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Am I being over sensitive?

(7 Posts)
lilmisslibrarian Wed 19-Nov-14 13:25:55

I am currently 10 weeks +5 pregnant with my first and I have been a bit nervous and overwhelmed with it all!

DH and I told both out parents and some close friends but asked them not to tell anyone else as it was still early in the pregnancy and up to us to decide when we want to tell others (probably after the first scan).

I met up with my in laws today and they had some relatives over-the first thing they said was congratulations and how excited they were. I was a bit shocked as I wasn't expecting it especially after asking my ILs not to say anything and the relatives they've told aren't people they are close to!

I am a bit hurt by this as the ILs didn't even look awkward when I looked shocked and it's made me wonder who else they have told. My parents have asked a couple of time if they can tell others and they haven't when I have said no so I am bit annoyed about the whole situation.

Am I being over sensitive or should I just let it go?

tomanyanimals Wed 19-Nov-14 13:30:43

I would be annoyed an would probably say so but nothing can be done now but you know in future to not say anything until your ready for everyone to know so take as a lesson learnt?

LittlePink Wed 19-Nov-14 13:34:56

Yes i'd be a bit annoyed about that. Both sides asked if they were allowed to tell anyone and we said no. Then when we had the scan they again both said "can we tell people now?" to which we said yes, you can. Go for it. What to do about it, well, I would ask DH to have a word and say we were a bit disappointed by them telling people. My DH hates confrontation so I bet he wouldn't say anything and I wouldn't say anything to in laws. I would if it was my parents. I would just withhold any further information until I was ready to share it ie things MW says at appts or scan details etc.

People do funny things with baby news I find. My work friend came to the hospital uninvited then posted a pic on facebook of my new baby and me looking like shit announcing the birth before i'd had a chance to announce it myself. Odd.

Pusspuss1 Wed 19-Nov-14 13:39:46

Bloody annoying! This happened to me with my first pregnancy (my SIL), so this time we're not telling anyone until after my scan. People don't mean any harm, but to you it's a huge deal, and to them it's really just a bit of interesting news, so they have trouble keeping it to themselves. I feel slightly bad that we haven't said anything to our parents yet though, as they weren't the ones who blew our cover last time!

lilmisslibrarian Wed 19-Nov-14 13:51:41

I just find it a bit frustrating- we werent going to tell anyone but I had awful nausea and tiredness and we see my parents and ILs regularly so knew they'd figure it out or be worried.

I will ask DH to say something to them, i think with any other subject it wouldnt bother me but this is such a big thing for us I wish they would have just respected our wishes. I wont be saying anything else about scans etc to them.

NancyRaygun Wed 19-Nov-14 13:54:44

They should have respected your wishes but I say let it go - they are just excited. It is up to you when you tell the world of course but excited grandparents just can't keep that news to themselves! Their unabashed response shows they truly didn't understand how much it meant to you to keep things private.

monkhelz82 Wed 19-Nov-14 19:31:34

Not at all are you being over-sensitive, I can sympathise with you on this one. My MIL was the first person we told when I was 6 weeks and we asked her not to tell anybody. I wanted to telephone my side of the family as I am very close to all of my aunts. However, she immediately put on FB how excited she was to be expecting her 5th grandchild which began a barrage of phone calls and messages from all manner of friends and family enquiring as to if I was pregnant! We could not lie at this point as it would unfairly put the same questions upon my BIL and SIL. I was really upset and hurt about this as my twin found out this way and friends and work colleagues found out far earlier than I would have liked. It meant I had to speak to my boss before I was ready and now at 8+5 the whole world knows! I just feel it should be up to the parents to decide when people be told and while I appreciate family will be excited too, they should respect your wishes. Also, if anything (God forbid) were to "go wrong" it would be awful to have to tell everybody instead of just being able to deal with it as a family. I only wanted to wait until the first scan before making it public knowledge but here I am now thinking the worst and worrying. I don't think people realise the psychological effects of their actions sometimes, I really don't...

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