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What are you putting in your birth plan?

(40 Posts)
makeitabetterplace Tue 18-Nov-14 21:06:07

I'm 29 weeks and starting to think about the birth plan. It's my first and I really haven't got much idea what to put or even if there is much point putting anything.

Currently I'm thinking that I'd like to have a water birth if possible, I would like gas and air and an epidural if I can't cope . Not keen on pethidine or any drug that will mess with my head.

I will have a doula with me and will be trying to do the hypnobirthing I've been practising - do I need to mention that?

I don't want to be induced and would rather have a caesarean (please don't make this post about this, I've done my research and I'm adamant on this if I am allowed a choice.)

I didn't want forceps or ventouse but presumably I don't get any say on this?

Delayed cord clamping sounds sensible and I want the baby on me as soon as she comes out.

Is there anything else I should be thinking of? Is any of this pointless even saying? I'm very aware that I don't know what will happen and the midwives and doctors know more than me and will do what they need to do. I'm just not sure what should be said.

What are you doing?

ToriB34 Tue 18-Nov-14 21:52:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

makeitabetterplace Tue 18-Nov-14 22:25:32

What's IM vitamin k? I hadn't thought about not being able to give consent so I will consider that and I would have thought it would go without saying that hubbie should get first cuddle if I'm not 'around' but I will mention it too. Maybe stuff that 'goes without saying' is the stuff that really needs saying! Thank you.

ChickenMe Tue 18-Nov-14 22:32:56

Hmm I'm not too clued up on what you can and cannot put but I do not want those BBQ forceps (Kiellands) anywhere near me.
FWIW I agree re:inductions makeit
Skin to skin contact the minute baby comes out. I do like the idea of OH having first cuddle Tori My OH worries about bonding because of me BFing so he might like that.
Jury out on epidural.
Am v lucky as my DM is a retired midwife and she was amazing (if I do say so..) and very pro breastfeeding which is something I want.
Oh yes no visitors until we say (I have rellies who would burst in if they could. Fills me with horror).
My friend had a Doula and was full of praise for Doulas.

ToriB34 Tue 18-Nov-14 22:39:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diggerdigsdogs Tue 18-Nov-14 22:43:19

1. Give me an epidural
2. Skin to skin asap on me or dH if I'm unavailable.
3. No analgesics after birth. I was given one in china and had immediate uncontrollable shits for an hour. Refused to haveit in Sydney and they were pushing me to as the pain might be bad after epidural wears off.

I'd avoid having too detailed a plan. Decide what is non negotiable and work from that.

TheBooMonster Tue 18-Nov-14 22:48:24

mine says about wanting vitamin K injection for baby, that I don't want ventouse or forceps anywhere near me, if i need intervention it'll be a section thank you please.

It reminds them incase they miss it on the notes that I have HMS so need deeper stitches, and due to DH's NF1 they need to do extra checks on baby, and also that I am due to have an active 3rd stage, they're not to entertain trying otherwise.

It also informs them that I'm planning on using Homeopathic remedies (DH will have a laminated list), hypnobirthing, TENS and trying to stay active where possible. mostly because DH is worried about all the 'voodoo' messing with conventional medications!

It also states that I'm happy for students to be involved, and to receive blood products where necessary but if possible I don't want bump fed formula, I am going to be armed with a pump so I can express if baby has to go to NICU.

I'm going to ensure DH has a laminated copy (but also knows what's on it) as neither he nor the midwives looked at the birthplan carefully planned out in the boxes at the back of my handheld notes last time!!

ImBrian Tue 18-Nov-14 22:53:20

I wrote 'look after my bits' on mine and that was it. I gave birth on Saturday and amazingly my bits are the least painful part of me smile

I tried writing birth plans with my other dc but then at the end of the day did whatever was necessary to get them out healthy.

makeitabetterplace Tue 18-Nov-14 22:56:55

Ha ha! I love 'look after my bits.' Did they read this and laugh or did they take it seriously? A friend of mine was being stitched up and the chap doing it kept asking her husband 'is this what she looked like before or should I do a bit more.' Hate the idea of two men deciding what my bits should end up looking like.

