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Plans for DC1 while in labour with DC2

(10 Posts)
Addictedtocustardcreams Mon 03-Nov-14 06:47:49

Just wondering how others normally arrange this especially if your family aren't nearby? From how many weeks do you plan to have someone "on standby"? My PIL are about an hour away from us but have just decided to go on holiday until a few days before my due date. My parents live a 3-4 hour drive away. Last time I was induced but had DD by 10 hours after the start of the induction process, so am kind of thinking it won't take all that long second time around!

Chipandspuds Mon 03-Nov-14 07:06:35

I have a similar situation, The only person I'd ask in DH's family does t have a car and is at least 30 minutes drive away (1.5 hours by public transport) and my family live about 4 hours away!

I have family staying with us a week before my due date. If I go into labour before 39 weeks, I have two friends and one neighbour on emergency call to look after DS until DH's family can arrive and take over childcare responsibility and in the meantime DM will be on the next coach!

I think it will work out fine it has to
If I go into labour when DH is at work I'm more worried as he will be 1 to 1.5 hours away. I've told him I'll get a taxi to hospital and meet him there (having got someone round to look after DS) as DS was born in 5.5 hours from me waking up one morning! I really don't fancy a home birth!

Chachah Mon 03-Nov-14 09:00:05

was also wondering about this... both our families are abroad, we do have friends but none of them have children of their own and I'm afraid it'd be too big of a favour to ask.

so I'm not sure where this leaves us? babysitter? but what if I need to go to hospital in the middle of the night?

RumAppleGinger Mon 03-Nov-14 09:10:07

We'll be dropping DS off with a neighbour on way to hospital where he'll stay until MIL can get through, collect him and look after him until DS2 arrives.

Have two neighbours on standby in case one is out/has an emergency etc.

bagofsnakes Mon 03-Nov-14 10:57:36

Also in the same situation. DH's family is abroad, mine a 3-4 hours drive/train ride away. I have my sister on stand-by, I'm going to call as soon as I go into labour and hope that she gets here in time for the birth (planned home birth) but failing that I have a couple of neighbours who have agreed to take DS if they are around and his regular child-minder/babysitter will also be on call. Dreading having to ring around people in early labour to sort it out though.

Also quite concerned that my first labour was reasonably quick for a first baby - 8-9 hours. If I can expect it to be quicker this time I'm nervous that I won't get DH home in time (it'll take him 1.5 to 2 hours to get home), won't get DS sorted in time, midwives won't make it on time and I'll end up giving birth on my kitchen floor with a traumatized 2 year old for company - this is the thought that keeps me away at night grin - that and the endless dance party inside me.

Here's hoping that we all go into labour during the night and that our DC1s sleep through the whole thing :-)

bagofsnakes Mon 03-Nov-14 11:01:34

Chachah, I'd say babysitter. Could you have a couple on call and offer to pay a bit more for coming out in the middle of the night? I've offered my baby sitter £5 more that her normal rate an hour for being called out in the middle of the night (in the case that I have to be transferred to the hospital), she seems happy with that.

BeginnerSAHM Mon 03-Nov-14 13:17:58

Had a similar issue with DC2. DC1 born very fast (2.5 hours after I work up with 'constipation pains' blush) so I was planning on having my parents to stay from 37 weeks when I was pregnant with DC2. Trouble was, DC2 was born at 36 weeks. Thankfully, I had a friend staying who could look after DC1 until our nanny arrived (10 min drive away). Second labour was just over an hour from first twinge. I'm rather nervous about what's going to happen with DC3 (nearly 32 weeks preg now). I have neighbours on standby and am prepared to call 999... Parents will come to stay at some point but neither of us wants them to be living with us for 4 weeks before the baby arrives!! Really hope it doesn't happen when husband is at work though. (Unless I'm at work too - then it will be fine as his office is a few mins from mine and DC1 and 2 will be at school or have childcare...)

Without meaning to sound flippant on diminish your problem, you should (?!) be fine if you have a couple of friends, or a babysitter willing to be 'on call', nearish and grandparents who can takeover when they reach you. Second labours are rarely less than half the time of first ones. Of course, they sometimes are though...!

TiredNow Mon 03-Nov-14 13:48:38

I had a homebirth for pretty much this reason, no-one to ask for DS1 so I had DS2 in the bedroom whilst DP looked after DS1 in the living room and kept nipping in for all the important bits - worked out really well in the end (the online shop even got delivered halfway though!) but I genuinely don't know what would have happened if the plan had failed for any reason

purpleteapig Mon 03-Nov-14 13:54:24

I'm a bit concerned about this too as we're expecting 2nd and have no family/friends living nearby. We've also quite recently moved so don't feel like we know the neighbours well enough to ask them to watch toddler until family arrive (about 1.5hrs away).
Just hoping the SIL who's 1.5hrs away will get here in time. But equally don't want to call her too early and then have to be at home with her for hours if the hospital won't let me come in!

capecath Mon 03-Nov-14 14:18:42

We had this same issue. Wouldn't assume 2nd labour is going to be quicker.... I was induced with DS1 by drip and he was born about 4 hours later. DS2 had waters broken and he was born about 4 hours later as well... so who knows! We had contacted a few people to have on standby and had written down availability times, so if one couldn't make it at last minute, would have a backup. Had a friend who could only help at night for example and others who could only help during day, so one took over from the other, which DH just co-ordinated. It actually worked out well in the end! If you have a neighbour who could help or at least a friend who lives nearby that would be ideal.

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