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No sexual contact!

(11 Posts)
beeecaaa Wed 12-Nov-14 14:41:14

Hi, I'm 12 weeks pregnant today.

I found out about the pregnancy 7 weeks ago, and since then, my partner and I have only made love 3 times.

I can't handle being touched sexually. I hate the thought of it, and it seems the things that used to turn me on, just don't work anymore.

It's definately nothing to do with my partner as I still fancy him, i just can't bring myself to act on it.

He doesn't complain and doesn't presure me but I'm feeling like I'm letting him down.

I don't know wether I should bring it up with him, so that he knows it's not his fault, or wether to just not mention it. I know he's frustrated but I don't want or need sex.

I don't know what he's thinking but I feel terribly guilty.

I'm sorry about any vulgar language, I tried to keep it as tame as possible.

Any advice would be much appeeciated.

TheHermitCrab Wed 12-Nov-14 14:56:25

I'd bring it up with him. I did with my OH. Communication is good, you're having the baby together and it will affect a lot more than your sex life smile

I was on and off like I don't know what. 12w not ineterested, 18-24 weeks randy teenager. 30w and a whale who has to roll out of bed, I couldn't imagine rolling around IN bed with him right now!

He understands... just one of those things smile You'll have many more distractions when the little un arrives x

ToriB34 Wed 12-Nov-14 15:01:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheHermitCrab Wed 12-Nov-14 15:08:52

Hubby was being very patient but in the last week he's started to make more comments about it.

That doesn't sound very understanding especially if you've had a bleed?

Some pregnant ladies get told no sex full stop! just the way it is. Was the sex that got us in this mess anyway so they'll just have to put up with a bit of unpredictability in the bedroom department for the time being!

ruth1104 Wed 12-Nov-14 16:28:33

definitely talk to him about it, im sure it would help him to hear you explain how you're feeling (and vice versa). Fwiw, my sex drive varied a lot throughout my pregnancy (from absolutely zero in the first semester) but probably the most sex we had was towards the end, which is totally contrary to what I was expecting but don't give up hope for the whole of your pregnancy already!

baby5ontheway Wed 12-Nov-14 16:47:17

I'm 15 weeks tomorrow and have not wanted it since day 1, in the first 12 weeks I was just too ill and tired, but that's started to ease and I still don't feel like it! Its starting to get to my husband as he's they type that thinks bed is for sex instead of sleep.

Its just one of the joys of pregnancy, just remember it won't be forever x

DontBeBlueBeARainbow Thu 13-Nov-14 00:55:53

I'm now 21 weeks and have been totally off it for a couple of months. The first trimester I felt rough, but when I felt ok I felt confident we could go for it as baby was tiny and well protected. But into the second trimester I just felt too conscious of the baby, and now my uterus is so pronounced when lying down, I don't want any pressure on it. Add to that, that every time we get going all I can think of is 'how is the baby?' and giving birth!

We still do it, I try to set the room up with low lighting and get in the mood and try to enjoy it for the intimacy rather than for DTD itself, as I don't feel sexy whatsoever.

RetroHippy Thu 13-Nov-14 09:50:47

30 weeks and we've DTD about 5 times since we found out I was pregnant.

DH was initially scared of breaking me as we'd had a chemical pregnancy the previous month, then I had a bleed at 16 weeks, then thrush, then he was ill, then thrush again...

Strangely, I do feel much closer to him as a partner in life, but I do miss the intimacy.

Might have a go at shaving my legs this week for one more go before bump arrives!

Don't worry, it is perfectly normal. You might find you fancy it again, or he goes off the idea, or other things prevent it. It doesn't change the fact that you are having a baby together. However, if he's being less than understanding perhaps a conversation about it will help?

helloelo Thu 13-Nov-14 11:17:16

First, as you can probably tell by the other msgs, you're absolutely normal.
For me it was week 2-14 > no sex drive AT ALL, had a bleed at week 9 so doc told us not to have sex anyway, week 15-30 > sex ALL THE TIME, week 31-xx > we'll have sex if he can get me out of my pillow fort!
We discussed each transition (me: "I'm sorry I'm so not into it / so into it right now, what do you think?") and he was hugely supportive.
Good luck!

TheHermitCrab Thu 13-Nov-14 12:13:46

helloelo Pillow fort! haha smile I'm surprised my OH fits in bed with my neck pillow back pillow, "in between my legs" pillow! lol

beeecaaa Thu 13-Nov-14 13:26:01

Thankyou all for your messages! :-)

Hopefully it will pass soon but nice to know I'm not crazy!

I agree, a conversation with the OH can't be a bad thing, just so he knows it's not his fault.

Thanks again ladies xx

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