Casmama Tue 18-Nov-14 23:09:51

I would imagine that if you are having a doula you will discuss your wishes wIth them and they will be your advocate. I would double- check that there is no issue with having two birth partners though just in case.

Shouldn't be any need for a breast pump as you are better hand expressing colostrum and if your child is still in scbu/ NICU when your milk comes in then they will provide you with a hospital pump IME.

EllaJayne123 Tue 18-Nov-14 23:21:54

I wrote a long birth plan that was not stuck to at all! (Wanted natural birth lots of skin to skin ect Ended up with EMCS under GA so didn't even see her for 3 hrs post birth and dp didn't for 1 hr post birth - didn't plan for that so they just guessed and did whatever was easiest for them!) next time my birth plan will say 'get the baby out' and if that happens.. You've done what your supposed to do in labour nothing else matters!

ImBrian Wed 19-Nov-14 01:13:16

Yeah they did actually but then the midwife went into detail about how she couldn't promise anything as I've had a episiotomy before and scar tissue isn't as stretchy etc etc.

etienne1 Wed 19-Nov-14 08:52:55

I had a plan, hypnobirthing in a pool... well that did happen, in fact I was in that pool at 8cm for 8 hours! Wrinkled and tired I got dragged out and had an EMCS under GA (Nice to see someone else had one Ella haven't met anyone in rl who has had one!)

It's nice to have a plan and the hypnobirthing REALLY helped, but don't hold onto it too ardently smile

broomy123 Wed 19-Nov-14 09:18:48

morning, I actually did one last night as I don't have long to go! Have a look at this page:
I printed off the birth plan and just filled it out, it may raise some questions for you to think about. My midwife said don't put things like -'I don't want forceps' as no one wants forceps they are used when necessary and you will just want your baby out safely. I for one really don't want them but in an emergency then you have little choice. Ideally I would like a water birth and just gas and air. However I am keeping an open mind as things can change. I have put other things like I want my husband to tell me the sex and that I have had SPD.

Sarkymare Wed 19-Nov-14 09:23:14

On mine I said I would like to have just gas and air in the birth pool but was open to change my mind

That I didn't want a student nurse present (I changed my mind once she popped her head round the door and asked if I minded her helping my MW out. She was bloody lovely and I hope she can deliver this baby too!!)

In block capitals I wrote '' NOBODY IS TO TOUCH ME WITH OUT TELLING ME FIRST. I DON'T WANT TO BE ON ALL FOURS AND HAVE SOME ONE START POKING/LOOKING AT MY BITS FROM BEHIND AND TAKING ME BY SUPRISE" I had saw this happen time and time again on OBEM just lifting up her nightgown to have a good look without saying a word. I told DP to ensure they stuck to this and they did.

I would like skin on skin contact to BF as soon as DP has first hold.

That I wanted DP to cut the cord.

That I would rather have a section than forceps delivery, but if one was desperately needed then my consent is given, but only as a last resort.

That in the event of a section or forceps delivery I would like DP present.

I basically followed the NHS template here and then added other things that were important to me ie the touching me without telling me first.

harrowgreen Wed 19-Nov-14 10:02:21

Not bothering. Waste of time.

You're either in control enough to be able to talk through your wishes with people, or it's all going horribly wrong and you couldn't care less what they do, as long as they get the baby out and make it all stop smile

If it's an emergency, nobody's going to bother to read your plan, and if it's not, you can speak to them.

Birth plans are responsible for a lot of people's disappointment with the childbirth experience IMHO. You can't really plan for childbirth.

Think through what might happen. Work out your feelings on various things and tell them to DH, so that you're (both) ready with answers. But I honestly wouldn't bother spending hours on writing down a detailed plan. It won't happen like you want it to and you'll be disappointed.

