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mum in the delivery room , advice?

(4 Posts)
Naomip88 Thu 06-Nov-14 16:52:42

hello! I'm 28 weeks pregnant and starting to think about the big day- I don't have a overly specific birth plan aside from the fact I want it to be nice and calm (hopefully in a pool) .

My lovely partner will be there who is very laid back so I'm not worried about him but I've also asked my mum to be there which is a decision I'm starting to question!! We are very close but she is VERY chatty and bubbly which is great usually but I'm slightly concerned that she will be talking non stop and like any mother daughter relationship she can at times rub me up the wrong way (saying insensitive things and then saying ''i'm only joking!'' is a particular annoyance) .

I had a word with her to say that she would have to be a bit less chatty and that once its happening if I say I want a bit of peace then I mean it, she reacted in a slightly hurt way which is why I'm worrying now. I understand that she can't change her nature but I feel like it would be helpful to set boundaries now as I don't want to be shouting at her while I'm in labour as it will hurt both of our feelings. She gave birth to me and my two siblings without any ''birth partners'' (my dad is a bit of an arsehole and her family live in ireland) so I feel like she thinks I'm being ungrateful.

any advice?

SeptemberBabies Thu 06-Nov-14 16:58:07

Assuming she doesn't have the emotional capacity of a stone, I am sure she will be able to judge a suitable level of helping you along in labour and letting you concentrate. She has done it herself afterall.

I had my Mum in one birth and my MiL in another birth. Both were very much in the background to my DH who was centre stage as main supporter.

My only advise would be to establish this - she is there to support you and DH. Make it less about you and Mum and more about you and DH, with her being allowed to support you both.

WhyOWhyWouldYou Thu 06-Nov-14 17:42:55

~My only advise would be to establish this - she is there to support you and DH. Make it less about you and Mum and more about you and DH, with her being allowed to support you both.~

^ This. Also she's been through labour so I'm sure she'll be able to behave how you need, no matter her normal personality.

TriciaMcM Thu 06-Nov-14 18:16:20

I love my mum but would not want her there with me to be honest. I really liked that it was just DH & myself.

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