Advanced search

Pregnant? See how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy with the Mumsnet Pregnancy Calendar.

Been TTC #2 for over a year. Help me stay positive please.

(11 Posts)
Mrsbadger77 Mon 08-Dec-14 17:54:53

Just that really. Totally lost it yesterday when I spotted and AF came on today. I'm just struggling to imagine that I'll ever have #2its breaking my heart every month thinking my gorgeous dd may never have a sibling. I think I have problems because of a short LP. Been referred to gynaecologist but just waiting now. Feel so low. Help me stay positive you lovely pregnant ladies x

GingerbreadHead Mon 08-Dec-14 18:22:30

Hi Mrs sorry AF got you again today, and that you are feeling down about it all. I have been exactly there. DD, who is 3, took 2 months to conceive, decided to try for another when she was about 18 months old. It took 18 cycles over 16 months and the longer it went on the more of a state I got myself into over secondary infertility, panicking that my DD would forever be an only child. I was so miserable and desperate for the best part of that 18 months, but we got there in the end!! I am now nearly 8 weeks pregnant with DC#2 and fingers crossed it all goes well from here, DD will finally be a big sister. I know just how it feels every month, I honestly had myself convinced it was never going to happen, but it can, and does. Take confidence in the fact you have already done it once, so the chances are good it will happen again, it might just take time. How long is your LP normally? Have you tried all the tricks to try and lengthen it? Do you know how long your wait is to see the gynae?
Sending lots of positive pregnancy vibes your way, it will happen for you!!!!

Mrsbadger77 Mon 08-Dec-14 18:44:36

Thanks for replying Gingerbreadhead. Congratulations on your bfp. My LP is 9-10days and yes I've tried everything. Every month from about cd8- AF shows up I convince myself this'll be the month. I plan when we'll be able tell family, the age gap and when I can go on mat leave and every month AF gets me. I've seen gynae once who sent me away to do some blood tests. He'll get me back in when the results come through. He wants to do a lap and dye too but I really hope I get my bfp before that as it sounds very scary. I hope you have a lovely pregnancy.

LittleRedRidingHoodie Mon 08-Dec-14 18:52:41

My lp was too long. I saw a chinese acupuncturist and herbalist after we'd been trying 13 months. The next month my cycle was 14 days either side of ovulation and I fell pregnant. I don't believe, I'm not a hippy - just desperate to avoid IVF. In that month I had acupuncture once a week and drank revolting chinese herbs. It was worth it. Maybe try that?

MuffinMcLay23 Mon 08-Dec-14 19:06:49

Its very hard. It took us ages to conceive DC2 who is due soon. I almost wanted to get pregnant even more second time round because I couldn't bear the thought of DC1 being alone with no siblings! People think that because you are lucky enough to have one child you should just be grateful for that, which of course you are, but if you desperately don't want DC1 to be an only child, as I didn't, then struggling to have DC2 can be really upsetting. I hope you get your BFP soon x

Mrsbadger77 Mon 08-Dec-14 19:07:18

Congratulations littleredridinghoodie.

I had been wondering about acupuncture as it's about the only thing I haven't tried and there's one nearby! I like it when I have something new to try!

Mrsbadger77 Mon 08-Dec-14 20:33:09

Muffinmclay23 it is almost harder in a weird way. When you're trying first time you don't really know what it'll be like to have a child but now that I have one and I know the happiness that it brings and all the love you feel you just want more and to make that child happy with a brother or sister. It's so hard to avoid situations that keep reminding you what you don't have. And people assume because you've had one you can have another so they think nothing of asking when you're having another. Well I'm glad it worked out for you in the end. Good luck

TheScenicRoute Mon 08-Dec-14 21:54:52

Fear not please. I feel your pain. I'd been trying for 4&1/2 years for #1 and had reached the point of suicidal thoughts on at least two occasions. I did need IVF unfortunately, and finally fell pregnany on my 6 th and definitely last cycle. I needed a lot of medications to support the pregnancy including steriods and immunosuppressants, blood thinners, hormones and goodness knows what else! As drastic as this sounds, if you are adamant that you need to persue all avenues then there is plenty of help you have not yet explored... I truly hope it doesn't come to that for you.

Above everything, I honestly believe the very fact that I had truely in my heart of hearts given up all hope of success, I feel this helped me chill out and stop monitoring and researching the medication and the processes. Quite frankly I was like a zombie at my appointments, I'd let them do anything to me and then I'd get back on with my life without Over thinking it. I truely believe this had a huge bearing on my success. Unfortunately you can't rustle this up, until you reach that point naturally nobody can tell you that's what you need to do. Good luck with your appointments, it's a long hard struggle but dig deep to find the strength. X

StuffedOwl Tue 09-Dec-14 09:01:47

You're not alone in your thoughts of desperation for another child and how heart breaking it is every month. I have been there, but what worked for me was acupuncture (no herbs though).

I also had a 9/10 day lp. After a year of trying, including a mmc, I went for acupuncture, the first month my lp was 3 days longer (which was hard as I thought I was pregnant) and the second month I ovulated on day 15, rather than day 21, and got pregnant. So it definitely did something to my cycle, because I'd been regular as you like, temping for a year, I don't believe it was a coincidence. Also it really helped with my trying to relax about my situation.

Give yourself a day or two to wallow, pick yourself up and start again this month. Good luck x

Mrsbadger77 Tue 09-Dec-14 18:54:16

StuffedOwl thank you so much your story has indeed given me hope. I've made an appointment for some acupuncture for after Christmas and I can't wait! Yet another of my lovely mummy friends has just given birth for the second time and I'm desperate for it to be me soon. Good luck! X

Mrsbadger77 Tue 09-Dec-14 19:16:23

TheScenicRoute God I wish I could chill pity and stop thinking about it. But it's on my mind constantly and I'm obsessed a little with temping and charting etc. maybe I'll try to give it up this month and just DTD as much as possible without thinking if it's the right time or not. Sorry your journey was such a rough one and I really hope I don't need IVF but if I did I would do it.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: