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"Are you sure there's only one in there???"

(33 Posts)
GailLondon Tue 18-Nov-14 16:28:57

Have had that comment 4 times in the last few weeks. I'm 30 weeks pregnant in my second pregnancy, so looking quite big now, have put on 20 pounds (a normal amount I thought) and all my measurements are coming back as perfectly normal/average.

I was size 12 pre-pregnancy with a curvy hourglass figure, so was never going to be a lovely slim pregnant lady with a neat little bump. I don't particularly like the way my body looks right now and feel pretty self conscious about my massive thighs and trying to find clothes that don't make me look like a tent!

Constant comments from people about my size, combined with my third trimester tired emotional state are really not helping!! I try and laugh things off but the next comment I get I will probably burst into tears. Today's guy just got a death stare from me.

Anyone else feel the same? Any top tips? Is it worth responding or just try to rise above it?

luckynumbereleven Tue 18-Nov-14 16:34:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hugoagogo Tue 18-Nov-14 16:37:45

You poor thing, people do talk a lot of crap.

I am sure you look lovely. I do think it's best just to laugh it off if you can.

fortywinx Tue 18-Nov-14 16:41:02

I've already had comments like that from people who know, and I'm not even 12 weeks yet (I have a teeny bump already which is probably mainly guts and wind to be honest blush).
It's going to be really old by the time I get to 30+ weeks and is from acquaintances and strangers. Might be escalating from a polite chuckle to heavy sarcasm or telling them to eff off by that point I think!
Of course if it does turn out to be twins I guess I'll have to eat my words...

Thehedgehogsong Tue 18-Nov-14 16:47:36

39 weeks here and you are right, it gets bloody old bloody fast. I am sick of this question, as well as 'how long have you got?' fucking forever it feels like And 'What are you having?' a BABY you knobhead

GailLondon Tue 18-Nov-14 16:49:20

Yes I will try very hard to keep laughing it off. Sometimes i imagine replying with "well at least I can lose the weight once the baby's here, but you'll always be a *insert insulting word*". Of course I would never be so horrible to say that in real life! So I just imagine it instead and I feel a little better smile

Oneandahalfboys Tue 18-Nov-14 17:01:00

I'm 36 weeks and fed up with my grandmother telling me there's no way I'll make it to my due date, my dates MUST be wrong because I'm so huge. My in-laws telling me my bump is twice the size of last time, its not, I got a photo out to show them. Plus my mum asking me if they've told me its twins yet?! What like 'oh whoops there’s another baby hiding round the corner'.

Luckily I haven't had any comments from strangers otherwise I think I would burst into tears, the family I can just put down to being bonkers. I did tell my grandmother my dates were not wrong because I knew when the baby was conceived, that shut her up for a bit grin.

Just remember all people are idiots and talk rubbish and treat yourself to another chocolate biscuit cake.

juneavrile Tue 18-Nov-14 17:33:00

I think maybe just understand that it usually isn't personal. It's amazing to me how many strangers want to say something but it's usually older people who want to tell me about their grandchildren or just have a little chat.
Of course they can only ask how much longer, whether you know gender and comment on size. The latter tends to be a bit annoying, but most of the time it's just saying something for the sake of it. And it can all get a bit wearing if you're not in the mood.

Artandco Tue 18-Nov-14 17:39:52

I used the get the opposite as tiny bump.
Them ' when are you due'
Me ' in 10 days'
Them ' that's not possible, does baby have a growth problem'!
Me ' erm nope, but thanks for the confidence!'

Both times tiny, both times babies over 7lb

butternut22 Tue 18-Nov-14 17:42:09

I have been told by a stranger it is obvious I am having a boy because "you are carrying all the weight in your backside"

TriciaMcM Tue 18-Nov-14 17:52:00

I've had the same person tell me a couple of weeks apart 1. I was huge, my dates must be wrong, was there a chance there were twins and then 2. I was so neat, you'd never know I was anywhere near x weeks & it must be great to have such a small bump hmm

Ignore and smile politely, people just feel the need to say something

I did tell my mum to stop going on about how big I was at one point & no, there were no issues with my dates, she was shocked it bothered me and said several times that it wasn't like she was saying I was fat, it was just my bump. She'd honestly never thought it could or would bother anyone.

babyblabber Tue 18-Nov-14 17:59:38

I'm 29 weeks on my third. DS was 11lbs & DD was 9lbs and I'm 5ft 3 so as you can imagine, my bump gets very very big!

