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Pregnant, toddler in tow. Exhausting!

(21 Posts)
freelancegirl Tue 18-Nov-14 13:10:33

Anyone else pregnant with a toddler in two and feeling exhausted? Baby number 2 due by Christmas. If we're tired now how are we going to cope with the sleep/lack of with a new baby! My toddler is a crap sleeper anyway and just, at 2.4, exercising his right to the Terrible Twos. I keep holding on to people saying 'it's harder being heavily pregnant with a toddler in tow than it is with a newborn' but I'm not so sure.

butternut22 Tue 18-Nov-14 13:27:08

I am due in January and have a two year old. I am exhausted and he has started waking up two hours earlier in the morning! I too am hoping it is true that it is easier with a toddler than a newborn but I am not convinced x

Cuppatea14 Tue 18-Nov-14 13:27:48

Yes, me! I am beyond exhausted and feel like I'm being a rubbish Mum to DD for the last few weeks too. She's 2.5, and actually pretty good generally, but my patience is now non-existent. Doesn't help that the whole house is down with rotten head colds so I think we are all feeling sorry for ourselves. I'm not sleeping well either - seems very unjust right at the time we should be stockpiling the sleep!

Finishing up in work tomorrow, this newbie had better not arrive early! I plan on leaving DD in nursery in the meantime and try to rest up - can't wait.

freelancegirl Tue 18-Nov-14 13:32:34

I've felt like a rubbish mum all the way through too - first trimester I was too sick and tired and since feeling physically cumbersome I'm no longer fun mummy and able to run around/pretend to be a porcupine and other things he likes to do (animal obsessed - him, not me). I can't wait to not be pregnant any more (cs already booked for 23/12!) but am also terrified at the prospect of having two!

Shelduck Tue 18-Nov-14 13:33:26

I'm with you! Feel like I'm being a rubbish mum, although DS seems happy enough!

GreatJoanUmber Tue 18-Nov-14 13:36:04

I can't really say what's more exhausting, pregnant and toddler or new baby and toddler - it's a choice between a hard place and a rock!
I was very very exhausted last year heavily pregnant with no3, and a 2yo and a 4yo. When he was born, it was even shittier with a new baby and the two others, but I think mainly due to caesarean recovery (with complications).
My little one is now 10months old, and the others are 3 and 5. Slightly less exhausting, though still hard work- but it gets easier and easier as they get older (can't wait for DS3's first birthday!!).

freelancegirl Tue 18-Nov-14 14:17:53

I was hoping for several posts about how easy it will be with a newborn smile but having two under 4 and being pregnant must be a whole new ball game.

I DO see parents with slightly older children and some of them seem to be able to do things like, um, sleep so I am thinking there will be light at the end of the tunnel and we should just enjoy it. Ahem. I'm so bloody tired though.

butternut22 Tue 18-Nov-14 14:37:28

Me too! I look like I have aged about 10 years. I let my son walk through puddles in his brand new shoes earlier because I was too tired to physically stop him!

NowThenMardyBum Tue 18-Nov-14 14:43:32

Yep, due in Jan with a 19 month old DD. SPD and sciatica are making things interesting- I got stuck on the floor the other day!! Roll on newborn days, DD is a terrible sleeper so I am prepared for the onslaught. Anything has to be better than feeling like a big painful, tired whale!

Someone I know is pg with dc2 now her ds is 5,easy,sleeping and at school, newborndom is going to hit her like a shovel in the face!

Just think, in 18 a couple of years our lives will be getting a bit easier.

In the meantime, have some brew and cake

babyblabber Tue 18-Nov-14 14:53:02

I'm expecting no.3 in jan and feel soooooo guilty at the lack of energy I have for my 5 & 2 year olds. A trip to the shops exhausts me! I try to do one big thing a week so park, playcentre, playdate etc & on those days I have something that barely needs cooking for dinner.

I think it is easier with a newborn because although my DH knows I'm pregnant he doesn't realise how hard it is (even 3rd time around!) so expects me to be up to the same level of minding the kids as normal. Once I have the baby though (& this is what happened last time) he will completely take over the care of the others coz I will be getting very little sleep, feeding non stop & recovering from a section. It has to be obvious that I'm incapacitated to get any sympathy here!!!

LittlePink Tue 18-Nov-14 14:57:13

I feel like a rubbish mum too. Dd is 2.5 yrs old and is watching a lot of c beebies at the moment! I'm 33 weeks and feeling shattered most of the time. I get her out every morning and we do something like play group or garden centre but starting to feel it even doing that. by afternoon I'm good for nothing, apart from these exercises which I'm forcing myself to do as baby is breech so desperately trying to get him to turn!

ElphabaTheGreen Tue 18-Nov-14 15:04:25

I have a 15wo (born by ELCS) and toddler (2.5yo) and am close enough to the event to tell you that, yes, it is easier having a newborn and a toddler than being pregnant with a toddler!

Don't get me wrong, toddler + baby is incredibly exhausting, but you don't feel like you're going to collapse and die at any given moment, and even post-section, I was able to get down on the floor with DS1 much more easily than I had for several months previously.

It does actually help that DS1 was the shittest of all shit sleepers until shortly before DS2 was born, so going back to hourly wake-ups was like greeting a recently departed, if somewhat irritating, friend grin

LittleBearPad Tue 18-Nov-14 15:10:43

Thank you Elphaba. <clings to hope>.

I feel knackered and grumpy and guilty. DC2 due in four weeks was 4/5ths engaged at 34 week appointment so walking is distinctly painful, sleeping is rubbish and I need to buy gaviscon. DD has a grumpy mummy at the moment who can barely make it to the park and certainly can't run after her.
Plus we were meant to move house but it all fell through so are crammed into too small a flat with many many stairs. Temptation to wallow us very very high.

ElphabaTheGreen Tue 18-Nov-14 15:16:22

It'll all be worth it when you have to tell DC1 off for cuddling DC2 too hard smile

funchum8am Tue 18-Nov-14 15:31:27

Me too, I have 2.1yo DD and am due just before Xmas. Very happily began maternity leave at half term but it does leave me with DD to entertain all day! She is pretty easy to manage but for some reason woke at 3.30am for the day today which wasn't great. It did remind me of the night times with her (appalling sleeper but now OK) so I am starting to get my head around the nights to come...

It's all not helped by the fact we are moving house mid-Jan - baby had better not be very very late to come (as DD1 was) as it will knock our plans out of line!

Oneandahalfboys Tue 18-Nov-14 17:10:39

I'm another feeling like a crap mum because my 21 month old is right this minute watching cbeebies and eating crisps blush. In my defence, I'm due in 4 weeks, full of a cold that ds gave me & dh is away for work, hopefully back last flight in tonight. I'm struggling so much more than I did during my first pregnancy and can't wait for this baby to be born. I don't care what anyone says it WILL be easier with a newborn and a toddler grin.

TheBooMonster Tue 18-Nov-14 17:38:32

I have a 2 year old and am 19 weeks, DH comes home most days and exclaims some variant of "Oh you didn't feel like cleaning or in fact doing anything today then? Guess I'll do it" My joints are a state (especially my hips), I've written Mondays off completely, they are inside days, because after a weekend at work I can barely function enough to make lunch let alone leave the house!

harrowgreen Tue 18-Nov-14 20:35:59

Have a 4.3yr old, a 20m old and am 33wks with #3.

I am a horrible mother most days: all I seem to do is shout at them and then burst into tears. The 4yr old sort of appreciates that I'm huge and cant' do some things, but the 1yr old obviously has no clue, so his demands are the same. Can't really see how having the baby will be easier to be honest: I found being pg with #2 much easier than having the baby here.... Once the baby's here you're also responsible for its feeding/cleaning/safety on top of looking after the others...

Sorry to be such a pessimist!!

freelancegirl Wed 19-Nov-14 00:40:38

Ahhhhhh thanks everyone for the empathy, sympathy and general joint moaning. It makes us feel better I think to know we are not the only ones in this position! I compensate myself in that DS won't remember me being tired and rubbish - as long as I manage to recover ok and get my energy back after the cs and with a newborn.

Elphaba, it was me who was asking about sleep training on another thread and who saw Andrea Grace, but I think I also 'recognise' you from the sleep threads where I spent so much time hoping for an answer to dc1s terrible sleep!

Please do keep 'em coming. It's nice to know other people are going through the same. Makes me feel a bit more normal.

LittlePink Wed 19-Nov-14 11:28:21

I have less and less energy this week. I'm sitting here with dd covered in glitter from an angel she made at play group and have no energy to take it off her even though everything about me is saying I hate glitter and it's going everywhere and I can't bear it!

Another bug bear at the moment are these toddler politics at play groups. My whole being just sinks with tiredness and despair when I see dd fighting with another child over a pram or a toy. She had a pram blatantly taken off her by another girl this morning and had a hissy fit over it. The other mum wasn't doing anything to stop her child from snatching it which left it up to me. Cue get up off lazy backside and intervene- can't be!!!

Chipandspuds Wed 19-Nov-14 11:41:00

Thank goodness I'm not alone! I'm 37+5 and have DS who will be 3 in December. I'm so tired, last night I got 5 hours of interrupted sleep (better than the 4 hours the night before).

I feel like I'm so bad tempered and grumpy. I feel awful because I shouted at DS this morning as we were late getting out of the house to drop DH off at the train station for work. I have keep reminding myself he is almost 3 not almost 10!

I'm hoping it will be better once the baby arrives. At least then I can give DS a proper hug without my huge tummy being in the way!

I also managed to hurt my knee a couple of weeks ago so I still can't stand for long or reach anything on the floor let alone sit on the floor to play with DS. I'm hoping my knee will improve once I can take off the baby weight!

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