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Asking for a seat

(20 Posts)
JennyBlueWren Mon 10-Nov-14 19:28:24

First time in ages I had to stand on the bus and I now (at 25 weeks) found it very uncomfortable. I've been getting leg cramps and been told to avoid standing for long periods.
My bump is showing but no one offered a seat. Should I have asked and if so who do you ask -do you pick a seat, a likely looking person or just ask the bus at large?
As it was 20 minutes later a seat came up and I pretty much rushed to it pushing old ladies out of the way.

smogsville Mon 10-Nov-14 20:45:17

I always ask on the tube when there isn't one spare. I'm not showing yet (16 weeks) and I don't fancy making holes in my coat by wearing the BOB badge so I pick a healthy looking young man. They always leap up straightaway in my experience. Done it twice today.

Lweji Mon 10-Nov-14 20:53:59

There should be reserved seats.
I usually stood by them and looked pointedly, making sure the bump was an obvious baby bump. At worst, I'd get the seat when people got up next.

I'd just ask if anyone would mind giving me their seat (unless there were only frail old people).

eastmidswarwicknightnanny Mon 10-Nov-14 21:19:07

I glare at people!! Most recently people were prepared to let me at 35weeks and ds 4yrs stand on a bus, an old man offered a seat I declined loudly saying he needed more than me but some people bags didn't need seats, a lady ended up taking child out of buggy folding it n we had a fold down seat.

smogsville Mon 10-Nov-14 21:38:01

Seriously, no need to get cross people, just ask politely! I've never been refused and this is the second time around of asking.

Psmith83 Mon 10-Nov-14 21:51:06

I second smogs comment- people are very obliging and most haven't noticed me standing or whatever. Commuting is highly unpleasant business, even when you're not pregnant, and the last thing most people are doing is looking around and making eye contact.

LuckyLopez Mon 10-Nov-14 21:53:12

If someone glared at me I'd definitely not offer. Nothing wrong with a please and a smile.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams Mon 10-Nov-14 21:57:50

At 25 weeks with a first baby you are probably at the "is she or isn't she stage". It's mortifying to offer a seat to someone who's got too much post baby chub and watch the light dawn on their bewildered face.

Wear the badge ��

Itsjustanotherday Mon 10-Nov-14 22:02:02

People used to glare at me on the bus when I was 18-22, when pregnant people wanted the seat etc.
Truth is, despite looking young and healthy, I was anything but. I was so poorly I could hardly stand after a day at work, sitting down on the bus home was hard enough. If I gave my seat up, I'd have collapsed. The looks I used to get were awful though.
I do appreciate the majority of the time people are just being selfish/rude by not giving up their seats, but not everyone has a disability you can see.

twiglet2 Mon 10-Nov-14 22:04:40

38 weeks and got the train home from my parents (hour long journey ) on Friday. Most people avoided eye contact, but a lovely lady gave up her seat for me before I had to ask anyone. I was very grateful!

NanooCov Mon 10-Nov-14 22:16:43

Just ask. Pre pregnancy I often didn't spot pregnant women to give my seat to - head down in a book or Candy Crush (or some other time wasting game) - so I don't get miffed when people don't notice me (even at 34 weeks with an enormo bump). I did get shirty with a bloke who I asked and who objected - I "targeted" him as he was wearing sports gear, in one of the seats nearest the door. He was engrossed in watching sport on his iPad and was unhappy that he then had to stand. Too bad - my right leg had gone numb and he was perfectly physically fit. If he was unable to stand I would have asked the next person.

avocadotoast Mon 10-Nov-14 23:54:49

It is difficult, because there might well be a reason someone doesn't want to (or can't) give up their seat - invisible disabilities etc. I haven't had to ask anyone yet (as in, I haven't felt like I needed to sit down enough to ask), and I'm not sure whether I'd be brave enough if the time comes hmm

purpleteapig Tue 11-Nov-14 08:39:58

Most of the time people offer me a seat on the tube/bus (I wear a badge) but on occasions where nobody seems to have noticed, i just politely ask. Never been turned down yet this time. Although last pregnancy a young guy refused when i asked to sit (at 8.5 mths pregnant) and then got a bollocking from several old ladies on the bus!

Passthecake30 Tue 11-Nov-14 08:51:23

Fake stumbling over or putting my enormous bump is their face on a packed tube worked for mesmile

I second wearing the badge if it isn't noticeably visible

wigfieldrocks Tue 11-Nov-14 09:41:19

It's amazing how inconsiderate people can be. Yesterday I had to ask a woman to move her bags off a seat so I could sit down (I'm 35 weeks so very obviously pregnant). She was quite huffy about it but did make space, wasn't going to offer it up of her own free will though! I fainted in a shop a few weeks ago as well and it was amazing how many people just walked past and pretended not to notice. Thankfully a lovely lady eventually came and helped but I was taken aback by how many people would prefer not to notice.

divingoffthebalcony Tue 11-Nov-14 09:45:13

On the tube, I used to politely ask whoever was sitting in the priority seat. I was always friendly and grateful. Never had anyone refuse or otherwise give me any aggro.

HazleNutt Tue 11-Nov-14 09:56:00

Just ask. There have been plenty of women complaining, that someone offended them by mistakenly assuming they were pregnant. So I would not offer a seat either, unless I was absolutely sure you're pregnant. It's a minefield.

TheHermitCrab Tue 11-Nov-14 09:57:22

I glare at people!! << just no need, that's the attitude of the grumpy self entitled OAPS I regularly get on my bus journeys. Why tackle rudeness with even more rudeness.

I have to use 4 busses every day for my commute to work and a lot of walking, very boring and tiring, my legs feel like jelly just getting out of my chair nevermind walking about. (I'm 30 weeks)

A lot of people are in their own little world when on busses, I know I am! Sometimes I'll have my bag on the seat next to me while dosing away on an empty bus, then realise it's got full and I look like a rude person who's bags need a seat! lol

Nothing wrong with asking anyone if you're struggling, i.e a teenager or someone who looks fit and healthy, hard to judge people by the look of them, sods law you're likely to pick someone with a disability! lol

Most people won't react badly if you're friendly, and the ones that do sod em!. smile

Most people are probably trying to work out whether you are pregnant or fat (I don't mean that in any offence to you) but what an embarrassing situation haha smile "would you like a seat?" "no no I'm just overweight" pml

Siarie Tue 11-Nov-14 15:39:10

I have a badge and actually the worst for me was the 1st Trimester, I felt so so sick and had to get off the bus early as I was going to faint. I didn't have my badge then but people wouldn't have moved if I had asked, there must have been about twenty plus people standing.

As I get bigger I will be asking for people to move if I need them to.

avocadotoast Tue 11-Nov-14 19:17:10

We don't even have badges here. Can you get them online or something?! They are a good idea but I've only ever seen them in London.

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