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Dont want to do this anymore

(25 Posts)
NoMorepls Tue 02-Dec-14 17:52:03

Regular but NC .

I'm 6months pregnant (been trying for 5 years)

I suffer from severe anxiety & depression which I had under control until my GP stopped all my medication as in his words 'The baby will be born a drug addict if I were to keep taking them' so he stopped them both immediately and since then my mh has deteriorated drastically though I do have the occasional 'good' moment .

I can't speak to My midwife as she is also completely useless and will only see me when I'm due a check up (next one is 26 weeks) and then she expects me in and out of her office within 5 minutes .

I leave my house once a fortnight only for a few hours the rest of the time I'm just in my room hiding away , I'm of no use to my Dp as I don't do anything to help round the house or help with our Ds - I won't even answer the phone or the door .
Dp has to do the school run everyday in between working .
I don't have any friends to talk to and my family only want me when they need something.

I don't know what to do , im not sleeping and I have zero appetite , no point in switching GP surgery as I would still have the same midwife , I'm not young though I'm treat like a teenager when it comes to asking for help from my GP etc (im 27)

Nobody is willing to help me & at this rate I'm going to be no use to my Ds when he is born if I can't even look after the one I have.

Flingingmelon Tue 02-Dec-14 18:04:57


I have no experience with this but I just wanted to give a hand hold until the wise posters turn up.

Your husband sounds wonderful and if they have only stopped the meds because you're pregnant, won't you be able to go back on them once you've had the baby? Won't that help when he/she has arrived?


blackwidow74 Tue 02-Dec-14 18:14:14

Firstly I want to give you a hug and say well done for reaching out ... its a huge thing for anyone suffering to say hey I need help ... much more diffIcult for someone suffering mh illness.
your gp was wrong to stop your medication and even more wrong to be so blunt as he was. There are medications you can take during pregnancy and he should have lowered your dosage while the switch was made ... He has done more damage than good to take them away completely.
Do you have a mental health worker you can call on or was your treatment only gp led? I would be inclined to make another appointment and ask that you see a female gp ... then be as honest as you have been here and hopefully she will see just how serious the situation is and how your gp has not helped. Failing that present at a&e and they should get you seen by the mh team.
Is dp supportive? The last thing you need is to be feeling so little self worth and so useless ... ! My hubby is having to do quite a bit of the running around and housework as I'm struggling too but yanno they did sign up for half the work of being a parent the same time we did ;) you need the time to get yourself back on track ... and that means taking the reins again and taking back control from the depression ... there's no shame in finding things hard work but sometimes we are the only ones who can make the call for ourselves!
Sending hugs and strength x

NoMorepls Tue 02-Dec-14 18:20:55

It took almost 2 years for me to get settled on my medication properly and for it to work as it should (Citalopram & Phenergyn) and from what I have read online neither of them would have that kind of affect my GP said they would .

Dp is a star though I can see it's dragging him down tbh .

NoMorepls Tue 02-Dec-14 18:22:09

I don't have a MH team I can access & I really don't want to turn up at the hospital as I would be more than likely put on the MH ward

Fubsy Tue 02-Dec-14 18:37:46

Your GP sounds like a twat if you don't mind me saying so. Youre not supposed to come off Citalopram like that, it should be gradual. Also a quick shufty round the internet suggests its one of the less risky ADs to take in pregnancy - and the risk is around heart defects, not the child being a "drug addict" which is a load of crap. Its an AD not heroin!

Can you see a different GP even if the midwife is the same? It sounds like appalling management of your depression, and it won't be good for your baby if you feel so awful. Hope you can find someone more helpful - is there a woman's health clinic or something you could go to?

Halfpastthelegofmyshirt Tue 02-Dec-14 18:50:37

Ring the community midwives main office (the number should be on the front of your maternity notes) and ask about their mental health support. There will be someone who will help you.

And yes, your doctor is a twat!

coastergirl Tue 02-Dec-14 22:24:08

I'm so sorry you're going through this :-( Your GP and midwife both sound absolutely useless.

