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Facebook seems to be a popularity contest these days

(17 Posts)
baby5ontheway Fri 31-Oct-14 08:49:00

It seems everytime I go on facebook and someone has announced a pregnancy, if your not very popular on fb then the pregnancy doesn't seem special! I feel like I'm very unpopular and even my mum didn't like my status or scan pic, but I'm sure if it was my brothers wife who had announced she was preg, then she would be all over it !! Just wanted a moan and does anyone else feel the same?

Binnie0309 Fri 31-Oct-14 09:36:09

I definitely feel the same! But I stepped back from social media when pregnant as I was taking it far too much to heart, but you might be surprised how many people show their support in other ways when you have the baby.

I completely understand though, then I used to get annoyed with myself for taking it to heart! The joys of pregnancy eh!

Congratulations btw smile

SeaSaltMill Fri 31-Oct-14 09:46:06

Facebook isn't real life though. It doesn't mean anything.

I know what you mean, its very easy to take it personally. Sometimes, people who don't interact with you much on FB wont see your posts, that could be why.

ChickenMe Fri 31-Oct-14 09:49:03

I think if I'm honest thats partly why I have not announced on FB. Being preg makes you uber sensitive and if I didn't get many likes or comments I would be pissed off.
Thank God FB wasn't around when we were teenagers. I was irrational enough then - it must be so difficult now!

Bellyrub1980 Fri 31-Oct-14 10:01:55

The thing that annoys/bores me the most about Facebook is the competitive 'I'm so happy and blessed with my perfect life' posts that seem to have become really common nowadays! If you were really that happy and content, would you really need to prove it to anyone??

What happened to Facebook all being about sharing funny drunk photos and taking the piss out of each other?!

I haven't posted anything about my pregnancy for fear that it might upset friends who are secretly TTC and not getting anywhere.

TheHermitCrab Fri 31-Oct-14 10:05:04

I know what you mean but I don't feel the same. I only have about 100 people on my facebook (and some of those I don't want there!) So when I did post my pregnancy I probably only got a reaction from about 20 people. Other people had way more... but then I have less friends...

Really though... who cares?.... do you care? It's facebook!

cheesecakemom Fri 31-Oct-14 10:34:29

Congrats on your pregnancy. I am not very active on Facebook but last pregnancy I announced of fb and received lots of messages.

This time however I didn't put it on fb, I didn't see the point. I only told a few friends and family at 6 months!! I wouldn't be upset if I were you - it's not worth the trouble.

cheesecakemom Fri 31-Oct-14 10:39:58

Just to add, Facebook will always be about people posting their "happiest" moments, I mean let's face it, who wants to post about feeling depressed / that their caught their DH cheating / not happy in life etc? Some people do but most of the time it's unlikely that people want to post sad news hence the holidays and other funny pics of things people got up to.

I do have a friend who has problems with her hubby but on fb she posts many pictures of them together as a happy family etc. I can see how she's painting the wrong picture but I honestly sympathise and wouldn't expect her to be broadcasting her fights with her DH on fb.

BilboTheAlmighty Fri 31-Oct-14 10:47:59

I see where you're coming from OP, but really, what is important is the support/enthusiasm you receive in RL. Is your family supportive?

BanglesSpangles Fri 31-Oct-14 11:27:15

I am a massive facebook grump and actively avoid commenting on liking people's pregnancy/baby posts and photos on facebook- A few people I know have seemingly been encouraged in the past by all the positive comments they've had about their pregnancy announcement, and have gone on to post up every detail for the next nine months!

And I still feel the same even now I am pregnant grin

...doesn't mean I'm not pleased for people, and I tell them so in real life, but maybe it's just that there is a whole world of facebook grumps out there- sure people aren't doing it to intentionally cause upset

Bellyrub1980 Fri 31-Oct-14 13:31:53

To me the sickly sweet 'I'm so happy I could burst into a million peices'/'I love my gorgeous husband soooooo much' posts just sound desperate! They immediately make me think there must be something not so great going on under the surface!!

Cynical? Moi?

I'm not saying I like it when people put 'I'm so miserable' posts up either. (And I do have friends that post their every waking emotion on Facebook!) I just find it weird that facebook has become a portal for expressing to the world how you feel.

Thee truth is, the happier and busier I am, the less I even think to look at facebook. But it's a great place to share pictures with people who are also in those pictures. And it's the only way I've kept in touch with most of my uni friends that live all over the country.

Facebook messenger is also pretty good, you can send loads of photos at once over that. Will be lovely for the grannies when this baby is eventually born.

Jodie1982 Fri 31-Oct-14 13:37:15

I've come off it recently. Fed up seeing horrid pics of abused children/dead babies, videos that get shared of children being beaten, if I come across any of it for days after I'm traumatised by it. FB isn't fun anymore, it's depressing. I contact my family and 'Real' friends by phone.

Jo 24+6 x

Sorehead Fri 31-Oct-14 14:06:37

I didn't actually announce my pregnancy on Facebook, just posted a pic of me and DH in which I had a bit of a bump. The people who already knew I was pregnant commented and news got out that way.

I hate it when people get pregnant and it's all they can talk about. I have a few people on my friends list who are like this....I'm close to unfollowing as I can't imagine what they'll be like when their babies are here (and I say this as someone who gave birth to PFB this year so I understand how exciting pregnancy is and finally getting to meet your baby etc)

NewEraNewMindset Fri 31-Oct-14 14:10:17

Oh don't worry, one of the reasons I came off Facebook was it was making me feel insecure. I know I'm not popular and I really didn't need to see evidence of that everyday on my screen. I knew that when my significant birthday rolls around next year I would probably only receive about two acknowledgements from family so not only would I feel like crap because I'm old and infertile but also friendless.

Vunderbaard Fri 31-Oct-14 14:19:43

Well, I love seeing people's pregnancy/baby news and updates on FB blush and would much prefer to see positive things than passive aggressive negativity.

Having said that, I don't comment or 'like' everything I see that I like on FB, because people would get fed up of me commenting on everything! I also don't have my birthday made public on there. The people who really care about me will phone to wish me a happy birthday and don't need Facebook to remind them to do so - that's real life.

Vunderbaard Fri 31-Oct-14 14:21:21

Bellyrub, I hear you WRT sickly sweet 'feeling blessed' status cynicism!

EnglishExpatUSA Fri 31-Oct-14 14:40:04

Please don't feel bad about not getting hundreds of 'likes.' The only people who do are those that are super 'busy' on Facebook and like everyone else's posts (so people feel they should return the favour). It's far better that you don't have time for Facebook because you're out and about living an ACTUAL life, rather than cultivating a pretend virtual one!

Personally as I get older I also think it is much more meaningful to have a handful of good friends than loads of acquaintances. I don't spread myself too thinly.

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