you spend most of the time they are awake hoping/trying to get them to go to sleep!
Every birth is different, and every baby is different. So is every parent!
The most important things are to enjoy your baby, to get to know them and to take good care of him/her as well as yourself. It truly does make almost everything else pale into insignificance
The first few months I found very repetitive, boring and lonely, and I had lots of friends with babies, but lonely in the way that your baby can't talk back and I gave up (maternity leave) a busy job. I hated the beginning bit to be honest! But lots of my friends absolutely loved it. So depends on your personality. But don't feel guilty if you feel like me, lots of other mums do.
But I LOVE the toddler stage, he is like my little sidekick and we have so much fun. I would have another one in a second if I could have one that was 18months old.
I found it weird and extremely painful. And it was defo like having a massive shit. Was surprised how much my back hurt I expected pain at the front.
Childbirth- depends how it goes!
First few weeks- a variety of things. Absolutely bloody exhausting. You don't get chance to recover from the birth as you have a constantly feeding newborn, who doesn't know day from night. Exhilarating as you have created a life! Slightly boring as they do very little other than eat and sleep. Worrying. Lovely.
I read this article a few weeks in and thought, "YES! Why did nobody tell me?!". Summed it all up for me.
The fog lifted around 4 months I think and I started properly enjoying motherhood (prior to that I felt overwhelming love, loneliness, and exhaustion with just enough moments of pure joy to keep me going).
It's brilliant now at 7 months. Still a bit knackered but just so so good.
Damn! I'll try again.
It doesn't have to stop you doinh anything on list if you have a decent partner. You can still go out, party, be with friends and have a life. People tried telling this to me years back before my first but people like to make out your life is over for some reason.
The single most exciting and hard thing I have ever done or am likely to ever do again.
I don't think anybody can answer your question as the experience is really different fro every person. I, for example, had an induced VB, and emCS and 2xVBAC and found them all to be really positive experiences. I'd happily give birth again but don't want to ever look after a baby again. I love my walking, talking children (DS4 is now 4.9), but was never that keen on the baby stage - other people love looking after infants.
We're all different.
V best of luck and hope you'll have a happy and healthy rest of your pregnancy, birth and a lovely time with your newborn when the time comes
There you go, Hedgehogging
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