I also have severe anxiety and depression. I was taking Paroxetine prior to falling pregnant. I fell pregnant at a really difficult time. I'd just had the most amazing year, but had just been told I was being moved to a different class at work and had completely fallen apart. So I was already having a rough time. I'd been thinking about trying to come off my medication anyway, partly due to having had such a good year and feeling I might be able to cope, and partly because of side effects. When I saw my doctor, I was told that Paroxetine is the worst antidepressant to be on during pregnancy, and was supported to wean off it gradually. The doctor also made clear that there were other meds I could try and to go straight back if I was struggling. When it became clear that I wasn't going to cope without medication, I went back to my GP. He did very thorough research and put me on Amitriptyline which is safe during pregnancy. My midwife and GP have both been fantastic, in fact every health professional I've come across during my pregnancy (I'm due in March so at a similar stage to you it seems) has been great, and have always checked that I'm getting all the support I need. I was referred to the antenatal mental health team who then referred me on for more specialised support (I'm being assessed for Aspergers). I'm not saying that all this has made everything ok. It hasn't. I'm really struggling, am currently signed off work and feel like, if I can't look after myself (which I currently can't), how on earth am I going to look after a newborn?! But it does really help to know that the support is there, and my husband is beyond amazing.

Anyway, I didn't mean to tell my life story, sorry about that. My point was to illustrate what support you SHOULD be receiving. I cannot believe the appalling "care" you are getting! I agree with the person who suggested calling the community midwives office. There should be someone you can be referred to. And I'd try and see a different GP. There are definitely medications that you can take during pregnancy. I know some people think you shouldn't, but my husband and I are agreed that it's best for us as a couple and as a family once baby is here, for me to be on medication. For that reason we've decided that I won't breast feed as I can't do on my meds.

Mostly though I just wanted to say good luck. Please feel free to contact me if you think it will help. We are in a similar situation and I wish you were getting the support I am.

coastergirl Tue 02-Dec-14 22:24:25

Eeek, sorry for the essay!

NoMorepls Tue 02-Dec-14 23:10:31

I will try the community midwives again but all I ever get is an answering machine & I never get a call back .
My GP surgery only has my GP & a different locum every week which is crap .

Thanks for answering me

coastergirl Wed 03-Dec-14 00:11:52

Could you try the maternity unit at hospital then? There should be someone who can at least point you in the right direction. Re the GP, you might even be better with the locum! One thing I find really difficult, is admitting to my doctors how bad things really are. I always intend to but then end up fighting back tears, when really I should let them out. Try to be really honest with them. They have a duty of care to ensure you get the help that you really need.

Peaceloveandbiscuits Wed 03-Dec-14 00:12:36

Forget the community midwives office; call triage. You need help as soon as possible. There's no need for you to be unmedicated during pregnancy - it's obvious from what you've experienced that you're more of a risk to your baby unmedicated (not eating/sleeping/going out) than the meds would be. There's no way I could have got through pregnancy without antidepressants and very close monitoring of my mood - you've been very brave to soldier on to six months on your own!
There's no reason they'll section you, they will hopefully arrange an appointment with a consultant or a specialist mental health midwife (if your trust has such a thing) to discuss treatment.
You don't need to suffer through this on your own. Ring triage/labour ward and ask for some support. Your GP was very wrong to have treated you the way he/she did.

fifiloulou Wed 03-Dec-14 11:10:49

I'm so sorry you feel like this but from some of the other posts you're not on your own, if that's any consolation. You're also so brave by posting on here in the first place and half way there to doing something to help yourself. Your partner sounds amazing too. I've found GP's quite often talk rubbish, but we've been conditioned over the years to have to listen to them. You don't have to. You are entitled to argue with them and disagree with what they're saying. You can also say that you are not happy with your midwifery care and so you HAVE to have another one. You don't have to put up with what these people are telling you.

BigCatFace Wed 03-Dec-14 12:19:45

Your GP is an arsehole and I'm sorry you've been let down so badly. I know it can be tricky to decide whether to take medication in pregnancy. I take medication for bipolar disorder and really I couldn't have coped without it. You've done so well to get this far, and it sounds like you're at your wit's end having been left, so wrongly, to cope alone.

I agree that you could call triage but if that feels too big then I would speak to your midwife or CPN. I'm not sure you have a perinatal mental health team in your area but they're not scary, and they're very unlikely to hospitalise you or anything like that. They're just there to support you, both with medication choices and emotionally.

Really glad to hear you have a partner and so sorry your GP is a fecking arse.

coastergirl Wed 03-Dec-14 13:14:00

I agree with what bigcatface says about them being unlikely to hospitalise you. I have had suicidal thoughts at times during this pregnancy, and have been honest with the doctors about this. Their response has been to keep a closer eye on me and more communication between the different professionals. There has been no mention of hospitalisation at all. Please try not to worry about this.

