pregnant again... DS is only 11mo!!

[jellybelly701]

So today I found out I am pregnant. Going by my LMP I am about 4/5 weeks. I'm bloody terrified. I had a DS almost a year ago and was incredibly sick with hyperemesis. I lost over two stone just in the first trimester and it was easily the worst experience of my life. Childbirth was a walk in the park in comparison.

I'm so scared that I will suffer the same way this time round. I just don't know how I would cope. I'm also still breastfeeding DS and intended to stop within the next six months maximum. I feel bad that I will essentially be taking away the thing he loves the most and giving it to his sibling instead.

I guess I'm just shocked, very scared and very shocked. I'm hoping somebody here can reassure me that things will work out okay. Does anyone else have a short age gap between children? How did the existing children adjust?

Thank you for any replies.

[eastmidswarwicknightnanny]

Although scary it's quite a normal age gap 18mths-2yrs between children and sure many will come along and share their experience. I am due ds2 at end of the month but ds1 is 4 and now at school.

I have night nannied for many families who have had a gap similar to yours and they have found the tiredness harder hence having a night nanny 1-3 nights a week.

My sister has 11mths between child 3 n 4 (has 16mths between 1+2, 2.5yrs between 2+3) and manages fine Inc child 3 having special needs.

[RiverRocks]

Hi jelly.

Sure someone with experience will be along soon, but I just wanted to say congratulations

[Fullpleatherjacket]

A year and a few days between my dc's 1 &2 and an age gap of just over three years between dc1 and dc3.

TBH I don't remember a lot of it when they were very little. I won't lie. It is hard going when they're tiny but the rewards come later when they all enjoy and can do the same activities at the same time. You also get all the hideous stages over in one hit

I have no advice on the HE other than to take it as easy as you need to. So long as LO is safe and fed that will be enough at this stage. He won't feel he's missed out on anything you can't do with him as he simply won't remember anything about it.

Congratulations BTW!

[whatsagoodusername]

I've also got just over a year between my two and agree that yes, it's hard at first, but then gets massively easier and the DC are great friends.

Any chance of maybe hiring an au pair? It never occurred to me to do it and didn't have the space but someone to help out might be useful. Especially if you had hyperemesis with DC1 and are worried it will come back. Although my morning sickness was much easier with DC2 - I put it down to have close pregnancies. I hope it does that for you too!

And congratulations!!!

[ilovemonstersinc]

Ds is 4 has sn too
ds2 is 16months
ds3 is 3months! Its bloody hard but can ve done

[Leviticus]

I was pregnant with dc2 when dc1 was 13mo so similar (but not still bf). I also had HG for the first 3/4 months with both pregnancies.

I took cyclazine as soon as the first symptoms appeared, which took the edge off - it was not quite as intense and didn't last as long the second time.

I also had a lot of help from family. On bad days the gps would come and get dc1 in the morning and have him until DH finished work.

[jellybelly701]

Thank you so much for the responses.

We can't really hire a nanny, we can't afford it. MIL is moving closer to us though, so if things get too much she would swoop in and help with no hesitation.

If I remember correctly I was already living by the toilet at this stage with DS. Whereas I feel completely fine right now. I'm taking this as a sign that this pregnancy will be kinder to me.

[Rachie1986]

No experience but congratulations!

[BrieAndChilli]

I fell pregnant when ds1 was 10 months so there is a 19 month gap between him and dd.
To be honest it was easier having a small toddler and a newborn as we didn't need to go out and be anywhere at a certain time whereas when I had ds2 the other had nursery and school etx so we all had to be up
And out .
It means that as they are so close in age they are 'into' the same things, and wanted to go to the same places.

I did find ds1 weaned himself off me around 11 months as the pregnancy had changed the taste of my milk which can happen

[BeginnerSAHM]

I became pregnant with DC2 when DC1 was 7/8 months. Planned! It was tough but isn't that unusual. I had bad morning sickness (not hyperemesis though) with both pregnancies and a very demanding full time job (unpredictable late hours/weekend working at times). DC2 was a dream baby though and slept amazingly which made things easier. Congratulations and good luck! And the small-ish age gap is lovely now they are a bit older as they enjoy the same types of things and play nicely together (sometimes!).

[Oneandahalfboys]

I got pregnant with ds2 when ds1 was 13 months, I'm now 34 weeks pregnant and I am finding it hard because ds1 is ill. Can't wait for the baby to be born! Lots of random strangers have been telling me what a lovely age gap it is and how my children will get on really well and have loads in common . We'll have to wait and see if they're right! Congratulations.

[naty1]

I think at 11m you cant see how much easier DC1 will be in 9m time. Playing more alone, telling you what they want. Hopefully dC1 is sttn so you get a break before DC2. I 'wanted' tried for a gap of 2yrs but waiting for ivf, a failed cycle etc has made it 3 yrs.
I suspect few people get the age gap they want.

[ReadyForDinner]

Hi! Just wanted to say congratulations! I found out I was pg with dc2 when dd was 7 months old and was very much about it. Now due on nye and though really excited am intermittently filled with fear, guess you don't have the benefit of the rose tinted glasses this time around, you know just how tough and how joyful parenting can be. If its any comfort this pregnancy has , so far , been so much easier on me. Nausea nothing like last time and though I am knackered I think having dd to keep me busy means that certainly in the early days I would often forget that I was pregnant. First time around I was OBSESSED! Im trying not to think to far ahead, ride the roller coaster and just take it one day at a time. Oh and after 2 years of more or less total sobriety im looking forward to several in about 6 months time.

[GotToBeInItToWinIt]

DD is 1 next week and today I've found out I am pregnant again. I'm absolutely terrified. DD is an absolute delight but still doesn't sleep. I'm exhausted. I thought id have time to feel 'normal' again before starting again! I feel like it's unfair on DD too, as she's still so little. I know this is all ridiculous and we're both very happy, just finding it all very overwhelming. Just to let you know you're not alone.

[Pregnantagain7]

I found out I was pregnant again when dc3 was 14 weeks old. Dc4 arrived 3 weeks ago there is 13 months between them. I know it's early days but so far it's been great dc4 has slotted in really well and dc3 has been really unfazed by him. It's hard work and I'm knackered but I wouldn't change it for the world :)

[Queenofknickers]

I got pg with DS2 when DS1 was 9 months old and had hyperemesis. As much help as possible -relatives/childminders etc helped me as well as treatment for the hyperemesis (not much use but better now I hear). My 2 DSs are really close and I'm another one who, 10 years on, wouldn't have it any other way. Congratulations xxx

[Pikkewyn]

We have a very similar gap. I won't lie and say all was fab. I had HG and DD was still young enough to be happy pootling at home, in the garden with GPs whilst I carried my little white bucket everywhere we went.

Once DD2 was born the first 6 months were hellish but taking it one day at a time was the best way to cope. Now they are 4 and 6 it is brilliant, they play well together, are both at school.

The best thing I did was spend 2 days in hospital when DD2 was born. It gave me a bit of time to get to know DD2 and get bf established.

[YellowYoYoYam]

Congratulations!

I have a 15 month gap between DD and DS. Just wanted to say, I know that your worried about stopping BF, but your gap will be so close that you might not experience the jealousy and disruption that older children might feel, my DD didn't at least.

Another great thing is that your DS will probably still be napping and if you're lucky your LO might have a snooze while he's sleeping! So handy.

[YellowYoYoYam]

Oh also wasted to say, now DS is 9 months, we're really beginning to see a friendship develop between them. They make each other giggle and play little games. It really makes all the hard work worth it.

[DramaAlpaca]

Congratulations, jelly

I got pg with DS2 when DS1 was 7 months old, so there are 16 months between them.

I was still breastfeeding DS1 when I got pregnant, but DS1 weaned himself when I was about 12 weeks. Funnily enough, although I had horrendous all day morning sickness with DS1, I didn't start feeling sick with DS2 until I stopped breastfeeding, then it kicked in with a vengeance but only for about six weeks.

When DS2 arrived, DS1 adjusted very quickly because he was so young. There was no jealously or disruption or anything.

I'll not deny it was hard having a baby and a young toddler, but it got easier eventually!

DS1 and DS2 are 21 and almost 20 now, have grown up very close and are great friends.

[mrsbee2be]

Me too..... My youngest DD's are 12 1/2 months apart, planned but quicker than expected! I found the first bit easy as DD2 was still a baby too so still napped and gave me time to look after DD 3 or catch up on sleep too... It became more difficult as DD became more mobile, now ages 3 & 2 they are the best of friends, yep they argue & some days are a nightmare but I wouldn't change it for the world. DD has just started pre-school as session a week & I'm just getting some free time back.... Except I've just found out I'm pregnant again now I am freakin out!

[Jenny1231990]

I felt exactly the same as you, but my age gap is a lot smaller. My daughter is 6months and after having a scan I'm now 13weeks pregnant. It's taken me a long time to feel excited as I've worried about others opinions. Other half has been over the moon since I took the test.
so have a son who is 6 years old and he is the best big brother.
Now I actually cannot wait. People have big age gaps and small, we all manage, and you'll be fine. I hope you don't feel poorly like you did last time. I'm glad you have support like I do. Started telling people now and not had one negative comment. All the best xxx

[Elllimam]

I have an 18 month gap between my boys and it's been not too bad :) they are so cute together - my 4 month old watches and has big smiles for his big brother and my 22 month old hugs and kisses my wee one :) I am hoping they will grow up very close. I'm actually thinking of starting ttc no 3 next spring/summer

[muddylettuce]

Congratulations! No advice as there will be 2 years between my two when number two arrives but I am sure you will be fine! Re the hg, go to doctor and get medication asap. There is good evidence if used early enough and as a prophylactic they can really help. Good luck! X