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SIL miscarriage after fertility treatment - what can I do?

(9 Posts)
babyblabber Thu 04-Dec-14 21:11:34

My poor lovely BIL and his wife are losing their baby after a long road to get pregnant. I am so sad for them. Hopefully it's a good sign that she got pregnant & they will have more luck next time but in the meantime, does anyone have any ideas/tips on anything I could do for them?

I've had two miscarriages myself but to be honest I was kind of ok, upset but I had two kids to keep me busy & thankfully, get pregnant quit easily. I'm currently 32 weeks pregnant with my 3rd so very conscious of how lucky I am in comparison & hope our baby's arrival isn't upsetting for them.

I also got SIL in the family KK for Christmas and would love to get her something special, any ideas?

StuffedOwl Thu 04-Dec-14 21:18:11

When I had a mc earlier this year my sister sent me an online delivery shop for the next day of chocolates, ice cream, snack food for my children, bubble bath, trashy magazines, some staples of milk and bread etc. so I didn't have to leave the house for a few days. Suited me perfectly, so maybe an idea for her?

Buttercup27 Thu 04-Dec-14 21:21:22

stuffedowl that sounds so lovely. Thinking back to my mc I would have loved that. What a nice idea.

bluetrain Thu 04-Dec-14 21:25:02

when I got home after my ERPC there was flowers and chocolates waiting for me on my doorstep that my lovely SIL had got delivered. it was an incredibly lovely gesture, it was nice to know she was thinking of me.

StuffedOwl Thu 04-Dec-14 21:29:05

Yes, my sister is amazing. It made me cry it was so lovely of her.

LittleBairn Thu 04-Dec-14 21:32:38

Honestly so many people are quick to offer support and hold you hand in the early days, its a few weeks later when everyone forgets or feels awkward when you mention it, that's the problem.
I would be there for them now or if they prefer give them space but remember in a months time to offer support as that's when she's likely to need it.

Brummiegirl15 Fri 05-Dec-14 07:37:48

I completely agree with littlebairn when everything had calmed down and I'd "physically" recovered everyone went back to their own lives and I felt so alone and isolated. It was horrendous. That is when I needed help the most

Happilymarried155 Fri 05-Dec-14 07:51:34

Your poor sil this happened to me last year, I can't describe how sad I felt at that time after a long journey to get pregnant and the unfairness of it was just awful. Just be there for her if she needs you, I had friends ignore me because they didn't know what to say. It was horrible.

However fast forward a year and I'm 30 weeks pregnant, so happy you wouldn't believe. I really hope she gets her happy ending. It does happen! X

babyblabber Fri 05-Dec-14 12:55:32

Thanks girls. Some great tips. Love the shopping idea.

My heart is breaking for them.

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