AnythingNotEverything Wed 19-Nov-14 10:17:32

I think it's more helpful to think of it as a birth preferences list. Mine said things like I'd rather stay active than lie on a bed, I'd rather have a natural final stage (to deliver the placenta), I'd like to avoid unnecessary internal examinations, I'd like the room dark and my music playing etc

There were no caveats (possibly because I didn't feel strongly about anything), but I think my plan helped DH and our midwife (who was brilliant) set the scene. If we'd required intervention, I wouldn't have been disappointed, but I think that's because I framed my plan as my ideal, rather than what was definitely going to happen. I felt in control because I was informed.

It's a really really tricky thing to plan for, particularly first time around.

rubyboo2 Wed 19-Nov-14 12:15:30

Epidural is the only thing going into my birth 'plan' lol . Birth never goes to plan ! This is my 3rd and I will just be going with the flow .

fortywinx Wed 19-Nov-14 12:36:25

Oh my gosh I'm so glad I've read this and realised that I'm not the only one who desperately doesn't want forceps as an intervention. (Too many bad experiences in the family, including when they tried it on my mum with me.). I'm definitely going to put that on my birth plan in that case!

To be honest I'm not holding out much hope of my birth plan being followed, too many factors that means things will change and evolve (hell, I might change my mind at the time, I have no idea what to expect!), but at least there's a chance that it might be followed if you have at least done one.

So long as the baba is delivered and I'm left in as fit a state as I can be, that's what I'm mostly worried about. Except for the evil BBQ tongs that is _

stripedtortoise Wed 19-Nov-14 12:38:38

I'll try to sound as least goady when I say this as possible.

First DC birth you, I was 'well I'd like this and that and I don't want that'

Second DC....'Whatever happens happens'

You see? grin

strawberryshoes Wed 19-Nov-14 12:47:22

Same as toroise!

Although I might have said "yes to vit K and assisted delivery of the placenta" with DD2.

Although both mine were very simple, straightforward and relatively fast, so there was no need for any intervention, and I was happy to let the midwife know as things progressed what my wishes were.

Gemz1806 Wed 19-Nov-14 12:58:53

I never bothered 1st time and won't this time either! They will do what they need to do to get baby out! I did write one thing, "don't ask husband to cut the cord" he really didn't want to but didn't want to feel like he had to say yes if they asked. They must have read it, or I blurted it out in my diamorphine state wink, as he wasn't asked! grin

HazleNutt Wed 19-Nov-14 12:59:28

For most part, I agree with harrowgreen - You're either in control enough to be able to talk through your wishes with people, or it's all going horribly wrong and you couldn't care less what they do.

I am glad I put the delayed clamping on the plan though - at that very moment, I probably would have forgotten to mention it. And that if baby and I are separated, I want DH to be with the baby.

Another thing that I personally regret, but it's probably not relevant for you - I gave birth abroad and did not check out the details of birthing here. So it came as a total surprise when they expected me to push on my back, feet in stirrups, and I was too tired and overwhelmed to argue with this. And that the birthing room was basically a standard hospital room - no birthing balls, beanbags, mats etc that you would expect - I really did not want to be on the high bed, but there was no other way. So if you have already chosen the hospital, I would try to find out, if there are any such surprises you should expect.

makeitabetterplace Wed 19-Nov-14 13:11:15

All good ideas and suggestions. I'm not naive enough to think I write the okay and that happens wink

It's worth thinking through what could happen and what I feel about each possibility so I don't have to spend time asking questions or my partner worrying about what I would prefer if I was able to say.

I meet again with my doula soon so I will ask her if we can discuss it.

I totally understand the poster who says she wrote a plan for her first but not second. Second time round you know more about what to expect. First time round I expect we are thinking it through so we don't feel as scared of an unknown.

muddylettuce Wed 19-Nov-14 18:13:08

I didn't write one with my first. I just went with it. I had a vague inclination for a water birth but all the pools were taken so that would have been a waste of time. I didn't want an epidural but had to have spinal in the end as needed emcs after failed forceps. The cord was wrapped round baby's neck twice so I had no chance of delivering naturally but we have it a good shot! I would write one if you have specific wishes but don't be too despondent if your labour doesn't go to plan...they rarely do! Your hypnobirthing will stand you in good stead for coping with pain though. Good luck! X

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