At the moment I've had a few comments but also a lot of very surprised faces when I day I'm not due til end of January. One women actually said "I thought you'd say early December!"

Not much you can do, people with small bumps get comments to and then get paranoid there's something wrong so you can't win!

RevoltingPeasant Tue 18-Nov-14 18:17:12

Also goes nicely with "there's no way you'll make it to January"

The correct answer to this is to growl: 'Neither will you if you say that again' followed by <PA smile> 'Just kidding ha ha!'

This week I had this:

Woman at work: Oh I've just seen you're pg.

Me: Yes, 29 weeks now. So will be around the 7-month mark soon!

Her: No you won't.

Me: confused

I've also had 'ooh it's so neat' AND 'gosh you're huge' AND 'it really suits you' AND 'I thought you'd just put on weight you fat bint' all within 3 days of each other!

muddylettuce Tue 18-Nov-14 18:27:06

Urgh! My least favorite pregnancy comment. Got so bored of fake laughing in response. I am gearing up for it again as I'm 13 weeks with number two and I probably look 20 weeks pregnant. Been off work with hg and dreading the comments when I go back in.

MrsCosmopilite Tue 18-Nov-14 18:33:53

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I think you should just tell people to mind their own business.
I don't understand why people feel the need to comment. You're a female, you're pregnant. Wonderful for you; nobody else's business.

FWIW, I am a grumpy old cow and often gave sarcastic responses or death stares when pregnant with DD. (I also had a day where person A said my bump looked small, person B said it was big)

luckynumbereleven Tue 18-Nov-14 18:42:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LetticeKnollys Tue 18-Nov-14 18:58:51

I generally never minded answering questions on my pregnancy if it was someone I was actually engaging in conversation with, but I admit that sometimes I wanted to be able to just buy a bottle of milk without being quizzed on the contents of my uterus!

batmanandrobin Tue 18-Nov-14 19:05:17

oh i remember this... the worst thing the world was when the comment was accompanied by a STRANGER touching my bump!!!!!

it didn't get better, i get equally annoyed when people touch my baby!!!

cheesecakemom Tue 18-Nov-14 19:06:56

At 12 weeks someone asked me if I was 5 months!!!!!

And when DD1 was about 4 months old another mum asked me when I was due to deliver!!!!

Vinylux Tue 18-Nov-14 19:08:53

I get loads of chat like that. I'm still debating whether "oh would you just FUCK OFF" is an acceptable response to start giving people.

Whenwillwe3meetagain Tue 18-Nov-14 19:11:39

My boss loved to say she was standing next to me to look skinny! Considering she is 5'2 and size 8 and I'm 5'9 and size 14 I really didn't need to be pregnant to make a her look skinny! confused

avocadotoast Tue 18-Nov-14 19:12:48

Next time just look really shocked and be like "oh! Oh well... Medical professionals haven't noticed more than one, but you clearly know better, you must be right!"

(Or something that's much better than that wink)

batman I'm still quite early so no bump yet, but I swear if anyone touches my bump I will punch them in the fucking arm. Or just lay my hand on their belly and go "oh...is this not a two way thing?" when they get uncomfortable grin

makeitabetterplace Tue 18-Nov-14 20:07:49

Tell them to fuck the fuck off. And then make a comment about their massive arse, wobbly arms or tiny boobs.

JontyDoggle37 Tue 18-Nov-14 20:16:21

I'm going with "oh I've got fifteen months to go yet - it's crossed with an elephant!" Just as a completely random thing to say back that will hopefully freak rude people out :0)

Foreverblue Tue 18-Nov-14 20:53:40

I'm 38 weeks now and absolutely massive and have had this comment since the very early days..not a day goes by that I haven't had someone say it..that and 'oh you'll never last until your due date!'
I guess it's coz I'm only 5'1 and dp is 6'4...could be why I'm so big..I even shock myself when I get a side view walking past shop windows lol

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