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Pregnancy after stillbirth.. Absolutely petrified

(11 Posts)
Elja1127 Tue 02-Dec-14 19:10:45

I'm currently 11 weeks pregnant with my 4th baby, it was a totally unplanned pregnancy, I got pregnant on the pill. I decided not to have anymore children as it was just too risky as my 3rd baby was stillborn at 27 weeks due to severe pre eclampsia, to say I'm petrified that the same is gonna happen in the pregnancy is an understatement, I'm a nervous wreck, constantly crying and my head is all over the place sad

Gunpowder Tue 02-Dec-14 19:16:17

I'm so sorry for your loss Elja. flowers

I have no experience of this but imagine you will be monitored super carefully and will get the very best care antenatally and on labour. I am wishing you a very boring pregnancy and hope it goes smoothly as it can for you.

Gunpowder Tue 02-Dec-14 19:16:35

*in not on. smile

blackwidow74 Tue 02-Dec-14 19:22:28

I too am pregnant after still birth and totally relate to being all over the place ... I've had to fight to get any 'extra' care as my son's complications were rare and so little is known about it they don't know how to monitor it ... I'm now 20 weeks with my baby girl and all seems to be ok in there but I am still so anxious with every twinge!! It doesn't help when no one really starts monitoring till later ... but with pre eclampsia I'm sure you will be very closely monitored from 20 weeks as this is when it can come into play ... so try for the next few weeks just to relax and enjoy your new bean ... There is no reason it will happen again and now you have history (though sad) it will spur more prompt action this time around. Don't hesitate to bug the gp/midwife for reassurance ... They will understand your anxiety and it's their job after all to make sure you are ok! And you have us here to vent to if things get on top x

Tzibeleh Tue 02-Dec-14 19:36:02

It's understandable that you are worried and upset. I remember how I could not settle down or even tell anyone that I was pregnant until I had passed the point at which I had previously miscarried. How much stronger that feeling must be after a stillbirth.

I know two women who have had stillbirths, who both subsequently went on to have healthy babies at term or near-term. Both, however, found that their HCPs tended to play down the stillbirth. Not meaning that they dismissed it, but that they insisted that it had been a fluke and was highly unlikely to recurr, so there was no need for extra monitoring. Both women insisted on extra monitoring, and got it. Both went on to have normal, healthy pregnancies, and nothing untoward was ever detected. Nonetheless, the extra monitoring helped their emotional well-being enormously.

There may be midwifery counselling services for pregnancy post-stillbirth that you can access. There is no way you should have to bear this worry alone.

Elja1127 Tue 02-Dec-14 19:41:21

Thanks gunpowder I'm hoping for a boring pregnancy too.. Fingers crossed

Blackwidow74.. Yes I've been told I'll be very carefully monitored and I've already been put on low dose aspirin (I wasn't on it in last pregnancy) as apparently this helps thin the blood so easier for my blood and nutrients to pass through the placenta to the baby, I'm hoping and praying this helps, congratulations on your baby girl hoping everything goes smoothly for you

LittleRedRidingHoodie Tue 02-Dec-14 19:43:46

Oh Elja. That's so sad and completely understandable that you're incredibly anxious. I took great comfort in reminding myself there was very little I could do to affect the outcome other than keep myself healthy and take each day. I've had miscarriages but never a still birth. A friend has and she regularly paid for a scan to calm herself. I don't know how often the Nhs would scan you but if you can afford interim scans that may help you. I wish you all the very best. Xx

Ducky23 Tue 02-Dec-14 19:57:37

So sorry for your loss sad there is a thread of us that have suffered stillbirth, I wish I could link but can't on my phone. They are a great support if anyone could help out with a link?

My dd was stillborn and I fell pg the following month as I was desperate to be pregnant again but also terrified! I am now 36 weeks with my rainbow. It has been very very difficult and did have to fight at the start for extra care but managed to get it. I am constantly ringing the assessment unit with 'reduced movement' and will be induced at 37 weeks. They were no support at all until I hit around 28 weeks and have been great (mostly) ever since.

It definitely isn't easy but will be worth it in the end. I'm sure they will keep a close eye on you and don't be afraid to fight for extra care x

blackwidow74 Tue 02-Dec-14 20:10:56

Elja pop over to the Sands website and in the shop you can download a teardrop sticker (you can buy too but just opt to print out a page instead) and pop this with your notes ... I wrote a brief history of JJs pregnancy and birth ... and put it right at the front of my maternity notes ... its harder to ignore for anyone who reads your notes smile and good luck ... message anytime x

angelopal Tue 02-Dec-14 20:39:49

So sorry for your loss. There is a next pregnancy group on the SANDS forum that kept me sane with my second pregnancy. Lost dc1 neonatally.

Hope all goes well for you.

Elja1127 Wed 03-Dec-14 11:26:40

Thanks for all your supportive and helpful replies.. I'll defo pop over to the sands website

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