I really hate being pregnant - how to cope?

[makeitabetterplace]

I'm 31 weeks pregnant with awful rib pain - can't walk or sit. Also now got rash everywhere. I'm really in awful pain and am dreading this getting worse for ten weeks.

I am delighted we are having a baby after years of trying and several miscarriages. I'm very grateful but I'm so ill that it's making me very miserable. I have had to cancel all social stuff as I can't walk more than five mins and I can't drive. I'm frightened that I won't be able to labour or push as even having a poo leaves me in tears.

The Nhs have pretty much just shrugged. My osteopath is doing his best but it's not changing anything.

I'd love to hear stories about how to cope/ that this will somehow get better etc. I know I should not be moaning but I'm so deeply unhappy and tired of constant pain.

[GooseRoasties]

You sound just like me... I'm currently 37+5

I also struggle to walk, my ribs and pelvis feel like they are going to snap. And all I feel like doing is shove a flaming stick up there to smoke the boy out!
Lots of ice cream is getting me through this and taking each day as it comes.. Being pregnant isn't easy, its damn well hard. Unfortunately i don't have any rainbows or pot of gold to show you but it wont be too much longer until you get to hold your little one. Home stretch now baby!

[stargirl1701]

Is it PGP?

I had it in my second pg. I took co-codamol every single x4 throughout the second trimester. I reduced the co-codamol in the third trimester and took just paracetamol by 36 weeks. I was on crutches for the last 6 months. I wore a support belt for the third trimester.

Physio (Women's Health specialist) gave me exercises to do on my birth ball as well as advice for safe movement. I used a plastic carrier bag to turn to get out of the car. I needed my DH to lift me out of bed for the last 3 weeks.

The pain and discomfort disappeared in labour as the oxytocin and endorphins hit my system. The labour was fine but faster than DD1. I used a TENS, my birth ball and paracetamol at home. I switched to gas and air at the hospital. I have birth on a mat on all fours with my ball as support. The pool was still filling up when DD2 popped out as that was my original preference.

I found the first week post partum really hard. I stayed in the midwife unit for 4 days and then went home. I was admitted to hospital overnight by ambulance on the fifth day with a uterine and bladder infection. I stayed 4 days. The consultant prescribed Fragmin as she was so concerned about my mobility. One week exactly after the birth, my mobility returned.

I am still seeing Physio (3 months post partum) to improve my core strength. I have a bulging lumber disc as well as the PGP.

It really had a big impact on my bf plan. I had planned to use biological nursing positions but I couldn't lie in that angle due to the pain.

I would focus on what support you need after the birth as well during labour.

[makeitabetterplace]

It's not pgp. I had that but the osteopath worked miracles and I've thrown the crutches away. It's dislocated ribs. I just want an hour pain free. The osteopath keeps putting the ribs back but then they just come out again because the surrounding tissue is too damaged to hold them and the relaxin has made everything too floppy.

I don't know how you're not insane with still being in pain after the birth. I'm pinning all my hopes on it going away once baby is out. And I'd like her out asap.

[MrsMargoLeadbetter]

OP I feel your pain. I had all sorts with DD, SPD, bruised ribs, sickness. It was horrible.

For me I did feel better once she was out, in fact my 2nd thought after she "she is out and alive" is "thank goodness I am not pregnant anymore".

I had a 2nd glorious epidural and managed the quick labour ok.

For me the SPD cleared up straight away.

My main advice would be to carry on as you are - only do what is essential. Everything else can wait until a later date. Catch up on loads of TV etc.

She will be here soon....just hang in there.

Wishing you well for the birth.

[makeitabetterplace]

Thank you mrsmargot. Your message has me welled up. I'm so envious of glowing pregnant women and I feel so alone and in pain.

[MrsMargoLeadbetter]

Oh make it is hard, there are images all around of "glowing" pregnant women.

I know I felt like a freak with all my ailments and pain and felt really distanced from the whole thing. My friends and family seemed more excited my pregnancy than I was.

Have you tried anything like acupunture for the pain? Might be worth a shot if you have the cash.

Even if your path "here" was difficult you still have the right to feel f**ked off and miserable with the constant pain.....

Is there anyone in RL you can moan to?

[Frasras11]

Hi Make,

It's so hard when you have a crap pregnancy experience. No one tells you how hard it can be and you feel guilty for not revelling in what everyone tells you is an amazing experience. I also wanted to punch any pregnant woman who fitted the glowing description. I now think a lot of women probably lie about how they're feeling for fear of being ridiculed for just being pregnant.

I hated being pregnant, sick every day, SPD and crutches, unexplained bleeding, separated stomach muscles, it was a nightmare. Can you not talk to your midwife? If you're not happy ask to see another one. And badger your GP about the ribs. Sounds awful but there must be some sort of help for you.

It's no consolation but it will be over soon and you'll have your beautiful baby. My SPD disappeared straightaway after birth. The muscles took a little longer but I'm all in one piece. Just try and relax and look after yourself. The people who really matter will rally round and won't mind you cancelling things.

Good luck xx

[Noyoucantwatchpeppapig]

I really hate pregnancy too, currently 32 weeks with DC2 and despite knowing I am not doing it again I still hate it. People tell me I'm blooming but I mainly feel like shit.
I don't have any major medical problems just usual pregnancy niggles of heartburn, back/hip pain, some rib pain (although it is better than 1st pregnancy), not feeling like its ny body and a generally grumpy outlook on things.
However the rib pain does usually improve when the baby drops. It did with my first and I was really struggling with it until then.
Also giving birth made me feel a million times better. Even though I was breast feeding I felt like me again physically and much better mentally. Not long for us now