BigCatFace Wed 03-Dec-14 13:50:36

Also I'm sorry as I misread your post and thought you had a MH team. Could your DP come with you to talk to midwife so she realises how serious this is and stops being shit? I know I have sometimes clammed up alone- having DP there has helped me.

NoMorepls Wed 03-Dec-14 18:55:58

Sorry not ignoring people .

Dp works 7 days a week and is not able to take time off unfortunately .
I'm hoping to have rung someone by the end of the week I'm just trying to work up to it

Peaceloveandbiscuits Wed 03-Dec-14 19:02:19

I understand needing to work yourself up to ringing someone. We're all here supporting you. Remember that the sooner you set the ball rolling, the sooner you will start to feel better - which is what you need and deserve.

WorryWurta Wed 03-Dec-14 19:52:44

I'm so sorry you're going through this but well done for asking for help. I have a kind of similar situation myself - in the sense of struggling to be referred for help via the GP. I haven't really figured it out myself but what people have suggested to you is all really good advice. The only thing I would add that you could try - this has been on my mind because until I am referred to MH team I can't get access to the Crisis Team number - is to wait until you are in a very distressed state and call 111. This is one of my plans at the moment because I am always too calm when I see GP/midwife and they don't take me seriously, I think somebody needs to see me when I'm really 'off it'. I used to work as an adult services social worker and my opinion would be they are very, very, very unlikely to admit you to hospital. At least that's the logic I apply to myself based on what I have seen in my personal and professional life. It is extraordinarily a pain in the ass for all the professionals and the most expensive treatment option, IMHO there are more people denied hospital treatment who need it than admitted unnecessarily. But 111 of an evening might get you to an out of hours GP (ours it at the local hospital walk in clinic) who might be better than your usual person. I hope you get some help, hugs.

ChatEnOeuf Wed 03-Dec-14 20:27:38

Your GP has done the wrong thing here - I don't know about phenergan, but Citalopram is well-used in pregnancy. The babies are monitored for a couple of days after delivery, and then go home with mum.

I would strongly suggest getting a perinatal psychiatry referral - from CMW, or from the locum at your surgery. If not, the maternity triage at your hospital should help. As you know, ADs take a while to reach steady state and shouldn't be stopped abruptly. It may take a while for you to start feeling better, so the sooner you get the ball rolling, the better.

When you're feeling up to it, I would also suggest a formal complaint against both the manner of your GP and their advice/management. They sound like they have much to learn on both fronts.

CommanderShepard Thu 04-Dec-14 08:57:10

Chat is right - I was on citalopram with DD and all was fine - there is a very, very, very small risk of heart defects but the benefit to me was far greater than the risk.

Unfortunately GPs have form for this, in my experience. Mine took me off it, I couldn't cope, and another GP in the practice put me straight back on and went on the warpath with the first GP.

NoMorepls Thu 04-Dec-14 15:03:06

I have an appointment with the midwife next Wednesday so hopefully I might be heard this time iyswim

coastergirl Thu 04-Dec-14 15:17:57

Good luck with the midwife. Mine suggested referring me to the antenatal mental health consultant and then rang and made the appointment while I was there (this was at my booking in appointment), but if your midwife doesn't suggest this maybe you could ask her? It really is so important that your mental health is looked after during pregnancy, as well as your physical health and that of baby. Meanwhile, it might be worth seeing the locum re meds? There really is no reason for you to struggle on without medication. I understand how hard it is to work yourself up to ringing or seeing someone though. I find it very difficult, particularly with the phone.

NoMorepls Thu 04-Dec-14 15:21:15

I tried making a GP appointment today but their are none available until after Christmas , so I have to ring at 8am every day to try & get an appointment which from past experience isn't very likely at this time of year

coastergirl Thu 04-Dec-14 15:45:16

I hate that. I also hate that they ask you if it's an emergency, because most people assume that an emergency means you're bleeding to death! But in the context of a GP practice, it just means that you need to see a doctor soon. Do you have a walk-in centre near you? I know that near us there is a walk-in GP service, which is attached to a hospital. Might be worth giving somewhere like that a go, especially if your regular GP is being pretty useless about this! If they can't prescribe something for you, they might be able to point you in the direction of someone who can help.

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