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Reality hits home today

(11 Posts)
supersupersupershock Tue 25-Nov-14 09:09:56

Well following from my thread yesterday where I found out to massive shock am pregnant aged 42, the excitement has turned to crying and loneliness. I have split up with the dad and he took it ok, said he would support me but I feel so alone. He has 2 grown up kids and is obviously very shocked to be in this position in his 50's. Just feel a bit lost

supersupersupershock Tue 25-Nov-14 09:14:49

Also, have been on anti-depressants for some years now. I often forget to take them for days so am pretty low dose fluoxetine. Haven't taken any for over a week through through first forgetting and then realising was late period so didn't want to. Spoke to doc and he said ok if I just stop and see how i get on... anyone else been through this?

Bondy83 Tue 25-Nov-14 09:18:33

Big hugs take each day as it comes & try not to think to far ahead we all panic when we find out were expecting whatever the circumstances. You might not be in a relationship with the Dad but it's good he's being supportive and hopefully given his age he will have a mature attitude towards being a supportive loving Dad. Children don't nessessarily need mum & Dad to be together they need them just to be amicable and have the babies best interests at heart. Yes it might be a shock for everyone but I suspect this is one lucky baby who will have loving parents & big brothers & sisters who will absolutely dote on him/her once he/she arrives

supersupersupershock Tue 25-Nov-14 10:09:12

Thanks bondy. Lovely message [sob].... at least I can blame pregnancy hormones now :D

BeginnerSAHM Tue 25-Nov-14 10:17:12

Very sorry you are feeling like this as I was really happy to read your news yesterday... Not surprising though really. I think most people get worried when reality kicks in and it's bound to be tougher as you're not together with the father. But, you'll be fine. I have a few happy single mother friends - they are all much happier since splitting up with their partners, although admittedly the ones I know were in couples when the baby was born (not in happy supportive relationships though so can't say whether they'd have managed better on their own). Do you have supportive friends around?

If you start feeling very down though, I'd go back to the GP. I've been on fluoexetine on and off for years, although most recently sertraline, but stopped taking them when I got pregnant this time round. It's been ok for me (mostly..wink) but the GP said to come back if I felt bad. Plenty of pregnant women do take antidepressants and there are some that are thought to be safer than others if you and the GP think it's better/safer for you to be on a low dose. You could also access non-drug support - CBT etc. I'm not a huge believer in therapy for me but I did find CBT useful when I tried it. Just a thought.

Sure somebody will be along soon with some relevant experience and suggestions...

RubMyLamp Tue 25-Nov-14 10:21:38


I'm not pregnant (yet) and take Amitriptylene and Propranolol which the GP has said is very safe to take when I'm pregnant/breastfeeding. I don't know about fluoxetine though (I can't take SSRIs) The KellyMom website has good info.

Congratulations flowers cake

supersupersupershock Tue 25-Nov-14 11:24:13

I think its going to be up and down next few days. Feeling excited about it again now. PArents have taken it really well but then they have known for many many years all i wanted was another one.

Will take a look at kellymom website - that cake looks yum!!

Tranquilitybaby Tue 25-Nov-14 11:52:12

Aww bless you, it's a lot to take it right now I'm sure, but you're going to be fine. X at least the father will help you if you need it and your parents are pleased you, so you have a good support network xx

upthewolves Wed 26-Nov-14 12:23:18

Hi Super! I have also just found out that I'm pregnant and feeling quite shocked and unsettled! I'm a bit younger than you and although I understand that you have concerns about going through pregnancy as an older mum, I think that adjusting to this at any age is a big deal and it is normal (I HOPE!!) to feel lost.

One of my friends had a baby last year at 39 and she was worried she would be older than all the ladies in her mum's group... half of them were older than she was! And fantastic mums!!

You have a lot to think about but give yourself a break and let yourself adjust for at least a few days... my mind has been buzzing with so many decisions I have to make. I am terrified every time a new thing pops into my head that I have to decide about! I am terrified in general even though I have wanted a baby for many years. I'm a bit of a stresshead at the best of times so I'm trying to remind myself that my baby is going to be wondering wtf is going on in the outside world if I don't remain calm over the next nine months!

Lots of best wishes to you!!!

p.s. I've done fluoxetine too, I would not recommend stopping them outright, you should taper off antidepressants by halving the dose each day or alternating the days.

KittyandTeal Wed 26-Nov-14 12:34:58

It sounds like you have a lot to deal with atm.

If I were you id contact a midwife or your GP and ask for a perinatal mental health referral. It sounds like you're going to need some extra support through this pregnancy, especially if you are already taking anti depressants.

I'm sure there are some AD that are safe while pregnant.

I was under the perinatal MH midwife for my pregnancy last time and it really helped.

supersupersupershock Thu 27-Nov-14 23:31:25

Hi all - forgot about this thread. Am feeling much better at the mo so hoping it will mainly stay this way. Seeing midwife next week so will discuss anti depressants with her

How is the shock doing upthe

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