History of ED and struggling with weight gain

[Littleturkish]

I'm really concerned that I've gained too much weight. During my first pregnancy I only weighed myself at the end when I had to have an iron IV and my consultant weighed me. I googled it and I was within the normal parameters according to baby centre. I never weighed myself again until I thought I'd lost my baby weight four months after birth.

Now with my second pregnancy I'm really struggling, I've weighed myself a lot more frequently and I'm shocked at my weight gain. NHS says most women only gain 100-125 lb (1-1.3/4 stone). I definitely gained more than that with my first baby and I've already put on 2 and 3/4 stone and I'm only 29 weeks.

I'm due to see my therapist on Tuesday, I've removed the scales from sight, but I'm strugglibg to eat and am avoiding food. What was your weight gain at 30ish weeks? Am I, like the NHS site seems to suggest, hideously overweight? Have I put my baby in danger by being so huge?

None of my midwives or consultants have commented on my size and I don't have GD.

Thanks so much, for just reading this. I can't sleep from worrying about it.

[harrowgreen]

If nobody has commented on it, then don't worry.

You lost the weight last time, and you will do so again.

Your weight is a number. Much more important is your health (physical and mental). Good nutrition, for both you and baby, adequate physical activity, and low stress levels are the things you should be aiming for, not some random figure on the scales.

If you find it helpful, can you put together a menu for yourself for the day, so that you can see, rationally, that you're eating the right number of calories and checking all the nutritional boxes? Timetable in some exercise also. This gives the control back to you.

And mention it to your midwife next time you see her: her telling you that you're fine will hopefully help.

[schmalice]

Hi OP, I know this is much easier said than done but you need to step away from the scales. Can you give them to a friend or a family member for the duration of your pregnancy?

I too suffered from a ED in the past and those thoughts still loom large on some days. My midwife weighed me last time (36 weeks) and I had but on 2.5 stone, I felt sick. BUT I am making a tiny human and it is the middle of winter so I've talked myself round.

Please be kind to yourself, don't weigh yourself or Google what's 'normal'. Every person and pregnancy is different, there is no such thing as normal.

[Littleturkish]

Thank you for the replies. I think I'm going to move the scales out of the house entirely.

It's been such a shock to think I could be overweight, I don't know quite how to deal with it. I don't like thinking I'm not within those safe parameters of acceptable weight gain. Would it be safe to lose weight now down to where I should be? I don't even really think I've eaten that unhealthily- I did have morning sickness and overwhelming hunger at the start, but I haven't eaten significantly more than normal. Though, thinking back now, I suppose I must have, otherwise how have I allowed myself to get into this state?

I don't know if my therapist would recommend counting calories, I will talk it through with her when I see her on Tuesday.

I guess what I really wanted to hear was that three stone weight gain was normal, as that was what I had in my head from last time, but I've clearly got it so wrong. I should have checked and been more careful, I was too laid back.

[schmalice]

Please stop thinking about it in terms of safe or unsafe weight gain. You aren't overweight, you are pregnant!

I was going to ask if you were still having support for your ED, I think having a chat with your therapist is a great idea.

I have spent my entire pregnancy internally battling this, I was even a bit silly in my early days of pregnancy when I started to get that 'thick round the middle' look but I keep telling myself that my body is doing something massively important and clever and it's ok that I'm not totally in control of it.

Definitely get those scales out of the house for now!

[schmalice]

And you have not let yourself get in a state. You're body has been doing what it needs to do to keep you and your baby healthy!

[espa]

If it reassures you I've put on about 3 stone since I git pregnant. 38 weeks. Had only put on 2kg at 20 so have been a bit surprised how much I've put on since. Was well over 2 stone by 30.

I keep telling myself it's all baby, which is mostly true - I haven't put on that much weight on arms/legs considering my complete lack of exercise.

[Rockchick1984]

What was your BMI pre pregnancy as that will have a bearing on what would be the "ideal" weight gain?

Also your maths is wrong somewhere - 100lb is 7st which is definitely not a normal weight gain but as far as I am aware 2.5 to 3.5 stone is average (at least according to my midwife) but if you started at a lower weight you should gain more, if you were overweight you should try to gain less.

[j200]

Average weight gain is 2-3 stone so it doesn't sound like you are overweight or abnormally gaining weight at all. If you are not binge eating and eating normally then it will be all baby, don't stress about it. I had a big shock when I weighed myself last week at 36 weeks- 11 stone when I have always been 8.5 stone, don't care though as long as baby is ok I can lose it after xx

[schmalice]

When I had a bit of a melt down about my weight gain a very helpful friend pointed out that you have to account for the weight of the baby, the placenta, the amniotic fluid, any water retention plus you have 40% more blood than normal!

[Littleturkish]

Oh so many numbers I confused myself rockchick!

Ok, 25-35lb weight gain is what NHS says most women put on, my BMI was 18/19 when I fell pregnant and I've put on 38lb already and I'm only 29 weeks.

Is it safe to ensure that I eat a diet that means I lose that extra weight before the baby is born, or should I just try and maintain my weight, or should I just carry on as I was (eating when hungry and eating healthily- I rarely eat chocolate/cake/sugary food or drinks anyway).

Do I now class myself as overweight so it's actually safe to lose when pregnant?

[Littleturkish]

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. It really does help. I need to just stop and rationalise it.

I still fit into my maternity size 8 clothes. I am still wearing some non-maternity size 10 tops. Yes, I've gained weight on my bum and legs- but actually, I look 'better' for it (as in more healthy) and I am relatively fit.

I hate hate hate numbers and food.

[j200]

Don't diet at all during pregnancy, sounds like you were eating sensibly before so your weight gain is normal as you were borderline underweight in the beginning. If you are still in size 8 maternity you have nothing to worry about- if you went up to size 14/16 maternity then i would say you might have put too much weight on. My friend put on 4 stone and lost it all by 5 months!

[prettywhiteguitar]

Please please lose the scales ! I have never suffered from an eating disorder and even was shocked by my weight at 22 weeks.

Like a poster said above weight gain is lots of different factors, actual baby, placenta can be frickin huge and weigh loads by itself and then amniotic fluid.

I refuse to weigh myself, as long as you're eating healthly don't worry. And keep talking to your therapist.

Step away from the scales lady ! You're in size 8 maternity clothes !!